I'm so sorry for your loss..

Personally, I think much of what happens to us in the afterlife depends on beliefs in this life.

I lost a friend to cancer some months ago..you can read about it here:

My Friend

I've never dealt with a suicide before, but I know others here have. 

What were his beliefs concerning the afterlife?

Hi Nikknack,

Please accept my sincere condolences at the passing of your friend.

I don't think the afterlife is a place of judgement as so many religions teach. I believe it's a place of education, just like this life is. Your friend will hopefully learn about what drove his actions and learn from that. He will certainly understand and experience your love and compassion. And perhaps in time, he'll find a way to communicate his own love to you.

I'd encourage you to explore this site fully and learn from others' experiences. Bruce is one of the most generous people in the world to share his own experiences and to allow others to share theirs with us.

Hello Nikknack,

I lost a family member to suicide years ago.  It is devastating and I so much admire your courage in your personal search for answers.  I can hear in your words what a huge heart you have to be so understanding and caring for your friend.  The family member I lost gave our family gigantic challenges to learn forgiveness in this lifetime because a suicide creates so much confusion and disappointment.  So many unanswered questions and much misplaced blame and guilt can really create a lot of chaos.  I don't know if she has contacted me -- perhaps I haven't recognized her yet but she is always in my prayers.

best to you in your search here, blink

It might help to remember, too, that "other planes of existence" doesn't mean some faraway place that's hard to find or communicate with. I know sometimes when I think casually about afterlife issues, my mind's eye sees a place that's light years away from where I am and I forget that "here" is just a state of mind. Remembering that he's close by might help. 

Hi Nikki

I havent read the above responses in detail but as alluded to, where you go in the afterlife is all relative to your ingrained belief patterns.

have a look at the various info on this website about "focus levels" and what the afterlife is.

its possible that your friend may be continuing to play out his issues in some form of belief system.  this is nothing at all to get worried about but if he is, then it is something that he can be retrieved from.   you might want to post a new topic asking for someone to assist you in seeing if they can retrieve him.   remember that time is only relative to this physical Earth-life and not the afterlife so don't think that you need to hurry!

its great that he had open-minded views about the afterlife.  suicide in itself is not determinative of going to this or that belief system territory.  however it can be indicative that you hold a lot of negativity and hopelessness inside.  which can steer you to certain areas after you die.  its kind of like the movie "What dreams may come" with Robin Williams. 

i recommend putting out a request for a retrieval.  sorry i am not experienced enough to help you but there are lots of helpful people around here that could.   otherwise you could learn for yourself using bruce's books!

Scott

nikknack,

I offer my condolences for your loss.

Suicide in most cases is a poor choice, but I believe God is forgiving.  All people are sinners.  If God will forgive somebody who commits some other forms of sin, God will forgive a person who commits suicide.  There are many things a person can do that are far worse than suicide.  Suicide is usually the result of intense and hopeless despair that lasts for a long time without relief -- something that most people do not have to experience in their life, and have little concept of how it feels.  It is largely because of things out of a person's control, which can include organic abnormalities in the brain as well as terrible events in life.  I believe God will evaluate each case of suicide individually depending on the circumstances and specific degree of moral responsibility and other factors, and that it is more important how a person lives versus how they die.  If suicide causes terrible harm to loved ones, then of course that would be taken into consideration in a person's life review and the future progress of the soul.

I do not believe, as some religions teach, that suicide causes a person to automatically go to hell, nor do I believe, as some people say, that people's own mental state causes their afterlife experience.  I believe those who need comforting in the afterlife will receive it, and those who need harshness and judgment will receive it -- and that people can in fact receive the exact opposite of what their beliefs, attitudes, and mental condition would seem to dictate, because God is in control, not us.

Clinical depression can rob people of their ability to think clearly and make rational choices.  I know because I suffer from depression, and I happen to be one who does not benefit from medication.  I have been suicidal in the past, and I know it requires tremendous willpower to resist the temptation to kill onself when one is in the grips of a severe depressive episode.  It can feel as if one's mind is not one's own, and you have to fight it with all your might.  For some people who have the most severe cases of the disease, that can go on continuously for months, even years, without any relief.  It is then that people are likely to take their own life because the torment seems too intense to bear and one despairs of hope that things will ever improve.

The fact is, most people have never had their will tested in this way, and God knows that.  If God has put a person in a life where they will end up with a disease of the mind, and they must struggle and fight it just to keep living as normal people can live without exerting psychological effort, I believe that soul is actually becoming stronger than most souls.  Perhaps your friend gained tremendous strength of will by fighting depression as long as he did.  Unfortunately he did not finish the boot camp of life on earth as a mentally ill person, opting out because he could not withstand it until the natural end, but I bet he gained a lot spiritually from whatever time he did choose to spend as a person fighting the disease of clinical depression.  I am sure God takes such things into consideration in evaluating where a soul goes in the afterlife.

I believe the most important things you can do are to pray for your friend and forgive him if you are angry about his suicide.  Additionally, I would recommend reading the following website about near-death experiences and suicide, which shows that the afterlife of those who kill themself varies according to their character and spiritual needs, not automatic hell: http://www.near-death.com/suicide.html

Peace in Christ,
Freebird

Hi Scott,

I am, as you can see, very new to all of this. I'm still trying to understand everything.

I think you're right about the fact that everyone has their different belief systems which makes figuring this all out so much harder.

I am confused about what a retrieval actually is. I've read postings on this site about them, but I still don't have a total understanding of what it means or how the people doing them are going about it. Are they starting by meditating or using techniques they teach in books I've read about Astral Projecting?

I don't know, it's starting to seem like the only way I'm going to truly get a grasp on it is to read some of the books everyone is suggesting.

I appreciate everyone's input thus far and I'm taking everything in...I want to learn more.

Thank you

~Nikki

Hi Nikki,

I'd just start with the first of Bruce's books and go on from there. There are some free articles linked at the top of the page if you want something to browse through in the meantime. And ask questions as often as they come...you won't find a more helpful and supportive group of people than you have here.

All of this "afterlife stuff" might seem mind-boggling right now, but I think in time what you'll find most mind-boggling is how simple a lot of it really is. 

Quote:


Nikki,

Thanks for your kind words.  We all do the best we can, and each one of us has been given our own unique battles to fight in this lifetime.  Though I do not know what has happened to your friend in the afterlife, I choose to believe that God has provided a way for his salvation despite the fact that his life ended in depression and the ultimate act of despair.  And I believe this based on the teachings of Jesus as well as the testimony of many NDEs.

Please don't feel that you are in any way to blame for not recognizing your friend's depression.  One thing people with depression tend to do is hide it, because they do not want to admit they are losing control over their own mind, and because they do not want to cause concern for other people they love.  Unfortunately, sometimes this can culminate in suicide, which as you have said, causes terrible pain for those who loved the person.  I can only say that you might hurt less if you can come to an assurance that there is a positive plan for your friend in the afterlife and that his suicide does not necessarily mean he is still in torment.  Of course, there are those who will tell you that he is indeed still suffering in the afterlife, and they could be correct, but ultimately we must each choose the beliefs that resonate with our innermost conscience and with the preponderance of testimonial evidence.  If your friend was a good person, then it is more likely that his afterlife experience is a neutral or positive one.  Let us hope so.

You may want to be on the lookout for any appearances by your friend in your dreams, that could give you a clue of where he is and what he needs from you now that he is gone from this world.  It seems that sometimes dreams can offer a profoundly valuable window into the spirit world.

Peace,
Freebird

Nikki, how wonderful that you made contact with your soulmate. I know people who meditate on a dream to recall specifics. You could try this. Also I'm sure it was a real contact because of the laughing.

With Love,
Mairlyn

Uhhh, Freebird...
Does it not trouble you to believe in a
"God" who'd INVENT something like depression?
Such a being would be a PIG... no ifs, ands
or buts.
I would be proud to say to such a being, as I
stood before him at the "Judgement Throne" or
whatever:
"I spent my life making war upon you. I will not
apologize for that. I have NO respect for you, your
power, or your authority... so *BLEEP* off."
Come what may. He who complies out of FEAR,
is a COWARD... is this not so?
I'd much sooner mechanistic materialism be true,
than that this monstrosity (the Abrahamic "God") might actually exist...

B-man

Quote:


Okay...you've passed on to the afterlife and you want to make contact with a loved one who's still here with the rest of us schmucks. Would you choose to make a bird fly into your loved one's window? Would you knock a knick-knack off the shelf? Or would you maybe choose something special that you two shared together so the person you're contacting knows it's you? (You did say you KNEW it was him.) 

And of course he still has his sense of humor. He didn't stop being him. I think a sense of humor is one of the best parts of being here and I have every intention of taking mine with me!

Dan,

I see your point

~Nikki

I never thought you'd "stomped" me, Mairlyn. ???
So don't lose any sleep on that one...
What I was speaking of was the loathesome Christian Literalist doctrine that suicides will be punished/tortured in the hereafter.
I've known a couple of people who committed suicide in my time...
And it seems that Freebird is entertaining the notion that these people will be "judged" or what have you.
If there is one thing I believe... it is that NOBODY OWNS ME (or anyone else.) We are ALL our OWN PROPERTY.
Seen from that light, there is nothing especially "sinful" (what the heck IS "sin", anyhow?) about suicide, any more or less than any other act a human might undertake... although depending on what obligations you may have (friends, family, kids, ect.) it may be EXTREMELY irresponsible (not to mention selfish.)
But what of an alcoholic hobo with no family or friends, or a bag lady with schizophrenia? In these cases (no responsibilities) I don't see how suicide would not be that person's "God"-given right...

B-man