I'd been going to the local Theosophical Society Bookshop here in Melbourne
over the past couple of days.  There was something I'd been looking for, in
order to figure out essentially what to do next with my life.

Eventually, looking through some other books, I came to Bruce's third book,
Voyage to Curiosity's Father.  I then read probably about a third of that,
maybe a bit more, and found it extremely relevant.

I read about the Hell and Hollow Heaven scenarios.  I had the impression of a
number of presences around me as I was reading the book, and was also given a
very rapid glimpse of a construct I'd apparently been working on, presumably
while asleep, when the practice of making those came up as a topic.

It was apparently a recreation of an aunt of mine's house, from when I was
probably only four or five years old.  There were some changes though, I
think.  The place was beautiful, and I had the sense of a lot of sunlight; a
sunrise, it seemed like.

The other relevant point that came up though, and this was the most relevant
thing for me, was where it talks about a person losing the ability to give or
receive PUL; and how that can happen due to a lack of self-acceptance.  This
also made me remember that the period when I was originally

I came to realise that over the last 6-8 months or so, that had become a major
issue for me.  As I continued reading about that, the book mentioned that if a
person is able to find even some aspects of themselves which they can accept,
then that is one way through which they can start feeling good about
themselves, again.

I realised that the one aspect of myself, in that sense, that I've always
really felt positive about (and which, as scary as this might sound, has
actually ended up being the primary source of any self-esteem that I've had)
is that aspect which I associated with a World of Warcraft character.

WoW is an environment which, for the purposes of this site, can essentially be
thought of as a synthetic Belief System Territory.  My character in it was a ranger and Hunter, and was also analogous to Russell Crowe's character from the film Gladiator in some respects.  As well as teaching some people how to hunt, I also at times led groups of people in a couple of different forms of combat, as well.

I'd been thinking only a few days prior to this, that I needed to give WoW up,
because I haven't really played the game regularly since January, and I had
become bored doing so.  I felt a lot of emotional resistance to this idea,
though; and then the heart trouble began.  I started having palpitations, and
chest and arm pain for a number of days, and for a while I couldn't figure out
what was causing it.

After reading the parts of Voyage to Curiousity's Father though, and
attempting to re-integrate that aspect of myself, the heart issues went almost
immediately, and for the most part have not been back since.  It was, in a
very real sense, as though I've got my heart back.

Bruce's work has been enormously beneficial to me once before, when I was
initially leaving Christianity; it's helping me on an ongoing basis, it seems.

Romain, I also want to really apologise to you over not having answered you
yet when you mentioned some PUL related work that you've been doing.  I want
to help with the Samoa retrieval work as much as I can, and will set intent to
go either to TMI There or the actual site before sleep, whichever is
appropriate.  I'm still not always hugely conscious while out though, so if
any of you see me There and are able to give me a nudge, it would be
appreciated.

Volu wrote on Oct 2^nd, 2009 at 5:31am:


At the time, (2004-2005) the retrieval accounts I read here, along with Kryon's material and a lot of Cthonic/Hell themed dreams I was having at the time, helped me get over the fear of Hell, once and for all.

In terms of how the Christians reacted to me; one of the main reasons why I left was because a Christian I'd known for years, who I'd regarded as a mentor; his last words to me were that I had become Satan's property.

I was tired of being among a group of people who feared me and who thought I was evil, simply because I was curious about certain things.

I don't understand this at all. I actually don't understand all this Jehovah God, Satan, and Jesus existed.

The only record of the existence of these beings is the bible.

The bible was written by man. Period. Even religions must accept the fact that man wrote the bible. Supposedly the bible was "inspired" by God.

Nothing personal, but gee whiz, people that are willing to accept the bible as a true and accurate reference for life and death have:

A LOT OF FAITH.

Yes, this is my opinion, I do not want everyone to think I am stating I am 100% correct and speaking facts, but I sure as ::BEEP:: not believe or trust in this God / bible stuff.

If God wants me to believe in him.... if Satan wants me to believe in him, come forth. Enter my body, my soul. Speak through me now. Infest me. Take me. I challenge thee.

::crickets chirping::

Petrus,
I think that was his lame way of saying you had become uncontrollable to him. I enjoyed reading that. Thanks.

Volu wrote on Oct 2^nd, 2009 at 5:31am:


I hope you were leaving the religion of Christianity and not Jesus the most influential and significant being that ever walked our little planets sandy roads