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I lost my best friend (Read 11171 times)
Dan
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Re: I lost my best friend
Reply #15 - May 12th, 2005 at 7:05pm
 
Hi Nikki,

I'd just start with the first of Bruce's books and go on from there. There are some free articles linked at the top of the page if you want something to browse through in the meantime. And ask questions as often as they come...you won't find a more helpful and supportive group of people than you have here.

All of this "afterlife stuff" might seem mind-boggling right now, but I think in time what you'll find most mind-boggling is how simple a lot of it really is.  Smiley
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josephpschmoe  
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freebird
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Re: I lost my best friend
Reply #16 - May 12th, 2005 at 9:45pm
 
Quote:
Shocked  Shocked  Shocked

Nikki - when reading other people's posts on this board it is also important to distinguish between those people who are stating their beliefs, which are inherently based on their upbringing, and those who have travelled and experienced the afterlife and these topics firsthand. As Mairlyn noted, Gordon Phinn's book is also a great book to read along with fellow traveller Bruce Moen.

All the best
Scott


Scott and Nikki,

Actually, I was not stating my belief, I was stating what evidence has established based on hundreds of testimonies of near-death experiences.  First of all, virtually all NDEs report some kind of encounter with higher powers who have more control over things (including the nature of our afterlife) than we do, whether that be spirit guides, or angels, or Jesus, or the Light itself, which most people would call God.

Secondly, as for my statement that people can often receive the opposite of their own beliefs and expectations when they get to the afterlife, there is also a lot of evidence for this, so it's not just my belief.  Numerous NDEs establish that atheists can encounter God, non-Christians can encounter Jesus, fundamentalist Christians can be told that some doctrines they believe in are false, people who expect annihilation can still continue to be conscious, people who are fearful and depressed can suddenly feel peace and joy when they leave their body, people who worry about going to hell can find themselves in heaven, people who think they know they're going to heaven can find themselves in hell, people who don't believe in reincarnation can be shown past lives, people who do believe in reincarnation can be told it doesn't exist, etc.

Third, I would recommend not basing one's beliefs about the afterlife on only one's own personal experiences or the experiences of a few people who claim to know the truth.  In my opinion, it is better to look at as many spiritual testimonies as possible and try to figure out what resonates with your heart and mind, and generally to keep an open-mind rather than being quick to decide that any particular idea about spirituality and metaphysics is definitely right or wrong.

I have based many of my own beliefs, which I hold rather tentatively, on reading about a lot of people's near-death experiences.  The best website about this phenomenon I have found is http://www.near-death.com .  Many of the NDEs profiled on that site contain elements that were contradictory to the experiencer's own expectations or mental preconditioning.  And virtually all of them encountered a Higher Power or powers who are primarily in control over what happens to them in their afterlife experience.

So, I stand by my statement that Scott found so surprising:

"people can in fact receive the exact opposite of what their beliefs, attitudes, and mental condition would seem to dictate, because God is in control, not us."

Peace,
Freebird
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freebird
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Re: I lost my best friend
Reply #17 - May 12th, 2005 at 10:02pm
 
Quote:
Hello Freebird,

I want to thank you for taking the time to reply to my post.

It makes my heart ache to know you are going through the same thing my friend was.

....

Remember, even if you don't realize it, you are loved by the people around you more than you'll ever know.

Take Care and Stay Strong,
~Nikki


Nikki,

Thanks for your kind words.  We all do the best we can, and each one of us has been given our own unique battles to fight in this lifetime.  Though I do not know what has happened to your friend in the afterlife, I choose to believe that God has provided a way for his salvation despite the fact that his life ended in depression and the ultimate act of despair.  And I believe this based on the teachings of Jesus as well as the testimony of many NDEs.

Please don't feel that you are in any way to blame for not recognizing your friend's depression.  One thing people with depression tend to do is hide it, because they do not want to admit they are losing control over their own mind, and because they do not want to cause concern for other people they love.  Unfortunately, sometimes this can culminate in suicide, which as you have said, causes terrible pain for those who loved the person.  I can only say that you might hurt less if you can come to an assurance that there is a positive plan for your friend in the afterlife and that his suicide does not necessarily mean he is still in torment.  Of course, there are those who will tell you that he is indeed still suffering in the afterlife, and they could be correct, but ultimately we must each choose the beliefs that resonate with our innermost conscience and with the preponderance of testimonial evidence.  If your friend was a good person, then it is more likely that his afterlife experience is a neutral or positive one.  Let us hope so.

You may want to be on the lookout for any appearances by your friend in your dreams, that could give you a clue of where he is and what he needs from you now that he is gone from this world.  It seems that sometimes dreams can offer a profoundly valuable window into the spirit world.

Peace,
Freebird
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nikknack
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Re: I lost my best friend
Reply #18 - May 13th, 2005 at 2:21pm
 
Freebird,

It's funny that you mentioned about dreams because I had some sort of weird, lucid dream lastnight...I could hear myself laughing in my subconscious (dream) and also in my conscious...it was like I was awake and asleep at the same time.

I know he was there but I really can't recall what was going on in it. I wish I could.

The reason I know he was there is because that was "our thing"---lots of that type of laughing (heartfelt) and so far, I haven't felt the desire to truly laugh like that since he's been gone.  Cheesy

I pray that means we've made a connection and he's telling me he's happy, still has his sense of humor and wants me to be as well????

I hope it's so.

~Nikki
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Touching Souls
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Re: I lost my best friend
Reply #19 - May 13th, 2005 at 5:31pm
 
Nikki, how wonderful that you made contact with your soulmate. I know people who meditate on a dream to recall specifics. You could try this. Also I'm sure it was a real contact because of the laughing. Wink

With Love,
Mairlyn Wink
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nikknack
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Re: I lost my best friend
Reply #20 - May 13th, 2005 at 6:56pm
 
Hi Marilyn,

I'm so glad you responded to what I wrote about my dream.

I've been wondering all day about whether or not it was what they call a "connection". In my heart I thought it was, but to hear you say it was helps me believe it even more.

I will try tonight to meditate on the dream to see if I can remember anything.

Thank you for your encouragement Smiley

Love to you too,
Nikki
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Brendan
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Re: I lost my best friend
Reply #21 - May 13th, 2005 at 7:53pm
 
Uhhh, Freebird...
Does it not trouble you to believe in a
"God" who'd INVENT something like depression?
Such a being would be a PIG... no ifs, ands
or buts.
I would be proud to say to such a being, as I
stood before him at the "Judgement Throne" or
whatever:
"I spent my life making war upon you. I will not
apologize for that. I have NO respect for you, your
power, or your authority... so *BLEEP* off."
Come what may. He who complies out of FEAR,
is a COWARD... is this not so?
I'd much sooner mechanistic materialism be true,
than that this monstrosity (the Abrahamic "God") might actually exist...

B-man
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Touching Souls
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Re: I lost my best friend
Reply #22 - May 13th, 2005 at 8:45pm
 
Brendan, God didn't invent depression. Whatever gave you that idea? Man created depression, wars, murder, molestations..............need I go on? 

I have been in depression most of my life since age 25 (am not now). God didn't create this. I created it myself. My having an abusive husband and feeling I had no way out is what caused it. And my husband and I planned our lives before coming into this earth life for lessons to be learned. The major lesson that I have learned is to not be a victim.

God is a loving mystery. You are a God-spark just as I am and every other person in the world.

It's so easy for so many to blame God for everything that goes wrong in their lives. Good grief, people need to wake up and take responsibility for their lives and what comes into them.

With Love and Concern,
Mairlyn
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Dan
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Re: I lost my best friend
Reply #23 - May 13th, 2005 at 10:42pm
 
Quote:
The reason I know he was there is because that was "our thing"---lots of that type of laughing (heartfelt) and so far, I haven't felt the desire to truly laugh like that since he's been gone.  Cheesy

I pray that means we've made a connection and he's telling me he's happy, still has his sense of humor and wants me to be as well????


Okay...you've passed on to the afterlife and you want to make contact with a loved one who's still here with the rest of us schmucks. Would you choose to make a bird fly into your loved one's window? Would you knock a knick-knack off the shelf? Or would you maybe choose something special that you two shared together so the person you're contacting knows it's you? (You did say you KNEW it was him.)  Smiley

And of course he still has his sense of humor. He didn't stop being him. I think a sense of humor is one of the best parts of being here and I have every intention of taking mine with me!
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Brendan
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Re: I lost my best friend
Reply #24 - May 14th, 2005 at 1:14am
 
Brendan, God didn't invent depression. Whatever gave you that idea? Man created depression, wars, murder, molestations..............need I go on? 

I have been in depression most of my life since age 25 (am not now). God didn't create this. I created it myself. My having an abusive husband and feeling I had no way out is what caused it. And my husband and I planned our lives before coming into this earth life for lessons to be learned. The major lesson that I have learned is to not be a victim.

God is a loving mystery. You are a God-spark just as I am and every other person in the world.

It's so easy for so many to blame God for everything that goes wrong in their lives. Good grief, people need to wake up and take responsibility for their lives and what comes into them.

With Love and Concern,
Mairlyn
*******************************
I guess I was referring to the J.D. Howes conception of "God", Mairlyn...
Freebird comes dangerously close to the J.D. Howes god, or so it seems. He's speculating that there is even a POSSIBILITY that a suicide will be punished.
Any being that would use something as vile as depression as a "test" or whatever (and then stomps on those who "fail" the test by killing themselves) meets my definition of a foul, evil, disgusting monster worthy of nothing but curses from "His" creations.
Now what YOU'RE describing - a non-anthropomorphic, non-judgemental "creative Force" if you will... I can perhaps stomach.

B-man
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nikknack
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Re: I lost my best friend
Reply #25 - May 14th, 2005 at 9:47am
 
Dan,

I see your point Grin

~Nikki
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Touching Souls
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Re: I lost my best friend
Reply #26 - May 14th, 2005 at 12:45pm
 
Hi Brendan,

I didn't mean to 'stomp' on you. I felt bad after I'd written that last night. I was just trying to get the point across that God is a loving being/force/mystery. I know you understand and I'm happy to hear that you can go with that. Wink

With Love, Mairlyn Wink
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Brendan
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Re: I lost my best friend
Reply #27 - May 14th, 2005 at 7:17pm
 
I never thought you'd "stomped" me, Mairlyn. ???
So don't lose any sleep on that one...
What I was speaking of was the loathesome Christian Literalist doctrine that suicides will be punished/tortured in the hereafter.
I've known a couple of people who committed suicide in my time...
And it seems that Freebird is entertaining the notion that these people will be "judged" or what have you.
If there is one thing I believe... it is that NOBODY OWNS ME (or anyone else.) We are ALL our OWN PROPERTY.
Seen from that light, there is nothing especially "sinful" (what the heck IS "sin", anyhow?) about suicide, any more or less than any other act a human might undertake... although depending on what obligations you may have (friends, family, kids, ect.) it may be EXTREMELY irresponsible (not to mention selfish.)
But what of an alcoholic hobo with no family or friends, or a bag lady with schizophrenia? In these cases (no responsibilities) I don't see how suicide would not be that person's "God"-given right...

B-man
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