bird
Junior Member
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Posts: 86
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Hi everyone!
I'm 43, and my fiance is someone I dated all throughout high school. We loved each other very much, and he was my best friend. We thought that we'd stay together forever, but as kids will do, we ended up breaking up after we graduated. We lost touch for many years, although we never forgot about each other.
During our time apart, he got married and had two children. He wasn't in a particularly happy marriage, unfortunately. And to make matters worse, his wife died last year of breast cancer at age 41, leaving him and the two children she loved dearly behind.
Through the years, he and I had exchanged emails rather infrequently. Last year, the emails increased somewhat as his wife became more ill. I was able to lend support, and at that point I had no idea that he was unhappy in his marriage.
After she passed away, we ended up reconnecting. It was an absolutely glorious reunion for us. We wished that we had never broken up in the first place, but perhaps there were life lessons to experience before we could reunite.
We are now engaged, and I have become "mom" to his 4 and 6 year-old children. They have some memories of their mother, but as time goes on, it will be only me they will really ever know as mom. Of course they will grow up knowing about their birth mother, and I feel very strongly about that responsibility.
I often wonder about my fiance's wife and my connection to her. Is it possible this was all planned before we all entered into this life? And I can't help but feel like she is keeping tabs on me - making sure I am doing right by her children. Sometimes I feel disturbed by it. I feel awful she is not here to be mom to those kids, and sometimes I don't feel worthy of the designation. But I know that I am all they have.
I'd love to hear your thoughts and impressions about this. I can't help but ponder the incredulity of how this has all unfolded!
Robin
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