David-

Why not try telling yourself this: "Ok, all this Monroe/Moen stuff is a crock.  Those folks who rave about how great it is are just deluding themselves.  They are essentially cheerleaders and groupies."

So forget about them and put away your computer for a while.  Go out and find someone...anyone...who is down and out and cheer them up the best you can.  Maybe a nursing home or equivalent.  Or it could be a bum or panhandler on the street corner.  Doesn't matter.  Give a kind word or a helping hand.

Because if there really is an afterlife, and a life review, those small things are what's really going to count anyway.  Just be sure you are doing it for them and not for yourself.

And by so doing, you will help yourself immensely.  What have you got to lose?  Give it a go.

Come back in a week or two and let us know, ok?

R

I have known four people who have taken their own lives. Of those three suffered from depression and one was ill with cancer. I don't believe suicide is a sin and at the end of the day is a personal choice. But I do believe that the people I knew had other options available to them which in a suicidal frame of mind they simply could'nt see, its a kind of tunnel vision. In that tunnel state they could'nt see that in 6 months or a year they could feel very differently to that moment in time.

If you are facing challenges now, David, you can take heart that some of the world's most celebrated figures also had such times (ever watch 'The Wilderness Years' about Winston Churchill ?). I think tough times really do make success all the sweeter when you get it and it also helps you empathise with people going through similar problems.For example, in his books Bruce Moen can really relate to people who struggle with afterlife perception as he spent so long 'convinced he was making it all up'.

I found 'Signals' by Joel Rothschild to be inspirational on the subject of suicide.

David, your greatest successes lie in front of you and then you can be an inspiration to us all.....

D

 

Dear folks,
thank you so much for your messages of support and suggestions. It's really touching and I'm now cautiously optimistic that something may well 'turn up'.

Rondele: I hear what you're saying. However, I can't decide that this is all nonsense. I like RAM's books, I can see that it all works (the evidence is too overwhelming for a start!), I believe in this stuff and that's why I've kept at it for years rather than giving up after a few weeks. The frustrating thing is/was that it all seemed to be happening to you folks on the board here and not me. So I figured I must be missing out something or doing something wrong.
As for going out and helping someone down and out: for years I've always supported folks in the U.K who sell a magazine on the street called the Big Issue, specifically dealing with the homeless and sold by folks who are trying to get back on their feet. Why? because 15 years ago I was a heartbeat away from being homeless and that's a terrifying prospect, so I can completely empathise with these people. I always stop and chat to them because I admire them for their courage and tenacity. I certainly don't think I would survive if I was in that situation. 'There but for fortune'..etc.

I know there will be an afterlife review and I will put my hands up and admit all the daft things I've done and accept the reponsibility.

I think overall its because I'm now 58 and I realise that there are some things I will never achieve this time around. Some I don't have the time and space for (all those plans for model railroads  ), other things where its too late or I'm in the wrong place. Even though I know I'm very fortunate to play music and earn a living at it, I always feel I could have done it all so much better (the old excuse 'if only I'd known then what I know now').
What I can do is pass on the knowledge I've gained to pupils (who range from 11 to 78) and the two orchestras I conduct (my pic on this site shows me in action  )

If I'm in the place of the darkest hour before the dawn, then I'll hang in there and keep you kind folks posted on what happens. I'd love for b2 and heisenberg to be proven right and that I can inspire you all through what I have achieved as a result of your love and support.
Once again folks, many many thanks.

Best wishes,
David.