crossbow
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Hello Bardo,
For your consideration:
You might share some of your thoughts and beliefs with your friend if he brings up the subject and to the extent that he is interested, but your friend does not need converting to any particular belief before he dies.
Your friend is still in this world; not in the next world yet, and when he does transition to the spirit world he will be properly tended to.
And you too are in this world; not in the next world yet. Our work to do is here and now, in and for this world.
Your dying friend will now be refocusing his attention, pruning back his values and priorities to those he sees as most important now. If he is struggling with this process then help him gain some clarity, as you can, while remembering his priorities are his, not yours.
You might help your friend with what needs doing now; perhaps with practical assistance for his family, wife and children, perhaps attending to jobs that need doing round the house, providing transport if required, doing shopping, minding children, providing financial assistance if required. Life's essential tasks still need attending to, and dying can be a long and trying time for all concerned. Practical assistance will almost certainly be needed and appreciated by your friend and his family.
And spiritual assistance may be needed too; practical here and now spirituality. Grief is present with friends and family as the death of a loved one approaches and will be present afterwards as well, but can be minimised. Grief is exacerbated by regrets, by shame, by resentments, by things left unfinished between persons, by wishful thinking that we had said this or that when there was the chance to say it, and hearts left unsatisfied.
But where interpersonal difficulties are resolved, where all has been said and done as right or best as it can be, then grief is minimal.
To minimise grief and maximise restitution and completion, you can encourage your friend and his family to say what needs saying to one another while there is still time to say it - in their own way of course - to say their thank-yous, their I love yous, their apologies, to voice their forgiveness to each other, so as to leave no unhealed hurts in their hearts. A family member's dying can then be healing for all the souls concerned.
As Volu suggests, take a customised approach. Ask simple questions here and there, inquire, make offers. An intuitive perceptive and honest approach will guide you well. Be present, available, and willing to help, and you will notice what needs doing.
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