Hi there Tdalek! When I first found this board I was on daily....and I regret how busy things have become, and hope to be able to peek in more...anyway...the way I post, if I do at all, b/c of so many great threads I love to read..I usually do right after reading the first original post, and afterwards, I love to go back and read what everyone else has had to say on the sudject..the reason for this must be obvious..
I'm long winded enough that I would end up writing a novel as I read each new post...lol...there are some beautiful minds here,so I'm sure you will have plenty of wonderful information on such a good question(s)!
I'm a person who has always believed in reincarnation...even though the church I was brought up in didn't share that belief. I think I've been blessed(whereas for years I felt the opposite for my sensitivities, cursed, but I accept myself in that sense much more today) in the way that after much soul searching, and studying the major religions in the world to the best of my ability, I have found a very comfortable position with this question, b/c it used to bother me as well. I still have so much to learn,which is a good thing..this is one place that has given me such a better picture of beliefs I already had, and introduced new material for my hungry mind. Although research and study are some of my favorite things..in the end, any answer that I've come to really accept as truth for me...is the intuitive feeling I get when something "fits"...so I always, if I should be as bold as to ever offer any kind of "advice" would be that when you read or see or contemplate any questions...if you remain as open as possible..usually there will be an intuitive feeling about what holds true for you...like an "Ah ha!" experience. We are all individual, and all take in information at our own rates, and as we grow in life, these questions may come back at random times, and our understanding starts to expand and become more and more clear....here I go with the long winded stuff..have pity it's about 4:30am where I'm at, and yet to have some shut eye..
Anything I ever write is of course,my own reality and/or opinion on the subject..and I never want to state those as "fact" but just as ideas shared..so enough disclaimers...lol...Identity...personailty....deep stuff..and sometimes semantics can get me in trouble, so I'll try to "dumb down"my reply for my sake only
I deeply believe in reincarnation..and feel I have had many earth lives..I've been luckly enough to have had some past life regfressions done by some of the best..and the insights I got were invaluable! After that, I have been able to kind of tune in on other lifetimes on my own, often through visions, or in dreams sometimes...I recognize so many people as people I've cycled with before, and amazed at how we switch roles,and I see the value of learning and karma in that. I really believe we have soul families,and are working out karma, and by using different roles, we gather more experience,the best kind of teacher....to me earth lives are kind of like crash courses in putting spiritual principles we learn on the "other side"to work by testing and enriching our knowledge. It used to trouble me, thinking, what of our individulaities,personalities...and then one day it all fit together almost at once,and I was like, "Of course!"...the challenge here is expressing this right now....
In my humble opinion, there are certain factors that determine personality..and our experience as individuals in our earth lives..and taking it a step further,I really think we actually try to set up the conditions that would alter those,for the purpose of learning the experience in these varying states of being.Depression, mental illnesses,and meantal wellness for that matter, can be altered significantly due to the chemical chemistry in our brains.....too little of this,causes a reaction, too much of that,causes another...etc..and if we are born with defects that alter our experience in that life,we then experience an entirely different life. Also,there are cultural differences,sex roles..all these things alter our realities and personalities and egos in that lifetime....nature vs. nurture....genetics and environment...all these factor in...however,our soul(sematics again) spirit..that is what I think of as my true self, is unaffected by the physical "make up" of that one life while we live it,and it holds all those lifetime experiences,and I feel that when we cross over, we get to review not only our last lifetime, but our other ones, and evaluate ourselves and our growth,and start planning on what additional experiences or conditions in the next incarnation would help us to work on areas we want to expand upon....but I believe that we remember the experiences, but that our earth personalities, which are even changable in some ways,are a small fraction of who and what we really are. I feel the identity in the afterlife is a constant, since we are sexless(my belief) or at least can choose how we present ourselves in spirit, but that no matter how many lifetimes...it is entirely compatible to the soul/person we are. I think of it as before I went to college(and I'll go back again when I can) I learned so much,academically,and socially,new experiences..but that after that,I am still the same person...but just more educated,and education can alter some old beliefs that might not serve me so well anymore,but I don't lose me..I enrich me, by taking what I need, and discarding anything that is in the way of growth and/or my happiness. I also think of it like, when I was an infant, then all the stages through life..I might change many times, even drastically in many ways..but it dosen't threaten who is inside ,my essence,and instead of losing the personalities I had in my earth lifetimes, they merge,to add to, or reflect..and I own all of them.I know this might be kind of hard to follow,b/c I know there's a much more eloquent way to describe what I'm trying to say...but the sleep or lack of might be affecting the way I'm presenting this....bear with me..
In my other humble opinion, as far as meeting our loved ones..I know my grandmom, for one,shows herself to me at first how I remembered her before she died..but as I speak with her, she is in her early 20's...but there's no mistaking it's her..her energy is familiar and unique. But as we cross and are met,I believe there are also helpers of some kind to help understanding of our experience..and then also,I believe when we die, that we are granted a kind of understanding that is normally out of reach in our daily lives, and surface minds. I can see how it could seem intimidating,or sad,or disturbing to think that we lose who we are as we know it..but honestly in my heart,I don't think we lose anything but rather gain..and that the core of who we are is always there...so much more to say on this subject..I even think our subconscious mind holds so much of the answers....and I like the fact that you are able to present that question in a very understandable way, even if this reply might seem all over the place...lol...but I know that asking is the key,and allowing your mind to think of these thngs....if you are asking these questions..they will be answered,b/c your mind will keep working on it,even if we are unaware...and your mind and soul will be putting it together in it's own unique way...there is the section of dreams on this site, too, if you dream ,sometimes our dreams will answer alot...and you'll keep getting wonderful responses from some great minds here,and the best we can do is keep our minds open,and your own unique mind and soul will always be there for you,we are eternal beings..oh and a last thought,would be that in each lifetime, often at first, the afterlife we expect (maybe influenced by religion, depending on the life, or lack of...etc) would be what we experience at first,if it is a strong belief system around afterlife...so that we can kind of process things how we need,and for comfort,and help in accepting our recent "death" but I firmly believe that more will be revealed all the time, and that we do have our "families"or guides that will help us put it all together,surprisingly harmoniously.
What a mouthful,as usual!
Lastly, I guess the simplest way to sum it up in an overused perhaps trite saying would be "We get what we need"...I hope you keep exploring and writing,and sparking some great threads...I am trying to make my way here more often...take care, Tanja