I'm there.

this is whats in progress for me regarding Sonia, but I have the calendar marked for the 18th.

I briefly touched in as Sonia has been talking to me a bit. this is what I got. Sonia changed into a man, then back to a woman. I took this to mean Sonia has both polarities within the soul making.

In the male form is the active polarity responsible for what Sonia goes thru now. I called forth the aspect of male to talk with me, regarding being chased in the astral.
The aspect, I'll call him "D" for now was in tears. the load was tremendous of guilt. I told D we were going to take care of it shortly.
I asked D to write down everything it thinks it has done, but try not to get carried away, just write down the major things that are causing Sonia to feel separated, alone and depressed.

When the list was complete I asked D to call me. I would then retrieve the list and take it to my counselors table in the astral. these are my disc members who advice me.
They would be able to advice me what on the list is real and what is nothing to worry about.
I have a suspicion right now most of the list is "made up."
Meaning it's a false interpretation from Sonia's mind, that got shoved into the unconscious. like a false self image.
this would cause fear to be in Sonia, for guilt feelings are mainly a fear of receiving punishment.

This fear makes it seem like one is being chased in the astral.
in that case, you must face every fear. or at the least be willing to face everywhere and ask Spirit to aide you.

Be aware, these entities are insubstantial and cannot harm you Sonia. Fear itself is just fear, it's yourself who feeds your fear forms. they tend to start dissolving when you are willing to unravel them to see what the cause is.

which is feeling guilty and projecting guilt unto your own "bad" self.
You will soon begin to think of everything thats good about you.

because I know where to get the record. everybody reading this, think of how we can aide Sonia please. the more join in, we can get it done.

thanks! I'll be back after the 18th or so. alysia 

Sounds like you'd need a healing boost. I guess the moderators can organize a date where we'll send you some healing thoughts and energies.

Meanwhile, have you ever given the complete above list
1. To a medicinal doctor
2. To a psychologist and/or psychiatrist?
Maybe they'll find nothing, or suggest a treatment that you don't agree with, but maybe they have some good advice, you never know.

What do you personally think? Is it something on soul/mind level, or more something bodily? Or something in between, like your family background and/or people in your surrounding? When did it start?

Don't try to give us a self-examination here, just think about it for yourself if you haven't done so already, but maybe you find something which could be helpful for anyone who tries to help you.

Spooky

Romain,

"If you wish 18th is free for focus healing??" --> What is that?

I am very much interested in any help I can get, because I sense part of me remains in denial of the problem and I can't seem to wake up.

I gotta get rid of this "victim" feeling I've got and getting myself more into spiritual trouble.

I seek a way to pull this off.

Thanks to you all,

Sonia

Quote Sonia:
"I gotta get rid of this "victim" feeling I've got and getting myself more into spiritual trouble."

Yes. I think it may be beneficial if you had something you could joyously focus on. A hobby, a profession. Something you like, and something you think you are good in. This is something we need to define us as a person, and as a presence in the physical. A ground-base we can always return to when things (relationships) get strange.

Spooky

Hi Sonia,
I, too, think about why I did something, and if it was correct, and reflect about my own thoughts. But as well I often notice that my self-reflections start to become circles, or go farther and farther, and at some point of time I realize that there will no new insights come from continueing that thought-thread. So, I guess it's like so many things in life, a healthy balance is the main thing. Self reflection yes, but only as much as is useful.

Spooky

Hi Sonia,

Help, please, some of us need a bit more to focus on if that is not your face avatar.
If not, could you give us a nearby city? maybe you did once but I forgot it.

Also healers, I found recently that having the city and the avatar name works quickly when you review in your mind that each post by that name leads back to the person. Not that we send it through the computer and internet, but when you get near their city, it helps to sort things out.

Bets

Hi all, hi Sonia. I have a while back put your name for peace of mind under a crystal I use. just thought I'd mention that so you will know we are all together working on your well being.

I mentally note that in four days it will be Your Day! the 18th.
You should structure that day to not be quite as active mentally and physically as you usually are. this way you may be able to report to us any healing effects. You might feel inexplicable love, it's hard to say what you might experience, so we need your input.

so be receptive and accepting of what appears for you, as well, I note with another forum member, their healing extended over a week or so, so don't put time limits on this process.

dearlite Sonia, I know I asked for a list but I need to clarify, it's not a list of physical complaints as such that I wanted. I too have some of your complaints. when I get physically tired, I simply take a nap. I don't think you allow yourself to nap, so I thought I'd mention it, we are not physically immortal and we might have a wonderful spiritual path we are on, or belief system, but we are still going to need rest when appropriate, especially as we add years to ourselves.

its part of that nurturing thing I mentioned earlier.

During these next 4 days I know where my subconscious thoughts will be. they will be on you. At night, I believe we all go out of body and I have met many forum members, catching glimpses and snatches of conversation with them, about the well being of this entire board and also it's about the shift in consciousness on our entire planet, it's like a wave of energy is on all of us now, even some of our physical pains are associated with this shifting process.
so during the next four days there will be a build up of energy for you, to be set in place for the 18th.
if you cannot handle the entire energy package, so to speak, it will be doled out to you as u are able to receive it without any discomfort and that's why I said it can extend during a week or two, because you will be doing the accepting part through the mental framework; ie: read Spooky's meditation example in the link Romain told you to go.

U asked me "why did D do it?" (D is Sonia's masculine side, as I reference it.

That's for you to figure out, but I think D is reaching for the truth, and wanting to break free of this 3rd generation stuff, whereby a pattern gets repeated.

For now, you might remember the song somebody wrote once, called "what I did for love."  some lyrics go, wont regret, wont forget, what I did for love.

and read your own message under the picture "where there is love, there is hope."

then tie these thoughts into your newest breakthrough, where you said you have to get away from ideas that you are a victim.

since you are a very mentally active person, as I see it, you will work mentally until your heart chakra gets more active and you begin to think with your heart intelligence. as you think about your new breakthrough that you cannot be a victim, find out why higher self was active always in your life, and find ways to consider that you are not a victim, because you wanted to be here now in this time of the shift in consciousness where we find our oneness.

find out why you thought that way, that you were victimized, see if you learned anything from relationships of value. I think you will be pleasantly surprised to learn that there was a higher power walking you through, each step of the way.
sort of like that poetry, of the foot steps in the sand, where you couldn't see God, and that was when he picked u up in his/her arms and carried you through while you slept from exhaustion of your emotional journey.

Your a fighter Sonia. Now you are shifting into your softer side, letting go and letting god do the work.

see ya soon! I feel really good about you. hugs!

side note: the list I wanted would be a mental list of something you buried, like a secret guilt list.
u only forwarded a list of symptoms on the body which developed from the unconscious load of guilt thoughts.

just make them conscious, and hand them over to your higher self to deal with. not here especially, but list them in your head, write them on paper. watch what happens when you write something down like that. you're healing the subconscious to the conscious.
everybody has to do this, but you're speeding it up.