Although, i never had first hand experience, i can answer your questions based on my knowledge of people who do go out of body.

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You can appear any age you wish, when you pass over.

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in the best ways yes, often they are more enlightend from there experiences, dont like to argue etc, etc. Act like love battery's apparently.

I'll give you a slightly different perspective.  Increasingly I have altered my view from the "appear as you want" position to more of a "see anybody you want" one.  For instance, many many NDEs (near death experience) and OBEs (outof body experience) report seeing Grandpa, Jesus, or the beloved family dog.  The reports include "a brand new body," "young and healthy," and various other pristine conditions of the loved one.  So I always wondered before, how does the loved one know how and when to appear?  What if two of the deceased loved one's family die at once?  Etc.  This poses a problem for many of the "appear as you want" theories.  Also, all the people one knows in a lifetime only know you during a certain portion of your life and vice versa.  If you deeply love your child but lose touch with them as an adult when they undoubtedly have a more vital healthy body, how will you see them in the afterlife?  If you see your Grandpa, how would you know him if he showed up beinng 25?  You can see it gets complicated all on its own.  That's the first clue that it doesn't happen that way, because nothing is ever complicated with these things, it's usually simple and we make it complicated (read the bible - good stuff, but complicated!)  So here's another way to look at it if you want to.

Consider that a person, animal or plant goes thru life and interacts with numerous other lifeforms.  Some they love deeply and form connections with.  The connections essentially weave them together in a quantum way that can't be changed by will alone, it's a matter of the physics in our universe.  Think of yourself as being a big piece of quantum spiritual fabric.  An area here and there is intertwined with other's fabric, some small some large, but not all of it in any one case, because then you'd be the same entity.  The amount of interconnectedness is not based on time spent, but the intensity of your interaction.  An hour or two of intense experience can lock two beings together on a level unknown to a couple of co-workers who see each other every  day for twenty years.  So, then you die.  When this happens, it doesn't change the interconnectedness of your fabric with others, but remember you aren't connected to their entire existance, only a portion ***(see below).  That portion is what you pull towards yourself after death, and what you can see and experience.  I've read NDE accounts where a person saw their dog first.  Well, the dog didn't necessarily "know" to be there, he was pulled there by the interconnectedness of the person having the NDE.  Another person saw someone not even in their family, but who helped them grow so much spiritually, they held a very special place to them.  The greeter didn't know how much they helped this person, but the new arrival pulled them there to the meeting through the unchangeable connection of their growth and love.  

Now if you think about this for a while, maybe sketch it out like a set system (remember from math class?) and draw some lines, you can see it solves a great many issues.  It allows people to be many different places at once in the afterlife.  It allows the right people to appear at the right time to the newly arrived.  And it explains how people appear that we know and at the correct age.  Some see Jesus.  Not surprising these people are Christians who love Jesus!    

Now this does fit nicely with the "make your own afterlife" theory, also popular here and elsewhere.  Obviously you start out by pulling those you want to see into your afterlife reality.  That's easy and simple, as I explained above.  But what if you don't believe in any of it?  You don't think you'll see anybody and there won't be anything?  If you don't pull anyone or thing toward you, there is blackness, a.k.a. your own hell.  Or, you might have a nice paradise to live in, but since there is no love pulling at others, you're basically alone (sort of hellish I would think).  These guys are stuck, until someone gets them to realize what's up and resestablish connections we all have just from existing.  Remember, under this theory, one can't alter the connections one has, they are as natural and timeless as space, the universe and stars, the only thing required is to let it happen, leave it un-complicated.

Note from above:
*** The first question one might ask:  "okay, if we're all just fabric like this, why don't NDE travelers meet former parts of people who are still alive as well?"  Maybe they do, just like the living sometimes are able to communicate with the dead.+++  However, I suspect the energy levels, frequency of vibration and all physical aspects (maybe dimension as well) change so much, it's not very likely one would run into more than a separated aspect of a living person.  I also suspect that we "weave" a lot more fabric when we're alive than after we pass, thus it doesn't change too much after death. It perhaps continues as it was but as an imprint in other dimensions rather than a dynamic rapidly growing entity.  Why else would we choose to live?  The growth opportunities are greater and the energy is higher, thus adding to our interconnectedness and depth of our spiritual fabric.  The enormous difference in the ability to form connections between the living and the dead may explain why we chose to originate life in the first place, back in the day of the primordial soup.  Even a single cell can growth and interact, so in its simple way, universal consciousness begets more consciousness, whether it's aware, live, or niether, but the opportunity is exponentially higher when living.  That may make the afterlife seem comparitively static.  If so, reincarnation in some form would be the most likely result.

later edit: +++ and perhaps this is the mechanism for prayer by living beings for living beings, which seems to work better on those one has a connection with, rather than when praying for something abstract, like world peace or winning the lottery for instance.