Hey Om,

First of all, you should know right off the bat, that you are not alone.  There are others out there who care about you, regardless of the superficial stuff.  You may just not have been around them.  You ask for help banishing feelings for other people.  But what if those feelings come from something we all share?  What if we are all part of something greater than we know, and we seek to get back to that bigger picture through love?  We may express the feeling in romantic love, but, thrilling though that may be, even that can fall short (look at the divorce rate).  I think most of us feel, that while we can escape from the loneliness or emptiness for periods of time (usually in activities where we are doing things for other people), the feeling that something is missing creeps back in.

So some of us try to examine who and what we really are.  Some do this through churches and synagogues.  Some practice yoga, meditation, they read.  Some get back to nature.  But there is a commonality behind all these searches; a desire for self discovery.  Only when that desire is stronger than the negative ego-related emotions (fear, rejection, sadness) does a person really openly try to understand their own big picture. 

With regard to a dark side, if you are asking someone for directions to a restaurant in a big city, would you start with someone who is lost and confused in a dark alley?  If you did, you certainly would get advice, but you might end up in a very unfriendly part of town, missing your wallet.  Just saying. 

Many explorers on this site believe we are all good in our core and most are open to love, but that "dark" or evil people tend to deliberately close themselves off from it.  They usually then reap the rewards of hate (something called karma), but there is usually much more pain and unhappiness that comes as a result of their actions.  However, the thing about free will is, that they are free to explore anything until they change their mind.  There is always a choice.

Sometimes, in painful situations like you describe, it make sense to focus on something apart from whatever wounded you.  If you become part of a local   group that interests you, or work for a charity, for a good cause, what you find is that the painful personal issues tend to fade, as you focus on your task, working with and helping other people.  And in doing so, whether you realize it or not, you are starting on a spiritual journey, but in a very practical way.

Either way, you will move past the negative rejection.  You will heal.

Matthew

Om, it might be better to get some counseling from a therapist in order to learn how to cope with some of the anger and discouragement you are feeling now. I understand your desire to totally move away from the disappointing experiences you have had in some way, so you won't be hurt anymore.

Physical desire is so powerful at some points in life that it can be a tremendous stressor/challenge. If you can learn how to protect yourself emotionally/physically you may be able to enjoy life a lot better and, over time, see things from a different point of view.

Remember that you are not alone, and grieving over a relationship's end or life's misfortunes is natural and takes time. In any case, there are many people throughout history who have been unlucky in love, and many of the greatest books, art, and movies originated from real human sorrows.

I have been through what you are feeling many times, although I know your experiences are unique to you. I thought I could not make it through those times, but I did. So will you.

It is not our experiences that make us who we are, but how we respond to them. It can get better, and it will.

You might try some kinds of positive meditations which could help you to feel your own beauty and power so that you can have more hope for your future. Just give yourself some personal space to learn and grow.

There is nothing wrong with being alone, or should I say -- on your own. It builds character and gives you a chance to develop without basing your decisions on the whims of other people. It can be good to live that way, and I think that is what these thoughts of yours are guiding you to do.

Thank you everyone for your advice, it has been 1 week now the feeling of pain and rejection by my boyfriend or lover started to fade away, I shouldn't be upset about being rejected by my lover or boyfriend, I also rejected other men who came to me. I guess there are many fishes out there in the sea, i will have to search for it. By the way dealing with Darkside sounds scary, hopefully helpers would help me banish the negative thoughts and darkness upon me. Once again thank you everyone.