Hi R. I think you're doing great - it's not like the rest of us mob here are squeaky clean either. We've all got buttons that when pushed trigger all sorts of stuff in us, but we're pretty much all working the issues as best we can with the help of each other.
It's always easier to see what's going down in somebody else, the strength of a caring group is that we can benefit from feedback (which needn't be overt, direct or even consciously delivered) on issues from a variety of perspectives.
I know of no other place where I get to work out my view in circumstances where even if a few fall asleep, they at least don't get abusive - and I know of no other where I can expect consistently helpful and constructive feedback either.
I think we're come what may on this road together.
I think you posted that guy before Dood. I know nothing about him, but he's really hitting the nail on the head for me. He's really got something about him too - this sort of ethereal centeredness.
He's right you know - it really is an exciting time. I mentioned a quote from Mellen Thomas Benedict's NDE not too long ago (he has a website). He was told upon asking 'can humanity be saved?' that we were already saved, and that we are playing a blinder - that for example the the advent of nuclear weapons and MAD are a demonstration of our striving to create circumstances that will force the pace of the development of our ability to live in love.
So I guess it's all a matter of view, of perspective. If we can rise above fear of non-survival of self things can look so very different.
Here's hoping we can pull it off. I can't help feeling R that you may well be right - that there's some sort of quite small critical mass involved that if achieved will kick off some sort of wider transformation....