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Belief System Crash Recovery (Read 23587 times)
spooky2
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Re: Belief System Crash Recovery
Reply #15 - Jul 2nd, 2006 at 7:32pm
 
Hi Jean, I thought of you, where you were, and if you would post again here, so now I know you're back!

All the best to you!
Spooky
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Lucy
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Re: Belief System Crash Recovery
Reply #16 - Jul 2nd, 2006 at 11:50pm
 
JEan! wow! can't wait to hear the rest of the story! Wondered where you had gone. We don't have valley fever here, so I googled. So you were one of the lucky ones who had a bad case. We have West Nile virus here, same thing, a few people get really sick. But Arizona has had a case or 2 of that too. Alaska has neither, but then the winters are a little rough there.

Yeah, AIDS patients have been a real laboratory experiment for learning about the human immune system and things that happen when it doesn't work. So I imagine if they get the fungus they have real problems. So they developed a treatment based on AIDS patients responses to medications? Something similar happened with a drug developed for MS patients; it supresses the immune system and in a few susceptible individuals, that suppression allowed a virus many of us have in our systems...but held in check by our immune systems....to run rampant and cause problems. The physicians figured out what was happening because the same thing had been seen in some AIDS patients. The drug was take off the market for a year but was finally reintroduced recently. Probably by popular demand, because when it works to alleviate symptoms, it works really well.

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Re: Belief System Crash Recovery
Reply #17 - Jul 7th, 2006 at 10:36am
 
These sharings are very inspiring!
Jean, prayers and good wishes are being sent to and for you!

The parts of Bruce's writings that at present I see as the most influential in getting me to pull out of my crash was his easy (usually1 Smiley ) relationship with his guides and the necessity of clearly setting intent with them and myself.
While I was crashed I worked very hard in the workaday world and it made me sicker, and I thought
'Can't they see I work so hard for them because I love them? I must love them very much to work so hard that it makes me sick. When will I have proven my worth enough to be relieved of this pain and sickness?' Never, apparently because that never worked.  When I heard guidance I thought it was annoying; it wasn't dealing with what I thought I needed to know.

Medication helped with the physical parts  Tongue ,  but Bruce's writing was the key. When medication didn't restore my soul, I thought
'I'll go on strike. I won't do anything about this numb dumb soul in me since no other power is interested in it either.They'll have to call me back.'   I quit all spiritual practices, prayer, arts, study, dropped friends, any way I could show that my soul wasn't going to grow in those conditions. That never worked either. Suicide was growing as an option.

But fortunately that doing nothing period cleared my schedule and has given me alot of time to read Bruce's books.---Altho I devoured them first time around and am trying to retain more this time.

Beyond words, Bruce, Thank You!

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betson
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Re: Belief System Crash Recovery
Reply #18 - Jul 7th, 2006 at 11:11am
 
One thing impossible to assess is how high up the ladder was a soul when it crashed,  or maybe how big was the ladder. ?
What if someone sought infinity and climbed onto a really really high step, and then got smacked in the face by some universal force that had been building power for eons?
Real life here provides an analogy: a champion skier does off-season training by bike-riding. He is in the prime of his life in prime condition, preparing for world championship.  And he's handsome, ladies, very handsome. A new 20 mile biketrail has just been completed in his area and he is one of the first on it in the early mornings, speeding along when few are awake. As he takes a turn near the lovely landscaped hedge, a figure steps out of the bushes and smashes him with a baseball bat across his face. He survives, thanks to excellent medical facilities and care. But to rebuild his life, does he go thru the same inner processes as I who fell into a mudpuddle and ruined my only Sunday dress?
Don't beat me for this please; no one has a mudpuddle crash.  But I'm saying if one crashes after hard-won preparation, dedication, and sacrifice got them to where they are, do they deal with their soul's come-back the same?
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Re: Belief System Crash Recovery
Reply #19 - Jul 7th, 2006 at 2:59pm
 
Quote:
Ditto for me. Actually, I didn't have any belief system crashes until 2 years ago and it was something very personal and I did come out of it but it took a lot of work on my part.

But when I first started out, I was so very open to learning and I accepted everything that I read in Bruce's books as fact (literally) so that when I did my first retrieval, I was overjoyed. I was so hungry for all this that when it unfolded for me, I was so happy and no crashes for me then. Wink


Hey everyone and Marilyn,

I'm really glad you posted this Marilyn, it has helped me a lot. So far I'm learning and have been OBE, got PE proof so I know its connected, and pretty sure on life after death and have had many amazing thoughtful experiences but I haven't experienced a belief crash yet i don't think... I was beginning to think why aren't I? when I've started to go furthur down this road and whats wrong kind of thing. But its good to read you don't have too have a crash to validate, accept, believe? all this and that in time it will happen.

Thankyou,

Ryan
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LaffingRain
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Re: Belief System Crash Recovery
Reply #20 - Jul 7th, 2006 at 6:27pm
 
Hi all. regarding how to recover from crashes..sometimes you don't recognize you're in one. so maybe first step is to say I'm under some stress so could be a crash I'm going through. about 20 years ago I was in a job for 6 years where people were told there was a strike coming and since a large group of us were not in the union, they assumed that they owned us and could make us either cross the picket line to replace the striking workers or chauffer in people from other locations from the airport to replace the strikers. they said if we didn't do it, we wouldn't get our jobs back when the strike was all over.
being treated like this gave me a crash although I didn't know why I felt so bad all the time. on top of that I had some strange condition where I could go into a panic while driving, vertigo it was called, so chauffering was out of the question..I could end up killing someone in my vertigo while driving to the airport. its horrible to be behind the wheel and all of a sudden you're panic stricken for absolutely no reason. I'm over it now. I never did go to doctors and thats the only proof they would accept to be diagnosed. I couldn't cross the picket line as I don't like to take sides and have people yelling at me..etc...so I drew unemployment...the only one...they came after me and I won my case. but meanwhile, I'm crashing all the while. I contacted something like pnenomia..laid up in bed only awake for about an hour a day, like in a coma for a month. still didn't consider going to a doctor..couldn't get out of bed to do it actually. I could have died and never even known it was happening. must not have been my time. when I started to gradually recover I got another job which helped me come out of the crash all the way. it didn't pay as much but it was a lot more fun than dealing with a big company telling you how many minutes you could spend in the bathroom and such. its not a good thing to be a number instead of a real person; its not worth the money I finally figured out. hugs, alysia
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Re: Belief System Crash Recovery
Reply #21 - Jul 23rd, 2006 at 1:22pm
 
Hi Guys,

Well my worst scenario appears to be in the process of happening. Due back at work Monday with relapse of bacterial infection and too tired to think of creative alternatives. The astrologist was right; my guides donít make their appearance till Iím hanging off the cliff by my fingernails. I find that trying to keep a positive perspective in the midst of a crash is very difficult.  I keep looking for indications on what action to take that would bring me health, joy, and peace.

Seeking something to hold on to but the feelings are so transitory and the ideas so fleeting.  I knew that I wanted a degree but did not especially desire to be a social worker, met them as a kid and did not like them, but thatís where my experience lay.  Then when I got involved in this line of work I thought/hoped it would be about helping people but I discovered it was more about billable hours (BSC # 1-I still donít know how this dilemma is going to be solved because in Capitalism it appears that the only two options are being a bookkeeper in one form or another or being an unpaid volunteer). Then being coheresed early this year into signing an ďagreementĒ regarding these billable hours while simultaneously being required to be on call for service and all compacted into 6 hours real time-well jeese! (BSC #2-I believed that when push came to shove the company would understand how much us case managers are already doing and not harass us-this really hit me in the gut as I signed this ďagreementĒ) I knew at this point that I needed a break for real and up pops Valley Fever (BSC #3, I did not think my manifested break would be so dramatic but I do believe that I created it with the help of my friendly guides), which provided me with a 3 months off.  But now itís time to go back to my job with the added burden of a bacterial infection, which doesnít want to leave (thereís a message here but Iím still not coming up with anything that gives me that spark of joy). I used to at least enjoy a cup of coffee and a few cigarettes before work and a glass of cold crisp Chardonnay and a few more cigarettes after a stressful day at work.  But now all thatís in the past (BSC #4, I can treat/relax and not have to learn to be at peace just by taking chemical mood adjusters). Which also means no more sitting at my desk to reflect on you guys wise words because this area is a trigger for my past vices.  What does one do around here to get a break here without using drugs???  A warm bath and cup of herb tea just doesnít hack it.



So Saturday I started feeling desperate again and asked my husband to pick a card (eyes closed and cards with the message to the back) from the ACIM 350 card pack just to hopefully get me a little further along in my belief system crash.  As he read it, I realized that it was the same card I had chosen March 26th to comfort me before I went to the clinic to have the coughing up blood situation assessed.  Both picks, his and mine were random, if there really is such a thing, and done without seeing the message before hand out of a box of 350 cards approximately 3 months apart.  Iíll repeat the message; ďWhen I said, ďI am with you always,Ē I meant it literally, I as not absent to anyone in any situation. Because I am always with you, you are the way, the truth and the life. (T,107).  This message reminds me that my guides etc. are hovering about me and that the synchronicity of Mac and I picking the same card, that I am more than this little body inhabiting this little physical world.  After all itís this weeyou/magic stuff that keeps me cheered.

Now tomorrow is the big day and hopefully as Mac suggests my getting back with people may be part of my recovery or then again it could be a situation closer to Alysiaís when she worked for the striking company.  Either way on the subconscious level Iím creating a situation that is not going to go as smoothly as I had hoped.  I funny when I think about the whole sickness thing and what a beautiful job, with minimal intrusion and very little recovery time, the Doctors did my lung and esophagus.  But by being in the hospital and nursing facility and/or taking antibiotics, I now have a life draining bacterial infection.  Fortunately Iíve progressed past the point where I blame my body or the establishment for betrayal and realize that it is some sort of message that will be revealed, at least in hindsight.  Meanwhile, Iím in the midst of crash (# 5-The way will be clear and easy-actually during the coma in May, I seem to remember/or inferred being promised by someone out there that if I did a certain task and succeeded, I would have an easier time upon re-entry. I successfully completed the task but no kudos).

Love to All, Jean 

Lucy, Itís funny that a lot of our best technology was originally developed for military purposes as AIDS has prompted us to do more in the field of the immune system.

betson, Thanks for your well wishes, it helped to motivate me to make sure I shared my current dilemma when it could have been so much easier just to watch a DVD.

Alysia, glad youíre getting along with your book and looking forward to having it in my hot little hands. So many things you mention are echoís of what Iíve experienced and the ways that Iíve interpreted them. Plus, I canít imagine editing a whole book when I have so much trouble even catching my ďleave outísĒ in a short post. J   

   
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Touching Souls
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Re: Belief System Crash Recovery
Reply #22 - Jul 23rd, 2006 at 2:57pm
 
Jean, just a thought. Could you possibly be taking on your client's problems and they're manifesting in you in different ways? 

Love, Mairlyn
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Re: Belief System Crash Recovery
Reply #23 - Jul 23rd, 2006 at 3:39pm
 
Marilyn,

Funny you should say that shortly after I read your post regarding the healer/doctor who was able to effect the suffering individuals in the mental institution where he worked by sending empathy and love from his heart.  It is hard to belive that a change in my mind could result in anothers being calmed.  So in some ways, like the psychologist you mentioned, I do take on their problems but I also realize that there on their own personal journey but if I'm to help a bit, I do my part. It's important to keep balance between helping/empathizingt and not assuming the others problems or burdening them with my expectations.  It's hard to do this in a field/culture where we are expected to be responsible for others beyond what we actually have power over or is appropriate.

But I do want to mention that with this current illness experience, I have placed myself in and recognize that I have covered most of the areas that my clients and husband live with on a daily basis.  From delusions to hallucinations, powerless to immobility, from not being able to concentrate to not have former use of my limbs, etc. I hope to not forget these teachings. I hope to be able to respond to others with more tolerance who don't have the health which I remember having. 

I just hope that I can remember some of what I'm reading from you guys so that I can keep my perspective when I return to work tomorrow.

Thanks Marilyn for getting me thinking. Love, Jean Kiss
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Re: Belief System Crash Recovery
Reply #24 - Jul 23rd, 2006 at 4:36pm
 
My thoughts and prayers will be with you when you return to work tomorrow Jean.

Again just a thought. Maybe you need to do a 'ritual cleansing' before you leave work for home. I have seen healers do this:  pulling/brushing the negative down your arms to your hands and then shaking 'it' off your hands with Intent to leave any problems you might have absorbed in the office. I'm just writing what comes to me.

With Love,
Mairlyn Wink
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Re: Belief System Crash Recovery
Reply #25 - Jul 23rd, 2006 at 6:45pm
 
Dear Marilyn,

I don't really see any external negative energy coming from others in this situation.  Any negative energy would be coming from me ie. my fear of not being able to complete my day with enough energy while keeping my wits about me.  That's why remembering that I'm not alone and to take one step at a time are so important for me now and your sharing of the story about the patients in the mental ward. 

If I had to pick negative energy out side myself, I would wonder about how all that TV watching for the past two months affected my attitude.  But even that seems to be more about connecting with others on a national and global scale.  Those individuals in the war zone are my sisters and brothers and I see it as their faces flash by.  Even GB is starting to look more human and vunerable to me.  I didn't realize that now there are no secrets and if anyone thinks there is, just watch TV on a discustingly regular basis.  Fortunatly the use of hidden cameras has come at the same time as wider acceptance of things beyond the physical world-What the Bleep Do We Know being as popular as it is.

Still, it never hurts to do rituals which calm and create more positives. I suspect that I'm still missing some of Monroe's basics and could use some help in figuring out which ones. The brain just isn't working in this area but hopefully by tomorrow I'll have more info on my next steps. It sure helps to kick this stuff around with another. 

Thanks for your suggestion.  Much Love, Jean Kiss
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Re: Belief System Crash Recovery
Reply #26 - Jul 23rd, 2006 at 8:52pm
 
Hi Jean,
if you had enough money, would you quit your job? Maybe this question is very silly, I sometimes have to ask myself such seemingly silly questions to get some clarity.
Illness and job is of course often connected. Sometimes it's just one knows that job is too much, but has to be done for the money, and the struggle between the wish to quit the job but to cannot actually do it because no alternative is to be seen, this struggle seeks for a solution, and one is illness. It's just one factor of course.

Your guidance is showing up only when, well, they really have to? Hmm, I also often wish mine would be talking louder. They give me almost never direct hints regarding my future. I have to make decisions on my own, they're helping with decision making, but they never give direct advice on certain issues. There must be a purpose in this, and of course our life would be completely different if we knew why this is happening or what we have to do, and this seems not to be desired.
(Only two times I was somehow forced to give an answer to a question. It was, if I want to live or not. There was no "dunno", I had to clearly state at least "yes"; I felt if I hadn't clearly responded that way, I would cease off the physical)

There is this thing called "future self", I read it the first time in one of Kyo's posts, and others here had talked about it too. I wanted to meet my future self, and sure enough it showed up in a mind journey. This is a cool thing. I mean he's also not telling me what I should do, but he gave me a strange certainty. Not certain when or if at all I would once really be this future self, but just that I had someone who was somehow representing my desires, my ideal. I leave it open for me if this "me" is a "me" in my current life future, or another life, or nonphysical, I don't know. It's strange enough, it doesn't matter to me. Maybe you check out for yourself this future self idea.

Have you somehow been able to re-visit your place you have been to when you were in the coma? I mean, a little bit re-experiencing the atmosphere of your soul group, so that you have something to lean on, to give you strength.

Spooky
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Re: Belief System Crash Recovery
Reply #27 - Jul 23rd, 2006 at 9:52pm
 
Hi Spooky,

I can't tell you how much your feedback is helping me as countdown hour draws near.  The idea of viewing my future self sounds good, I just need to calm down enough to meditate.  I get glimpses of things I'd rather be doing but nothing firm enough to hold on to and apply as a money maker.  I realize that I need a plan or at least a stronger indication of where I'm to go with my skills. The experience during the coma did indicate to me that I enjoy working on group projects with like minded individuals and the illness so far has allowed me to drop habits which could inhibit this working with others. You see, I want to be able to sit in both the smoking and non-smoking areas of the restaurant.  Of course in France that would not be a problem but here in the U.S. and so close to California-Weeelll! See I'm shooting to become more flexable than I am. 

I'm afraid that the morphin may have caused the details of my stay with my soul group to be lost due to state specific memory but so far I get nothing except the last impression and the message that focus creates our reality.  I sit here with paper work that gives me options but they either don't pay anything or a quarter of what I'm earning now.  There are certain perks to this job in the people connecting area and proving that I can do it-of course now this may no longer be true. 

I've asked myself if I would quit if I had enough money coming in but then I have no focus to keep me stimulated at this time so the staying there seems better. It's difficult when your in the middle of a transition and haven't quite spotted the shore on the other side. It's also difficult to be the person standing by who truly wants to help but for some reason I sense that I'm in a holding pattern and waiting for something to break. Time will tell on this BSC one but meanwhile keeping fear at bay seems to be my greatest challange.

Looking forward to reading anything you post.

Love, Jean Kiss
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Re: Belief System Crash Recovery
Reply #28 - Jul 24th, 2006 at 3:25am
 
I still can't get over that you got "focus creates our reality" out there. its a real gem. I could expound on that for about 50 years maybe..lol...
I will be thinking about you Jean. I might show up nonphysically of course..let me know if I do! I feel concerned but I'm going to practice seeing the concern as not there, insofar as the bacterial infection and the fear you are going thru. then after I see it not there, I will see miracles to happen, as they are only a change of mind to cause them to happen. maybe a little willingness to see it differently? remember that lesson plan? its one of my favorites because I didn't feel I had to give up all my beliefs and self image if I could just say, ok, I will give over that tiny bit of willingness to see it differently and maybe I will trust this book to show me if I did it right.
thats like stumbling towards the crash in increments but something good always happened if I said. ok. show me. a guide would usually say "you're sure?" I'd say well whats the worst that could happen? "oh, you might die." they'd say. and then I realized I already died and it was great! then is there something out there worse than death? can't think of anything that would be a greater fear, to not be yourself anymore? can't fathom that. do u believe sometimes we are being tested? or testing ourselves? what I used to tell myself when life sucked: wow, I'm in the pits, and it feels bad. but that means my capacity for joy is equal to my capacity for feeling pain.
even in the midst of your pain and confusion, you give us love and recognition. how beautiful is that? everything you've given to another is going to come back around to you..so hang on, I swear it gets better.
back to focus creates reality. how I see that personally. that wonderful message..so much like Seth would say. I see it as being one-pointed. not to be stubbornly one pointed, but if I got a choice to look in four directions, east, west, north, south, and I know for certain theres a painted sunset in the east, I'm going to look at that or focus on that for the way it makes me feel.  more thoughts..

I have to meditate on your message actually so I'll get back with you..its so good I just know I can smell something cooking!  when I used to clean houses sometimes people look down on housekeepers..it comes with the job..heres what I would tell them when they said I missed some dirt..I'd say, yea, I did miss some dirt, but did you notice the dirt that I didn't miss? its either in my vacuum bag or down the drain. you don't see the dirt I just cleaned up. so you can see it two ways.

love to you, talk soon, alysia
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Re: Belief System Crash Recovery
Reply #29 - Jul 24th, 2006 at 9:36am
 
Dear Alysia,

Your responces are super as usual and yes you can drop in anytime.  It was a miracle that I slept as well as I did last night and have been able to respond this morning because of no longer smoking so inturn having more time to write.  I printed out your observation regarding spousal abuse on another thread, it sure makes sense.  But back to the crash, today should reveal wheather or not I have the stamina to go back to work full time in this particular position.  Either way it's a waiting game right now. 

It was always in my belief system to treat those in occupations of service as real human being's like myself but so far I've never hired a housekeeper though I've considered being one.  It's like nails on a blackboard when service workers are not treated with courtesy and respect.  My mother had a lot of influence in the area of housekeeping as an occupation because when she went to her minister for assistance and finiancal guidence, he demanded she clean houses to support her children.  Since then I figured I'd rather have a dirty house or live cooperativly in simplicity than hire someone for the job.

I too have to continue to work on the focus message and it's hard with so many distractions and yes I do try to remember ACIM's tips for getting through a period like this and creating something better. But it helps to be reminded.

Gotta go. Keep the faith! Love, Jean Kiss

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