Hi everybody!

In my last exploration I decided to go back to my place 'there', to see if I could meet Ajtosh. I have not seen him in a while, and felt that will be nice to have a chat with him. I arrived to my cabin, sat there looking to my fireplace and wait thinking in him, when I began feeling disappointed for Ajtosh not been there, I heard his voice.....'hey, I felt you calling me, what's up?'.......oh Ajtosh so nice to see you again, just wanted to chat with you. Then we chat a little, and he said.....'are you up for a retrieval?'......sure, I answered......'then let's go'.

I found myself in a dark place, I couldn't perceive anything, and I told him that, he said.....'open your perceptions, your feelings',......Ajtosh this place is so dark and I'm unable to get any perceptions, then suddenly I *felt* panic, like somebody was really scared, almost in panic, and asked.....'who is there?'....no answer....I kept asking the same over and over, I said......'my name is Marta, please who are you?'......then I got the perc. of a young woman, about in her 20s, hidding in the dark and scared to death, then I said.....'is ok, don't be scared, I just want to help you'....then finally she said.....'go away, they are there and are very dangerous, they will get you too'....then I asked....'who are they?'....she said....'those men, they attacked me tonight after I left from work', then I got the imp. that she was raped in a dark alley and stabbed to death instantly by one of the men. Then I told her that it was no need to be scared anymore, that those guys already left and have been caught by the police (I told her that to build the cofidence and the feeling that the danger was gone), then she came out from hidding.
Seems to be that her panic was so strong and her desires to be totally in hidding that she blocked any possibility of being detected. I wonder if this could be the reason why it was so difficult for me to perceieve her.

Then I felt she was not anymore scared, and asked her name, she said.....'Elizabeth Stewart', then I was ready to say, oh you are American, I got the imp. no she is British, then I asked where she was, her answer was something like Hoolwicht (never heard this name before), then I said....'oh you live in this town?', she said......'no, I live in London', I was really confused and just thought, well something I'm getting wrong.
After that I told her to come with me, that there was a person from a Health Care Center where she could go to recover from her ordeal, and that she could go with him. Then there was the Helper ready to take her, I saw both leaving, and she turning her face looking at  me (she was brunette with long hair) and said tank you.
After that I thanks Ajtosh and said that I was going back to C1, which I did.

I was still bother by the conflict information between London and this Hoolwicht, I didn't know the right spelling, just knew that it sounded like that. Then I went to my PC and look for any town or information of a place with this name in England, and what I found really clarified my conflict.
There is a South-East district in London which name is Woolwich, now I understand, this woman lived in London but was attacked in this district, this is why she said she was in Woolwich, probably the area were she used to work.


Thanks for listening.

LOVE
Marta

At Gateway(at TMI), last January, I saw my uncles and my mom who told me that my dad would be coming over soon. On the way home, I got a sudden "knowing" that I hadn't really seen mom, but an entity who would take the part for dad's transition. This was a really weird concept for me, although I subsequently learned that it is not that unusual. After Dad passed in February, whenever I went to him, he was always with his younger brother and mom was never around. Finally, I asked him where she was and he kind of brushed it off with a "We don't talk about that." kind of dismissal. No upset, just matter-of-fact.

A number of times in tape exercises I would throw out the question, but I never got a reply. Then one day, in the shower, (a nice, warm shower must have its very own Focus number), I got the message that mom was "stuck" somewhere and it was up to me to go get her. I was not thrilled with this. I have not taken Lifeline and I wasn't real comfortable with that whole soul retrieval business. A number of times, in tape exercises, I asked if I could try to go to her. I always received an affirmative reply - and it never happened. I did get a couple of "messages" that when I found her, she would not be cooperative and I would have to argue with her a lot.

In the first session at the Retreat in August, I got that Karen would be of great help to me with this problem. I told her this story and she told me just how to go about it, (including asking for a guide) if it happened to come up during the weekend. We were both clear on not trying to force the issue. On my first trip to 27, I saw what I knew was the Guide office, so I stopped in and was told that I was on the schedule for the next morning. I was pretty sure this was going to be it.

The next morning, I went to 27, stopped at the guide office. They were ready for me. My guide was just kind of a light form. I asked his (generic "his") name and he told me that it would only confuse me. He then changed me into my high school self (crew cut and all). I didn't like it, but he said it was necessary. We took off and quickly came to mom sitting in a room. (She died in a hospital in a coma). I greeted her and asked her to come with me. She refused, saying "the nurses won't bring me my clothes and my wig, and I'm not going anywhere without my clothes and my wig". So I called for a nurse and asked for her clothes and wig. She brought them and I waited outside the room. Mom came out looking about 20 years younger.

I said "let's go". And she refused. She said we had to wait there for dad to pick us up. I finally convinced her that I would take her to dad. Then she said we needed a car to go anywhere. I couldn't change her mind so I asked for a car. Her old Crown Victoria arrived and we "drove" back to 27. My dad, her mother, and her brother were waiting. I was surprised that her youngest sister wasn't there, but then I realized that mom didn't know that Dorothy had died. I was pulled away from the reunion and told you are not a part of this. I went to my place in 27 (in one of the tape exercises you build yourself a place in 27). My guide dropped in and told me I had done well. He then told me I had a talent for this and said they could use my help in this work. I tried to be non-committal, but appreciative.

The tears came during the countdown back to C1. A very heavy emotional hit for me.

Later that day I was struck with the very strong feeling that it had all been a "setup", that I had been "suckered in". For the last few months, I have retained that feeling, but I don't have a clue as to who set me up or what they had to gain from it.

Hi everybody!

I had some questions in my mind referring to Entities or Disks, and I decided to give a try in exploring The Leanrning Center, to see if I could get some answers.

After doing my preparation steps, relaxation, a lot of energy gathering until I felt very charged, I was in the 3D, put my *intent* to The Learning Center, assumed I was there and opened my perceptions.
Then I perceived a huge round building, I found myself inside it and in what seemed to be a very big kind of lobby, in the middle of this was what looked as a round desk, sort of information place. Departing from this big round lobby there were many walking halls, in radial manner.
I felt many presences just moving around, no one seemed to pay attention to me, finally I sensed a presence approaching me and asked what I was looking for (sure this presence saw how LOST I was......LOL), well is this The Learning Center? I asked, he/she said yes, then I told him/her that I was interested in finding some information related to Entities or Disks. This presence that I couldn't define if was male or female, said go to the walking hall D, room 3, I said that it was my first time there and I felt a little lost, he/she very kindly said OK, follow me, which I did.
We were in front what seemed a door, he/she just point out the door, I said thank you so much and the presence just disappeared from my perception. Then I went inside this room, and it was like an amphiteather, full of people, I sat in one of the chairs and asked to my next occupant what they were waiting for, he answered, the lecturer.
Then a woman came out to start the lecture. She said that the lecture was going to be about the Self, and asked if anyone had a question...........of course there I was with my question in mind, I raised my hand and asked if a Personality could be part of more than one Entity or Disk.
She immediately relpied saying yes, but first is important to understand the different levels of Self, then she clarified that Self, Entity, Disk, Soul, are all the same.
Then she began explaining:
When your Entity or Disk creates a personality uses different aspects from its bank to do that, now a Greater Entity or Disk does the same thing but it has many more Entities or Disks as yours in its bank to create a new personality, thus can create it with aspects from different Entities or Disks.
What is important to understand is that is no such a thing as a defined or closed Self, only levels of awareness, what may appear as closed or defined at one level, in a greater level becomes open and included. There is no limits or boundaries to the Self, Entity, Disk or Soul.
Now for all of you who are experiencing a physical life, your personality was a creation of your own Entity or Disk. The Self, Entity o Disk creates many personalities or selves from its bank that send to experience different realms. In another level a greater Self, Entity or Disk does the same thing, but as I said has more in its bank, because has many Entities as yours, this greater Self or Entity creates new Entities or Disks as your own. Of course there is not only two levels, you could say there is infinite levels, you can visualize this as a continuum of the Self. Is important to realize that the selves or personalities as you are also are creators, you are constantly creating fragments of yourselves, in a way each of you are also a Disk, being unaware doesn't change the fact. The Self in any level of awareness is always creating from aspects of himself new selves.
There is a circular, better said, spherical movement, like expansion-integration through all the different levels of Self.
There is what you could say a Super Greater Self, Entity or Disk, who is aware of all the Entities or Disks and concioussness of the entire Earth System. Now the Earth System is just one among the infinite number of different systems. There is also even Greater Entities or Disks, that have in their awareness more than one system.
The Self is self-aware creative energy, manifesting through experience all possibilities of creation, constantly becoming more than what it is. This apply to any level of awareness of Self.

She continued the lecture, which was really very interesting, but by then I felt was loosing my Focus there.......and I wanted to remember everything she said, and new I could not keep myself aware 'there' any longer, and decided to come back to C1.

Thank you for listening.

LOVE
Marta

Hi everybody,

In the last few months I've been thinking of starting a series of many visits with what I call my Disk Family,---or Oversoul, I/There. I've just come to feel that they aren't far away or inaccessible to those in the physical. To the contrary, they're Here, within. I'm just very curious about a lot of things and have been interested in information I'd be able to gather from my Disk, as well as kind of poking my nose further up the ladder so to speak regarding who dreamed me up (my Disk) in the first place. On this journey I wasn't There long but perhaps I'll be able to lengthen my stay next time.

So, a few days ago I went through my energy gathering and placed the intent to visit with my Disk. Just relaxed in blackness for a few seconds and then felt someone/something kind of all around me. I took this in and then sent out a "Hello". I immediately perceived soft laughter which seemed to either be mixed with something that felt musical, or the laughter was a kind of brief music---not sure. I could then sense more of a presence and wondered why this was all I was getting (I wasn't really 'seeing' anything) and so asked if I could 'see/perceive' someone from my Disk as I have in the past. I then got a thought, a reminder of when they had visited with me at a particularly bad time in my life (many years ago), and the utterly mind blowing feeling of love I had experienced. I communicated back that I now knew that it had been them. It then felt as if I was being told that 'seeing' either wasn't necessary or that I should get use to it now as it wouldn't serve me well later in this experience. Oookay---hmmmmm. I then saw a tall, humanoid, golden shape materialize at a distance and as soon as I noted that it was neither male or female it transformed into an oblong golden shape and remained that way. I could feel/understand that this golden shape was for my benefit, a collective representative (?) for me to converse with. Although I no longer look to this entity, my Disk, as holier than thou, I just had to point a finger at myself and then at the Rep along with the amazing idea/thought that I was looking at myself. I shook my head and communicated with a smile that it was at times still baffling. I got back a loving chuckle kind of feeling.

So I started asking a few questions, such as, "Is it true that We, as a collective, can re-create or somehow revisit the lives we've lived, in the ELS as well as elsewhere?" I got back a yes along with a feeling that this was normal. I said that it was difficult for me, with my awareness so centered at times in the ELS,  to understand how disk members (those focused primarily within a disk) live...keep from getting bored. I felt a feeling of understanding come back. I then asked when I made my final exit from the physical, should I go to them or F27, wondering if a person has more creative choices in F27, or within one's disk. The Rep said it would be up to me.  I was then asked if I'd like to revisit a favorite life apparently enjoyed by I guess more than one disk member. A not so bright humaniod figure suddenly stepped out of or from behind the Rep and sat down on something. I understood this to mean this disk member individual would be the tour guide. As I indicated my approval I then simultaneously felt myself closed within something, kinda like being wrapped up in a warm, protective blanket...very comfortable, and I sensed but still could not 'see' activity going on around me.

I was then standing above and at a slight distance from a beach near what was either an ocean or large lake. No problem with 'seeing' this! A few birds winging it through the endless blue sky could be seen out over the water. Waves were gently rolling in, pounding the sand below...some rocks or boulders just below where I was standing, trees off to my left, and utter peacefulness. I could feel that this place was a favorite and I was encouraged to remember it. This caught me by surprise but I got a hold of myself and placed the intent to be open, stop analyzing and just be open to the place. I began to feel a familiarity but it was frustrating because I couldn't indentify with who, what, when. I opened myself again and then knew this place/experience had been one of great happiness...but I couldn't get anything more.

I was then instantly back in the blackness with the feeling of many around me...and I thanked them for the short tour. As I was recalling several more question I had wanted to ask I then stopped and blurted out, "Who created us? Who or what dreamed us up?". I got back, a larger version of Us. I then stated that I wanted to visit with this larger version and after a few seconds felt a kind of mild, not unpleasant pressure around me, as well as movement, and I had a brief image of me exiting a transparent circle/bubble only to move out into a larger circle/bubble that housed the one I had just left. It crossed my mind that perhaps I was seeing this 3D image as a way to help me understand what was happening. I was still in soft blackness, could feel something massive all around... and decided to open up again and just see what came to me. It felt right that I would be able to perceive better if I did this, relying more on feeling/perception I guess, instead of always needing to 'see'. I'm not explaining this adequately but oh well. I then had a fuzzy but fixed image of me above my Disk out in black space...and sensed that who or what I was now with was larger than large. I asked how massive this entity/Disk was? I got back that the image I was seeing was solely to help perhaps orient me, help me to understand some basics...that they weren't 'massive' because 'massive' requires 'space'---something they don't exist within. This got my attention. I said, "So you don't exist within space, a space, any space?", and got back that 'space' was a concept that they lived independently from: the Disk I am a part of lives within such a concept. I looked down at my Disk (a hazy view of a transparent bubble) and thought about this and then asked why They created my Disk. Basically the answer I got--a rote I guess because I had to take one piece of information at a time after it came rolling to me in one fell swoop--was, "Why not?"-- that consciousness is always in motion, ever expanding, reaching out to manifest. When you live within the concept of having boundaries, it's difficult to understand perception without them. They told me to see life as something round, or in a circle, that never ends.  I asked if they had created other disks and got a yes...and it felt to be more than I could ever count. As I was just floating there, wondering about those other disks, I was asked a question!---"Have you ever thought to explore the disks you and your members have been creating?" I was stumped. I looked back down and wondered about this, saying no, I hadn't. It was then suggested I just relax and try to not think for a moment, which I made an attempt to do (not easy for me), and I was able to feel quite relaxed after a few minutes.

I then sensed I was loosing gas so I thanked them, feeling a kind of loving understanding come back to me, and then returned to my Disk. I stated that I wanted to help in a retrieval but was told it might be best I get back to C1....which is what I did.

This experience was brief as I mentioned earlier, but it has fueled my desire to want to know more---)!

Thanks for listening and much love to everyone,

Ginny

Last week I had quite a vivid dream and posted it to the Astral Angel group I belong to. What follows is that dream and Skywalker's answer to me and us writing back and forth.  First I have to tell you that Skywalker's son, Mickey, was killed in a car accident a year ago next month.

I had one quite vivid dream.  I was making all these clothes for this big group of people.  The clothes were all alike -- square blocks of very colorful material so it looked like a quilt.  I was making the skirts  and just needed to finish one to be done and then could work on the  shoes.  These were big pieces of material when I got them done Then I realized that they were all really tiny pieces of clothes for cartoon mice like in a Disney movie.  And the song "When you wish  upon
a star, makes no difference who you are" kept going through  my head.  I was outside in a fairytale type setting but real world also with trees and lights (at night) and it was very enchanting. Maybe they were fairy mice. 
Love,
Marilyn
===========================
were they "cartoon" clothes??  just wondering, as I'm picking up on your dream as maybe a message from Mickey again...He had this dream of designing "cartoon clothes" (and shoes) for people... and Disney (and mice) is always relevant to me for "Mickey"...Mickey mouses seem to pop up all over when I get sad and miss
Mickey...and Mickey himself related to Mickey mouse too, as kind of his mascot...  (that, and "happy faces"...) and even the star stuff...  the past few days, I've been remembering the times when Mickey and I used to stand on the porch and look up at the stars together, and ponder life...  and I even talked to him just the  other day when I looked up at them, and asked him if he was up there... and I made a wish upon the
first star of the night that I would get to communicate with him soon...so, your dream just spoke to me big-time, and I'm thinking that maybe cause I'm not as good (yet), as you with this otherworldly communication, that Mickey might be saying hi and/or trying to communicate  through you to me....   
anyway... thanks for sharing that...  Skywalker 
=========================
Oh Skywalker, I wish I wasn't so emotional.  Reading your email just really hit me hard and got the tears  going.  I didn't even think of Mickey then but now, I don't know, could be.  I know that I knew that when I  finished the clothes, I had to make the shoes, only they'd be out of the same material too, I guess like booties or something.  And that song "When you wish upon a star" just kept playing and playing all the way through and when I woke up it was still going through my head. And yesterday morning, I can't remember if I wrote this, but when I got my first cup of coffee and went out on the porch to drink it and have my first cigarette, I saw something out of the corner of my eyes. It was a little mouse running all around trying to find a way out.  I finally propped open the door to outside so he could go. It's the first mouse I've seen out there.  And I looked up mouse in Ted Andrews book
"Animal Speak" and it said: Mouse medicine can show you how to focus and pay attention to detail. It can show you how to attain  the big things by working on the little things. Whenever mouse shows up there are
lessons associated  with ATTENTION.  OMG, I think it was Mickey.
With Love,
Marilyn
==========================
yes... I really do think it was Mickey too...    It just has all the components, and is just too coincidental for what's happening in my mind right now about all this...and he would know that I really listen to your posts, and that you are attuned to those realms so well...  so it's natural that he'd come through you, as you're open to it...  (I almost feel that you have some kind of connection to him yourself as well) and
thanks for mentioning the other mouse experience, and the lesson in mouse...  ATTENTION...  I think that's also a message to "me" to start to pay attention (and trust) those little things more myself...  I feel
I am in the midst of a breakthrough of some kind in my consciousness development right now, and these messages are important to pay ATTENTION to...  thanks for sharing all this with me, and the emotion that it
brings up for you, as well as me..
your friend...  In Light...   Skywalker   
=============================
In telling a friend about all this, she said it sounded to her like the mouse I saw was a physical representation of Mickey being 'stuck' (the mouse was frantic and wanted out so bad -- he even started climbing up the screen).  And in me propping the door open so he could get out -- this freed or retrieved him.

This has all really blown me away and I got Skywalker's permission to post this here so hopefully I can get some feedback from any of you.
Love,
Marilyn

Hello, folks, it's nice to post here again.  School keeps me very busy (in my left brain)and there's not much time for anything else.

A while back I made a post called "View of an upcoming retrieval" in which I stated that I flew with a guide to a non physical place and saw people sitting around a dinner table.  I saw a small boy there sitting in a seat similar to one I sat in at his age.  I asked the guide "Is this me?" answer was "yes".  "How old?" I asked, "Six" was the answer.  I then looked closely at myself and noticed what appeared to be bruises on me.

My sister confirmed for me the other day that when I was 6 I was accidentally scalded with boiling water over my torso area.  I went to the hospital and got bandaged up. 
Although I do remember this incident I thought it happened much later...like 10.  Nope, definitely 6.

Apparently, an aspect of my essence took flight at this time and has been waiting around ever since for me to retrieve it.  I asked for that part of myself to return.

And then, the other night I wrote a series of affirmations asking for a profound spiritual experience like an oobe, to meet a deceased love one, to see an aspect of myself that needs healing...

I had this dream:  I was at my mothers house doing homework and my cousin Colleen was there helping me.  She was explaining to me that enough time has passed by and she has healed.  So now she can help others to heal.
My cousin Colleen died when she was 22 (I think).  I was 18 at the time and her dying really affected me and everyone in our family.  In fact, now that I look back it affected me so much, it actually changed the course of my life.  A chunk of my soul took flight at this point as well and Colleen is letting me know that she is helping to retrieve it.

let me know your ideas....

peace and joy Tim

Hi folks,

Here's Part Two:

We left Mildred and I met Jane and the Professor in the hallway of the hospital.  My awareness shifted down a long hallway, at the end of which was a bright light.  I heard my mother's voice telling me how proud she was of the work I was doing.  We spoke briefly and then Jane, the Professor and I returned to my patio in Focus 27.  About my mother: she had a stroke when I was eight and died when I was nineteen.  My sister and I basically grew up taking care of her.  There were other problems in the home connected to my father.  I've recently been working on issues common to both "motherless" children and adult survivors of alcoholism, so her presence meant a whole lot to me, more than this post can convey.

Jane did some energy work with me, opening and clearing the energy chakras in the palm of my hands.  She and the Professor took turns speaking to me but I honestly don't remember much of this conversation.  It had to do with energy work.  Eventually I thanked them and returned to C1.

The next day Bartholomew, the guide I channel, began having me work with the energy from my hands while in the etheric "band" of my energy body (Gordon Phinn, I believe you know what I'm talking about!).  So I think I have a good idea where the energy work is going to lead.

So here are the results:

1.  Mildred had a strong belief that you stayed the way you died.

Angelica could not corroborate this for me.  She wasn't privy to this aspect.  In addition, Mildred was in her sixties but looked much younger.  She was active and liked to dance, date and be social.  But since she died the way she did and was semi-aware, then

2.  Mildred's body in a beat up condition, legs in traction and arm amputated.

Apparently her body was badly beat up.  Angelica told me her legs were nearly amputated.  Apparently the car's engine backed into her pelvic area, nearly shearing off her legs.  She said that it was possible one or both of her arms were either crushed or amputated.

3.  Mildred led a spiritual life, not orthodox or related to religion, but personal and practical.

Angelica said this was definitely true.  However, she was very spiritual.

4.  Mildred died (instantly?) in the car wreck.  I put the word instantly in parentheses and with a question mark because I don't actually remember Hassan using that word.  The sense that I got was that it was either instantly or not long after the accident.  Angelica said she thought Mildred might still have been alive when the ambulance came, but was definitely dead as they arrived at the hospital.

5.  Hassan explained that she was nearly unconscious or in a coma.  Obviously Angelica couldn't verify this.  However, I'm told that her five year old niece sometimes sees "Nanna" in their home.  This made me wonder about her being unconscious.  I got the sense she was somewhat aware.  But I also picked up that she thought she survived the accident.  So I'm wondering, do the dead dream?  Is it possible that unaware she's dreaming of her family and projecting her consciousness into their arena in short bursts?  I don't know but the it raises lots of questions.  Of course I could be mistaken about the whole hospital scenario.  But I did pick up some verifiable information.

I'm still a little confused about the belief about staying the way you died and Mildred thinking she might be still alive.  Did I get mixed up?  Or may she realized she died before she hit the unconscious state and then later, because she still had awareness, changed her mind and decided she'd survived.

Anyway, that's all folks!!  Angelica keeps walking by my desk saying, "That was amazing!"  Yeah.  We're both a little shocked.

I may have one more thing to post about Christopher that I didn't include in the original post, but I'm waiting for a chance to speak to Angelica about it.

Love and light,

Jeff