So, I was going to
report you the changes I noticed so far:
If you have questions, don't hesitate.
If you have advice, don't hesitate.
And don't hesitate to repeat advice, because sometimes I am not as quick understanding things, as I would want to.
So, first of all, I want to thank you all for your advice. I was given advice about the state of mind to be in, before one does the healing and I want to encourage you to do so with others, because it is really helpful.
Now I am going to explain you in which
state of mind I was before the healing: I was calm, had a calm day, I believed in it, yet I did not build up expectations, because I want to be honest with myself and you about the reality of the effect. I said to myself, that I was going to keep an eye on myself, my feelings and my perception in general, and that's all.
Now comes the effect:
It started
a day before the 18th: I felt more confident, clearer, but it puzzles me that I felt something different a day earlier. Maybe you'ld like to know this.
On the 18th:At first, I did not feel any difference...
then gradually I felt calmer, but I did not notice it right away. I am always really tense at the shoulders and the neck. I mean my muscles are really contracted, even when at my calmest stage. It gradually cracked, especially in the back of the neck, under the skull. (As I now sit before the computer, I am still a little tense in my shoulders)
Then I felt like -- I am not sure how to explain this -- bubbles popping in my head (about 2cm diameter, like soap bubbles). It is like, there were bubbles blocking the clarity of my view, and they went "POP" and then it was gone. I had this 1 to 3 times.
Then, much later (maybe about 3 hours later), I felt like a vibration in my head, but that was short, maybe 5 seconds.
But after that, it really became more interesting.
I talked about the bubbles earlier. After that, for about 1 hour or 2, it was like little bubbles of foam "Popped/exploded". I would compare it with small foamy soap bubbles, popping one at the time. I really felt things got clearer, but I also sense there are some left.
At some point, my head felt lighter for a few seconds, but I cannot recall at what moment.
Gradually, it is like I started thinking differently. I felt I loved myself more (for no apparent reason) and because of that, I felt more confident. I also thought a little quicker. Lacking clarity, often makes me slower to understand, you see. (Actually, I see that now, better).
Since I noticed it, I decided I'ld test my state of mind, by thinking of things that would usually cause me not to love myself very much. Actually, I decided I didn't care how much I failed. I thought I'ld love myself, no matter what. I'd come to realize, that I love myself on condition that I am PUL. So, I am simply gonna give myself a break.
This has nothing to do, with what I told you previously, but I felt so happy. I said to myself that I felt "superdoopey" happy. It's kinda funny.
Plus, I had the feeling nothing really mattered, at all.
Then I thought I'd never thought I'd feel like that during this lifetime.
And now
(the 19th), as I am writing, I feel all warm and I finally want to get some peace.
I had a hard time, coming down to write this all, because I really feel more like enjoying it, instead of talking about it, but I thought that was kinda selfish, so I came to my computer anyway.
In fact, after I have washed my dishes, I intend to go sleeping without watching any TV. Till now, I was always on a quest searching for something, but my inner voice now tells me, that we've come to find what we were searching, so we can quit "that" search.
I wish I could feel like this forever. I wish it would never stop.
I think I cannot thank you, because it is beyond my words.
Sonia