Hello dear ones,

tonight is a very bad night again, I woke at 4am and thought of what my neighbor - a priest who does not believe in the afterlife - said when I told him of my fears: "yes, to not be forever, that is truly terrible, the only thing you can do is not think about it". But for me, this is like trying not to think of a pink elephant that sits in the middle of the room.

I also keep thinking about the fact that so many mystics say that we are only a note in the endless music of life, the note dies but the music goes on. That we are one of the infinite, varying faces of the same endless energy that is "God" and that our person vanishes upon death, but God lives on. Very nice picture, but if you truly think about it, this means that everything that makes us "us" vanishes completely upon death, that it just means we lose consciousness one last time - forever. To me, this is so terrible that I spend this night in tears again. To lose everything that is "life", to spend eternity "not being", to lose all my loved ones because I have no awareness.

How can this be true? Why can so many people simply resign to this? Even, in the ZEN and other mystics case, revel in it? It wont help me one yota that "the music goes on" because I will not be part of it, I wont "hear" it, I won`t participate in it. It is just a prettier way to say "oblivion".

And it also does not fit with what you say about your experiences. You say we meet again with our loved ones, that we remain ourselves in a way after death, that one "Wakes up dead" so to say. I so hope this is true .

I really understand Jesus saying "God oh my God why did you leave me" and the prayer number 23 "out of the deep, Lord, I cry to you, please hear my voice".

I hope you don`t mind me sharing this with you - you all seem very sure and happy in your afterlife knowledge and at the moment, I can really use some of this surety to rub off on me.

When this first hit me, something very strange happened. After a night of fear, I was suddenly immersed in deep love for every being, every human, every thing in this universe. I was simply filled with love (and, I hope, wisdom and people came to me in the strangest places for advice and I suddenly could give answers and felt the "rightness" of them) and could share it and feel it with everyone. This was the most wonderful, greatest and best week of my life. After one week, though, the fear and dread came and pervaded everything and has stayed with me for six months now.

Hm. I feel I have been shown what heaven could be and then it was taken away again. Why? A good friend of mine who is uncannily good at predicting the future with tarot cards and is also a Reiki healer says that possibly I was so filled with positive energy that I attracted a lot of "leeches" trying to partake of this energy (it is true that I didnt have the first clue of trying to "shield" myself and I never thought of it). When I heard of the reptilian ETs, I thought of these a bit. Of course, my psychiatrists says that it was simply a sign of a sudden chemical imbalance in my brain. Sadly, though, if it is so simple, why is there no pill to repair it? The pills they have given me since might as well be sugar for all they help - I have the feeling that trying to find my spiritual way is helping much more. And talking to great people like you, even if I will most likely never meet you in person.

Or, maybe, I am meant to undergo this to find my way through this valley of darkness back to this love I was shown in this one week of PUL? For it was certainly what you call PUL that I was filled with. Is it possible to live in this state? Do you think it is arrogant to think this is a trial where I was given a glimpse of the goal as to be able not to give up? I dont want to be arrogant .

chrwe wrote on Jul 19^th, 2010 at 11:27pm:


Hi chrwe,
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He's in the wrong job!  Just like a vicar I once met here in the U.K. who was desperately claiming not to be spiritual. Sure the two MUST go together?
Anyway, I think on that count, you can try dismissing what he said -it doesn't add up.


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Maybe you're misinterpreting this? A mystic might come up with the analogy to offer an alternative viewpoint to the everyday hustle and bustle, where the most important thing in the universe for you is whether you're wearing the right designer threads or if you'll get that car parking space before the other guy. Maybe showing their ideas might get you to consider that most of the ego's demands are fairly irrelevant in the scheme of things, and some things are just a lot smaller than we think.
Now that's one possible way of looking at things. However, I can see why you're getting upset at the idea that we finish existing at the end of life.
But if our note ends but the music goes on, then try this:
our note (this life) ends, but the music (we, the essential us, who existed before this life) goes on. Forever.

Everything that we are this time around and we have been we take with us on completion of this life. Everything that you have experienced in this life makes you what you are today, and all you've ever experienced in any form (whether incarnate or not) you carry with you.
You won't lose anything or anyone because you'll REGAIN awareness when you cross over and REMEMBER everything you need to. You won't not be, because that's impossible.

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Please relax. it's incorrect.
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Quite a few folks do not want to work it out for themselves and accept what they are told by others. It's easier than taking responsibility for your beliefs. Curiously enough there are surprisingly advanced thinkers who totally lose the plot when it comes to these questions.

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Yes it is for us here, and for you as well. That's why we're having this conversation!

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Did it ever occur to you that someone 'up there' (your guides, angels, whoever you conceive guidance to be) heard your cry and answered it: okay, this is what it's really about, have a little PUL and direct guidance as a foretaste of things to come?
You had a great experience -I wish I'd experienced similar (I live in hope.... )

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Okay, so you got back to your previous state of being. That doesn't mean that you have to stay there. Your PUL experience has given you something to aim for and shown you that it exists. You already have proof or the reality of it all -congratulations!!

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I believe that's exactly what you were shown.
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Some of the folks here are living proof of it!
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The fact you're asking these questions proves that you're not arrogant.
We're all here progressing the best way we know..
Maybe you're feeling a little better about this?

Hope this all helps,
Very best wishes,
David.

heisenberg69 wrote on Jul 20^th, 2010 at 8:45am:


Gulp

gosh, wot, me? 

'gosh, wot, me?'

Why not (!) , there's nothing as inspirational as someone who's been there and come out the other side to let others know there is another side ... 

P.S. Buddhism is a belief system that exists in different ways. Quite often Buddhism is quite dogmatic. It can limit a person just as any belief system can do so.

If it is okay to speak against Christianity, then perhaps it is okay to speak against Buddhism. One system says this book can't be questioned, another says the Buddha can't be questioned.

Hey chrwe,

"I hope you don`t mind me sharing this with you - you all seem very sure and happy in your afterlife knowledge and at the moment, I can really use some of this surety to rub off on me."

It's a fear you're honest with yourself about, not suppressing it, so the first step is already taken. I don't think there's a single answer to how to do stuff. I do think there's one for you, but that you have to find out. Not the answer I wanted when I asked a similar question to someone, "please, help me!". But boy did it turn out to be true, for me at least. Maybe you've got a different answer? PERHAPS the power to fix this isn't something you'll have to search high and low for in other people, but something you've already have got within you, though not seeing it yet because you're looking elsewhere? When in fear or doubt I've found it helpful to do something enjoyable to open the heart again and lift the mood/spirit out of the pain, whatever non-destructive thing that is to someone. You know what that is, I sure don't.

"A good friend of mine who is uncannily good at predicting the future with tarot cards and is also a Reiki healer says that possibly I was so filled with positive energy that I attracted a lot of "leeches" trying to partake of this energy (it is true that I didnt have the first clue of trying to "shield" myself and I never thought of it). When I heard of the reptilian ETs, I thought of these a bit."

If something you've heard about but don't know about through your own experience, maybe it's better to let it be than to assume, worry and ponder eventualities that end up being your own thoughts out to get you.

Life's too short to have long hair when one's bald, also doesn't help to worry about worries that aren't really yours.

chrwe,

That's the great part about being here. It's a Choose Your Own Adventure series. You can choose to believe only in the traditional medical fields beliefs, ie. it's all due to a chemical imbalance that cause us to hear voices , see the visions , be too happy , be to sad , or fearful .

Or you can choose the psychiatric fields beliefs which tries to be a part of the medical field but adds the emotional background to the biological beliefs and instructs you to just distract yourself from the voices, inspirations, sad feelings, happy feelings, or fear along with a few psychotropics. 

You can choose traditional religious paths the requires blind faith in individuals that lived in the past when experiencing voices, visions, inspirations, strong emotions, fear, etc..

Or you can choose to not believe in anything except cynicism, skepticism, being a constant doubter as oppose to being a critical thinker, or generally being a hard to pin down waffler that actually doesn't choose anything due to ego issues and again fear.

Most of us tend to choose a mixture of all of these due to believing there are no alternatives and that we must choose something at all costs, right now, or (1) we look stupid, (2) we feel afraid (3) we look more stupid (4) we get more afraid and/or we're confussed.

IMO the alternative to choosing the above positions for this Grand Adventure seems to come from individuals that provide tools to learn, on our own, what this life experience is all about rather than telling us which adventure to choose. Sort of like teaching how to grow the food rather than giving a free handout. And from those that encourage us to form our own conclusions since there is such a huge amount of data out there and at our fingertips. Most of us no longer live in the little village with no running water or telephone (Remember some still lack these amenities and therefore might be very prone to choosing radical beliefs for relief of fear).

Then follow up these exercises up by living your life, valuing your experiences, appreciating those around that are actually as clueless as you are (in fact I suspect that those that seem to have it the most together-you guessed it-are most likely to be even more clueless or afraid than you are), trusting your instincts, and generally being curious, and kind. 

Getting back to basics now that many of us have the ability to research, eat regularly, read, use the Internet, skype, etc. use our own minds to follow our inclinations, sounds good enough for me. Using the techniques developed by TMI and expanded on by Bruce as well as many I meet on this board have been a real bonus in my ability to follow my heart in this ever expanding adventure.

Thanks for the thread and chance to clarify .

Jean

We are eternal, it matters not what someone believes. For belief is just programing and that programing is what each soul's here to overcome and grow through.

I can tell you from one hundred and ten percent knowledge! You will exist for eons of time, your soul never dies. The only time that may happen is when and if you choose to rejoin, re-merge with the God light force. And that will come when you've achieved all the god light force wills and deemed for you to achieve.

What you experienced was your higher self merging with you. It was showing you who you really are, its your job to learn how to control your mind. Fear is all around us, its the vibration we exist in, but as your higher self was showing you, love can overcome this vibration. Learn to mediate focusing on the love you have within your very own being and use this love to shield and control your fear.  Live your life with strength and love. For once you find real love within your heart all questions will be answered, you'll know longer feel fear of death you will rejoice at the thought of going home.;