recoverer wrote on Mar 25th, 2014 at 3:27pm:Bruce said: "After all, eternity can't exist (in my opinionp) as something with just no end. Eternity has to go in both directions in order to truly be eternity. It must have both no end, and no beginning."
Recoverer responds:
Of course, the Universe was created, so the day did arrive. Therefore, does this mean that time didn't exist until it was created? Can the same thing be said for space? Perhaps such things are nothing but concepts until a conscious being is able to experience them. But how did the first consiousce being come to be? Existence is mind boggling //
That said, does the Source of existence understand how it came to be?
Dear Recoverer,
I am eager to answer your question, but first I must be sure of my own "position" in this universe. I feel that the only person who could answer such a question, is the one who is source himself. My instinct tells me that there is a very likely probability that I myself am the source. I wish not to be arrogant if this is detrimental to others. I am in a lot of doubt about myself and life in general. I have seen "glitches" that make it apparent to me, that this is actually some sort of simulation.
As a kid, death scared me. I couldn't imagine "not existing" but now that the other extremity is "always existing" I guess both are equally scary. "Sometimes existing" would seem like the middle ground, but doing so, one may forget his own existence (as is the case in dreamless sleep). Talking about sleep, I realize this might possibly be the way to unload ones existence temporarily, like a pause button in life.
I am getting sidetracked a bit here by musing, anyway, I had thought about death from an early age. I was 9 years old when I started to wonder "are other people real?" And "how can they prove their own existence, when I am only sure (100%) of my own existence?"
It was only much later in life, at the ages of 20 or 21, that I started to take my questions to God, who emerged in many different physical and nonphysical forms. I started to wonder how God worked and started to believe in the nonphysical, metaphysical realms in life.
After about a year later, I had logically conceived of a theory of universal existence. I thought to myself, if life itself is nonphysical, then surely consciousness will continue after death. And in a vision I saw that everybody in the universe was waiting for my soul, which I did not understand. They seemed to hail me, whereas in real life nobody says anything about the nature of life. I thought to myself, the only way to prove that others exist, is to Become someone else. But I realize, this will seperate myself from my original body, my true form. The process would lead to a literal "out of body" experience, only with eons or millions of years as the timeframe in which I would be able to return to my body (essentially restarting the universe)
So the doors of reincarnation were opened, and for a while I found that future lives who had been there in the past (when I was 7 years old), were now actively seeking me, one familiar person found me in an entire different country, I was glad I recignized him/them, he told me I had the hand of God, which seemed so surreal at the time.
So I was scared of death for a long time, because I cannot remember anything that happened before I was born. I figured death would be the same emptiness, non-existence. When I "discovered" re-incarnation, I was relieved, because it meant I would not have to die.
Now, realizing the vast expanse of life on earth, I am quite shocked, because if reincarnation in another body is the only outcome after dying, it means I will have had one life as "myself" and all other incarnations will be there, in a que, waiting to be inherited by my own soul, ultimately leaving me alone, but with the companionship of myself. It doesn't seem like a fair deal to me. To complete all incarnations of life on the earth alone, would take billions of years. I'm 23 years old and that already feels like an eternity. Not to mention I would then be forced to incarnate as every animal that was slaughtered for food, or every bug splattered on a windshield, or every snail stepped on, which is a thought that is too crappity smacked up for me to simply accept, so naturally, I am looking for a way out. I am hoping to incarnate in the same body, to literally re-live my own life, which I believe is possible, but cannot see the future to verify if this is the case or not. If it isn't the case, then I guess i'm no God.
Today, I came across this site and was happy to see people talk about rejncarnation as fact, that its not just a hypotheses but can physically be achieved, while retaining memory of ones previous life.
Again, I have no memory whatsoever of a past life. But sometimes I am left wondering, have I ever done this before? It feels like it. Sometimes things happen that are unique to my life (couldn't have happened to another person) and I vaguely remember such a thing happening before, even though it hadnt happened in my life as I remember. Maybe my life was set in a loop? Or maybe I feel this way because I know it's possible. I'm not sure.
I have no memory of a previous life. But if any or all of you can remember my life personally, then perhaps one of (us) could verify wether or not I am the source of all existence? It would explain a lot if that were the case. I guess it's the truth, but I have no way to verify that without physically dying (i'm 23 and don't want to risk my own life)
To answer your question, recoverer, I must be the source. I feel that I know the answer to your question, therefore am I the source? Or is such a thing not bound to a beginning?
You ask if the source understands how it came to be. The answer is no, it does not comprehend it in any sense at all, it is completely shocked amazed and astounded by its own existence, it is both impossible and yet possible, how it came to be. I know that before I was born, I was nothing, time did exist, but I was not aware of it. The moment I began felt like an eternity had already passed, yet it was too soon to be the beginning. So there is a real mindf*ck, when did it begin? Or, more specifically, how much time had passed BEFORE the universe began?
I am aware of how much time had passed before I existed, it seemed like it took at least 10000 years but had started instantaneously, like awaking from an extremely long sleep, which is why I feel that sleep is our only way to reconnect with the first moment of source (which is, ironically, unawareness). When I awoke, it was like, I was there, and could not go back, because that awareness perpetuated myself. I guess this would be where the origin of death came from, or at least my (non-reincarnational) perception of death, permanent death. I thought I came from nothing and remember feeling "my existence is a mistake, I shouldn't be here, are they going to let me live or will they force me to return?" I felt like some sort of failed experiment, or something that wasn't physically possible. So I guess death was invented and a timeframe in which to explore life until going back to nothing which is where I came from.
Now I doubt I ever want to go back. I remember feeling a LONG time had passed in nothingness. Maybe I was aware, or perhaps my own awareness of myself triggered my own life?
Anyway. The thibg about life is its there because we believe its there. Its some kind of hallucination, somewhere its placebo or imagination, but I am amazed at how much structure and memory and physicality there is in this realm. I do however, have great remorse for the (fictional?) Events that have supposedly taken place on earth such as war etc. I am guessing this might be the first universe (or earth) ever created so it is flawed and imperfect because the creator didn't know what good and bad really meant. I am guessing creation is a work of time and was not instantaneously created everything but started at the centre and expanded itself from there. However this is speculation I do not state anything here as fact. I am, however, quite truthful in explaining my perspective or perception, hoping that we may make more sense or meaning together than alone.