toobeornottoobe
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Greetings, new here after finding a 2008 post on this forum about my title subject. Let me first introduce myself (my spiritual background): I was raised in the Catholic Church and was religious during my childhood and adolescence, then I gradually became more interested in Eastern spirituality (Buddhism and Hinduism) and, while I am open to religion, and can see the positive side of it, I eventually stopped practicing (with the ecception of meditation, every now and then) in the traditional sense, and sometimes, respectfully, questioned religion. Nevertheless I've always believed that we are, first of all, consciousness; a spirit inside a physical body, a soul that survives death in some other dimension. Therefore, in that respect, the idea of experiencing something outside the body was not "alien" to me. And perhaps that's also why the experience was not that "transformative" (as many describe it) to me: I already believed, and my mother once told me that, in my infancy, I often fainted, that I sometimes said to her: "I feel as if I weren' there", and when I was 8 years old I stopped eating and I had to be taken to hospital because of that. This suggests, to me, that somewhere deep inside, I've always had a nostalgia and a longing for "the other side" and, at times, did not feel at ease here on Earth.
I've had an OBE in 1986 when I was 26 after fainting. It was sudden, unexpected and not a pleasant/happy experience. I've never taken drugs and only drink alcohol in moderation, and had not drank at all before the experience. The “trigger” was a kind of “phobia” I used to have at the time. Misteriously enough, different people (some people at least) have different “phobias” (if you can call them so, like for instance: some faint when they see blood) and mine was a strong sensitivity to people's eyes when they suddenly roll upwards, for any reason, which made me feel sick and almost faint many times before and after that OBE, until I worked on myself to overcome that feeling.
I was at a jazz club attending a concert and I was watching the saxophone player during one of his solos, his eyes were closed but, every now and then, he would suddenly open his eye-lids and when he did that, his eyes were rolled all the way up and you could see the white of his eyes only (or almost). After two or three times of this happening I fainted, falling from the chair to the floor. During the fainting, I found myself in a dark place where I could see nothing and no one; the place was dead silent and filled with anguish (or perhaps it was just my anguish) eccept for just one sound, every now and then, that was similar to “electrical discharge” and the sound seemed to match with a strong pain in my legs (like electrical discharges in my legs). The pain in my legs was the only contact I still had with my body (which I could not see “from above” as the upper part of my body was immersed in total darkness). So my consciousness was in this dark, silent (eccept for the “electrical discharges” sound), lonely “place” filled with darkness, anguish and sorrow, while my body was still at the jazz club, I felt “trapped” there and clearly remember thinking how on earth had I got there? Where was I? And, especially: how would I be able to return to my body and my life, to the place I came from? How long would I be in that dark place? Would I be there for ever? I don't know how long the OBE (or “half” OBE? Or was it an OBE at all?) lasted for as, when I “woke up” from fainting the first set of the concert had ended, there was no more music being played, the lights were on again in the room and people were walking over (not stepping on, thankfully) me, with nonchalance, trying not to trip over me!
To this day I have not had a clear, fully satisfying, explanation of what exactly happened to me and where my consciousness was during the fainting. Someone who is into shamanism once said to me: “You've been where the 'lost souls' go!”. Someone who had a long experience in Yoga practices said to me: “The eyes of the saxophone player were pointing towards his Brow-Chakra/Third Eye (which connects us with the ESP) and, since you were 'so fine-tuned' to him through the music aswell [afterall I'm a musician too], you 'took off'... but your Root-Chakra was 'fighting' to not let you go and to pull you back into your body”; and, ok, that seemed to make a bit of sense to me, kind of made sense of the pain in my legs/”roots”, it certainly spoke to me. Still, I would like to know, more and better, at least the meaning or spiritual reason, if any, for this experience. Any further insight would be welcome. From both physicians/doctors/scientists and/or spiritual seekers/experts (I respect all!). Have any of you had a similar experience? This seems the right place to ask. Thank you.
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