5/16/2010 - power nap afternoon session:

Today is Sunday and my day of rest… but, I have developed the habit of power napping and because being in that reverie state IS borderland… I am having great success in getting the first two requirements for an o.b.e.:

     1. 100 % relaxation
     2. Quiet the mind

The vibrations begin in my feet. In then my whole body starts to want to vibrate… in this session I was about to exit from the brow point and also from the top of my head…

But I discovered I have an ’ego’ issue that stops me… because just before I exit I think, ’Wow, won’t this be great to report to the board.’ and ’Won’t everybody just be admiring and astonished at my skill and ability.’

And every time my mind kicks in this egocentric, exhibitionist infantile need for peer show offishness and Upmanship… the exit stops…

So it is more than belief systems that are barriers but ‘ego’ issues…

Hopefully, exposing and embarrassing myself before the world will dissolve this thing… the ego hates honesty and humility…

S.

Seraphis1 wrote on May 16^th, 2010 at 11:56pm:


Tricky!

5/17/2010 evening session:

Well, now I know frustration. What do I have to do?? I got the vibrations and they developed into 100 needles and not 10,000 needles… but I was right on the razor’s edge… and I didn’t o.b.e. as I should have…

I realize that there was a failure of intensity… but, all of this is supposed to be automatic…

It is absolutely confounding… to be so near and yet so far...

S.

The Barrier of Can’ts

Seraphis1 wrote on May 17^th, 2010 at 11:10pm:



I think the interpretation of this dream is as follow:

It is the battle of Cain and Abel, King Saul and David, Right brain vs left brain… which will dominate… (not with standing hemi-sync and its synchronizing effects…)

This goes back to Guidelines… where I was being worked on to balance my feminine and masculine aspects… I am too male… well recent developments have finally hit the main trunk of my predominant ego structure… my Cain aspect is attempting to survive at all costs… Kristine my feminine aspect gets away from me and my Cainian aspect loves the idea of convincing “me” to break off the relationship… ‘…she how uninterested she is in my welfare… she doesn’t care about you…’ the Cainian aspect is throwing in all the resources it has at its disposal… it can (it can in the dream state, affect my mobility… my legs got heavy I couldn’t climb the stairs (ascend into higher levels of consciousness???)… the Cainian aspect controls the solar plexus chakra the dividing line between the lower world and the upper world… if I succeed in ascending Cain must die or be crucified… it don’t like that idea… my job is to keep on truckin’.

S.

5/18/2010 - afternoon session:

I will be moving on into Part III of AKG… this session is a moping up step to complete specific skill sets…

Potpourri session: disc 1: cut 1 relaxation, cut 6. Interpreter/preceiver; gateway experience - first stage separation.

I’ll be using fss liberally going forward as it fits into the exercise progression… but, the goal is now to finish AKG.

Relaxation phase: energy streaming left hand under little finger fleshy part… (reflexology: heart, lung, chest area - clearly a new phase of heart chakra awakening… now my heart chakra is filling out more of its anatomy… unfolding???)… feb shimmering… more pronounced now… heart chakra activating directly (the energy stream in the left hand area was a precursor to this next phase of unfoldment)… now the solar plexus chakra is activating and I feel specific relational activity between the two chakras as they make contact and begin coordination sequences… (very encouraging)… the heart chakra area is favoring the right side in its awakening sequence… the left seems dormant (this is consistent with my lack of feminine aspects of my nature… my male aspect is taking control or attempting to take control… but, both natures must balance out… ) brow point head activity the sympathetic reactions are setting in this brow point activity favors the left side…

Interpreter/perceiver cut:

In an department store setting (clearly I have now entered the dream mind area just above the rtz… ) black clerk blue shirt black pants… strong heart chakra jolt… yellow green (pea) colors…

Sexually graphic streaming visuals turn on (descriptions delete)… (Robert Bruce says that there is a sex chakra just above the root chakra on the left side… it is activating…

(My interpreter is very subdued and under control… tho, I began to get explanations of how I could have been a better lover to my ex-wife S. (technique information deleted… you will have to learn how to be a better sexual partner on your own… very interesting stuff tho… if I get into a new relationship it should be successful sexually.)

FSS: Mind split… see a phantom… rtz-double?? Blue ghostly… etheric… must be my rtz-d… therefore I projected but, lacked presence of mind to shift p.o.c… raggedy anne redhaired apporition… button eyes in a beige colored moon face… blue dress… oriental woman I am looking down over her head… geisha???

Powerful session body was definitely asleep but not sure how to quiet the mind properly to trigger the automatic reflex tho I think I generated a protoplasmic entity… the heart chakra is getting stronger and stronger as it attempts to generate the etheric double… there must be two possibilities in the phenomena… the automatic reflex and the consciously controlled generation to the etheric body… I believe this is what is happening… I am coming closer and closer to consciously by passing the automatic reflex which is the whole point of controlled out-of-body work… ala… Robert Bruce…

I am not so frustrated now that I understand this… also this is probably going to take a while to accomplish.

This is the masters degree.

S. 

The Bodyguard:

[i]More churning of the solar plexus and the solar plexus chakra..

I am with a female friend… she wants me to meet someone but we have to do it clandestinely the friend is in hiding for some reason… we must go to some place to get directions… it is in a kind of China town area… opium den like… we are followed by a large man who has malevolent intent… the man is intercepted by someone… my bodyguard?... I don’t get to finish this dream… I have the urge to pee… [/i]

I interpret this as follows:

The bodyguard is an important development… the main ego trunk is going to be a major problem going forward it goes very deep and had much power and many ways to survive (see The Matrix and Neo’s nemesis Agent Smith)… (I recently posted that I saw my belief system map… there was a long thick black horizontal line with writing on it… I now believe this is this main ego trunk) tho… if I persistently press on with my daily work it being an illusion ultimately it must dissolve… but the higher mind is coming to my aide… in keeping the ‘ego’ from attacking me directly…

Who is the clandestine person I am to meet? (The Matrix: is it The Oracle??) Is it a female or male aspect? Why do I need an intermediary to met him/her? What does he/she want to talk to me about?

Stay tuned.

S.

OBE/Astral Projection Trial Day 69

I had a very interesting experience last night, at around 4 am. I had woken up from a dream but had not opened my eyes yet, and I felt a distinct presence in my bedroom. I used to be skeptical of the idea that we can detect “presences” without using our 5 physical senses, but I definitely FELT something/someone close to me.

So I naturally decided to open my eyes. I wasn’t fully awake yet and the room was fairly dark, but I saw a human-like form or figure approach me at the side of my bed. I became a little scared but then my vision blanked out and I felt like it merged with me. How do I even begin to describe what that feels like? I just knew it at the time. The typical OBE sensations of vibrations, tingling, whooshing noises were there. I also briefly saw some random colors/patterns and felt some pressure in my head. I was so confused as to what was going on I thought to myself “WTF… am I being possessed?”. It happened very quickly.

I regained my vision and apart from the tingling/buzzing I felt relatively normal for maybe a second. I then saw ANOTHER form/figure, but it was more of a diffused sphere this time. It approached me hovering over the foot of my bed, and then merged with me as well. The tingling/buzzing/whooshing happened again with a loss of vision and head pressure. After a second or two (I think) I regained my vision and the tingling/buzzing reduced in intensity. I mentally said “Hello?” still wondering what was going on, but didn’t get much of an answer (I might have heard myself say “hi” but I might just be making it up in my head). I then began to realize what had happened and decided to see if I could go for a conscious OBE exit.

The trouble was I was so scared/excited that I wasn’t able to focus and just decided to log it in my notebook and stay awake for a while to solidify the memory. It’s a good thing too because I know that if this had happened before I learned about OBE’s I probably would have brushed it off as a dream, forgotten about it, or whatever. Maybe it has happened in the past and I know even know, I’m guessing it probably has. Even now as I write this I can hardly believe it happened.

It’s possible that the affirmation I used before going to sleep may have played a role. This week’s affirmation in MAP for evenings is related to waking up in the middle of the night for astral projection. I think it’s pretty clear to me now that the forms were two of my energy bodies, like the etheric (real-time zone) and astral. You guys can correct me if I’m wrong though.

If only I had waken up during the beginning of the projection instead of the end! Oh well, this experience was still huge for me. I think it has tremendously helped at chipping away my old belief systems.

I also now see much more validity to Robert Bruce’s AP model (mind-split effect, energy doubles, etc.). It’s just a matter of focusing my conscious awareness in those other bodies. I still don’t quite understand how all of Robert Bruce’s model fits in with Robert Monroe’s focus levels, but I do feel like they’re both “right”.

5/20/2010 - morning session:

Potpourri session: disc 1: cut 1 relaxation, cut 6. Interpreter/preceiver; gateway experience - first stage separation.

Relaxation phase:

Good control… tho, I am not particularly in a good reverie state to start session… way too conscious. But I am noting that my breath technique is more controlled have a ways to go before I can use the Tibetan system for controlling reality…

Interpreter/perceiver cut:

Heart chakra engaging… music, male voice… my perceiver is generating faces… strong ones… this time Monroe??? But my interpreter is subdues in session but I catch it being very active during the day… on all sorts of issues…


FSS:

Usual fundamental body shifts… brow point activity… vibrations… but my best effects came after the disc ended and I stayed in state for another ½ hour or so…

S.  [/b]