I want to thank you all for your responses on my other topics, from which I learned very much.

LaffingRain, your way of answering is really thoughtful.

I hear many people talking about belief-systems, on this website.

Of course PUL remains the most important according to me. But I was wondering: There are other elements important besides PUL.

I see PUL as the most important visible part of the iceberg.

I want to know what there is underneath: the hidden part of the iceberg. I want to know the best way to PUL. I want to know how to create strong, healthy, stable PUL.

How do you do that?

: I never experienced PUL myself. I only know love without understanding, love without thrust, love without....

How do I give something I never experienced? How do I create a belief-system I do not really know?

Somehow, I belief that if I fail creating this in my life now, I will be trapped in an area of afterlife, in which people are also unable to give it.

Could you help me with this.

Sonia

Experiencing PUL is not as difficult as you may believe. 

PUL is basically the source of our being, so in a way YOU ARE PUL. 

Experiencing this energy results from acting and thinking in alignment with your innermost being. 

For example, I experience PUL when I play and write music, when I draw, when I surf, when I am with my wife, when I help people expand their perspectives of life to bring about positive changes. 

In other words, you will become more in touch with your own inner state of PUL by doing what brings the most joy and excitement into your life. 

This will in turn allow you to express your PUL to others.  When you live in an expanded state of PUL it naturally flows from you to everyone around.

Remember, Sonia, a loving universe gives you permission to feel joy, sorrow, all human emotions. You are not required to have perfect love at all times, only to be receptive to it. I think you perceive it correctly as a kind of door to be opened. In meditation you can find out how strong and deep love can be. Once the door is open you will want to return again and again.

thanks Ian, good post, good balancing points you made as usual.

would just like to add that TMI, and Bruce's books and especially the 5th book with all the 3 breath exercises (a type of meditation) are in alignment with ACIM.
Both disciplines are about PUL, which increases awareness.

I like the way you say it's more about undoing belief systems than doing them up.

I find that the fun starts when we see the struggle as not something to be afraid of, or run away from or stuff down, but to look closely at what's bothering us. then those periods of struggle, of the undoing, of feeling separated from others, from life abundant, those periods get much shorter in duration, with practice at looking more closely at what's bothering us. this increases the fun periods considerably.

but I am just looking at intellectual pov right at the moment.

the real issue is trusting yourself, or trusting in God if you are religious pov. I am no longer able to see God as separated from my trust in self, although I hope others do not think I'm too bold to say this. actually, we do have to reach the point where another's opinion of us, if false, or negative, we have to be able to see the truth, and a great deal of the time, unless another is coming from pure PUL, which is not a separation concept..their opinion of you, is none of your business.

we can only change ourselves..not another person or circumstance.
thanks for all your work here Vajra, and I know we are all working hard.

Hi Sonia,

To add to what others have said:

In your iceberg metaphor, I feel that PUL is the ocean and we are the icebergs.
Right now the most visible part is the limited, untransformed, unillumined being that we think is 'us'.
Right now we see ourselves as mostly unknown separate chunks of ice floating around in an unknowable, uncertain sea that seems separate from 'us' as we are separate from each other.

As we progress, new parts of the iceberg roll over and get exposed in order to be transformed as it melts into the ocean, eventually becoming PUL as we surrender to becoming the ocean itself.
The ice and the sea are the same essence, even if temporarily differently appearing substance.

Belief systems are just expedients - stepping stones, icebergs.
They form and dissolve according to the need within evolution of Nature.
Even a human life is a temporary expedient.
So choose what works for where you want to go.
A human being gets a more free-will self-conscious choice in that regard.

People say they want to know God's Will, or what PUL is.
All that has to be done is to constantly make those things more real and a more recognized part of the life instead of something outside of it.
Positive transformation of consciousness is the result of deliberate orientation, focus and conditioning.

On one hand, as a 'starting point' -
Unfortunately, PUL is rarely available on the untransformed human level, because so many unillumined components of the being block and distort PUL into the limited, less than satisfying forms we are used to, and what you describe - ie: very very conditional and impure forms.

Yet -
On another level, PUL is always operating and available as it is really all there is - and it also creates, sustains and transforms life in the physical, just as the iceberg is made of the same essence as the ocean - so you have and you are experiencing PUL all the time, it is just a matter of discovery, recognition, becoming more aware of it, being grateful for it, merging into it, becoming it. This relates to the conditioning of consciousness - the choices we make at every second - mindfulness, awareness, etc.

So -
Please don't doubt yourself as what you are looking for is within and doubt would be counter-productive.

Traditional ways that are helpful for inspiration are to read about and access writings, spend time with people who have similar goals, are committed to, or especially those who have been successful in achieving what you are looking for, and just making a sincere effort to increasingly integrate a mindfulness of PUL and its myriad forms operating within a single life and all of life.

Also -
Don't worry about "giving" it.
Just become it and the giving (in any and all directions) will take care of itself - here, there, everywhere.
We are all in the process of learning this.


- u

Sonia,

Basicly, when your consciousness evolves and you let go of fears and ego, you _become_ love and you are expression of PUL... 

You don't have to create a belief system... Beliefs systems are generaly a 'stop' to our evolution become we can't let go of them.   We can use them temporally, but no more... Don't make truth about beliefs, just use them, and let them go as soon as possible, otherwise, your ego and fears will use them. 

Hey Everybody,

I want to thank you all for what you wrote down, which really is helpful because it helps me think another, better way.

Nonetheless, I wanted to share some comments with you hereunder, based on what was written. I think this is an opportunity to learn for everybody. My COMMENTS follow the QUOTES written in .

It’s a long post (so take your time), but I wanted to give you my attention and my time through my responses because I am so grateful for your answers and I can see that you also spent time on me through those answers.




COMMENT 1:
That is what I am afraid off: to give unhealthy, distorted or poisoned love. I am afraid to create such love, not to be aware about the creation of wrong love and to be trapped later with people who have the same problem and then (when I get trapped) I might think this is reality.

In a certain way, I think that I might give love wrongly because that is all I know in this reality already. How can I know that I am doing right?




COMMENT 2:
Actually, the only moment where I remember a true pure unconditional love is in my mind, in a dream. I saw a golden light and it shone beautifully as I was marvelling at it.

After that, I feel terribly emotionally hurt to have to admit to myself that the only time I think I know PUL is a moment that I feel did not happen in my (physical) reality. The above described dream-scene looks unreal to me, like a fiction and I don’t know how to hold on to it.

I am sorry to say so, but I feel that for each moment of love in my life I had to pay a terribly heavy emotional price. THAT does NOT make me feel good when I think about love. Therefore, I have such difficulties to hold on to it and even more difficulties to create it in my mind to give it to others.




COMMENT 3:
I would so much like to feel that. Can you explain to me how you achieved that?




COMMENT 4:
What would make me feel joy and excitement is for once to be surrounded by people that instead of just needing me or judging me, would actually care about (and know how to handle) what I think. I would so much like to be surrounded by people who can deal with their own emotions and help me do so with mine.

Unfortunately, each time I meet such people (=who can deal with emotions and be positive) all they seem to notice is my struggle (which they cannot identify), then, sooner or later, they turn to somebody who is more like them (because “like attracts like”).

In fact, because I am so clumsy in love and emotion(s), I reap what I sow. I think people act towards me, the way I am. They do NOT realize that I was raised in an environment that never did/does handle or talk about emotion.

I feel kinda trapped in this reality.




COMMENT 5:
I do NOT want to go to a place where people TRY to be more loving. If these people are as incompetent as I think I am, I don’t think I am going to like it.

I want to go to a place where people ARE more loving and KNOW what they are doing with that.

(I really don’t think I am doing a good job at PUL. My intentions are good, but in the end I always fall back in the same wrong habits (or beliefs) and the clue is I don’t love myself for not being loving or strong enough to give PUL. I am out of ideas to try on myself and this really irritates me, because I don’t know what to do about myself. I don’t find solutions and I am loosing my patience, because I wanted to help other people WITH love and not just superficially like I am doing now. I wanted to do a good job helping people, but now I am just helping people in a way that lacks caring.)

How can I even be sure that there will be appropriate teachers in the afterlife? If I am trapped with people alike me, why would there be competent teachers? I don’t know, really? The thought me not being sure about this makes me feel really bad.


PS: I probably help people in a desperate attempt to be PUL and because you “don’t do unto others, …(you know the saying)”




COMMENT 6:
That is really good advice, but due to my problems named in comment 4 & 5, I don’t really know how to apply it at this moment.
But I really think it’s a very good advice and I would definitely never have thought of it myself.




COMMENT 7:
The fact that you say that I don’t have to give perfect love all the time really soothes my pain about the subject PUL. But I don’t know how to open this door and really if I had a choice, I would want to be PUL and to give PUL all the time, day and night.




COMMENT 8:
I think I have a true problem defining and identifying which believes to keep and which to drop. Occasionally, when I think I found a believe I should drop, I have a really hard time dropping it and then I get really discouraged when I notice that I failed.

I should also look at the bright side and say that occasionally I do succeed in dropping blocking beliefs.




COMMENT 9:
What is scarifying in my case is that, at times, when I was loving (and that was not PUL yet), I got misused and I ended up in a deeper pit then I was before (meaning that my situation got worse). Why do I feel so discouraged? I think I should be stronger, but I am afraid to get myself again in worse situations because of love and I cannot drop that fear, because I am the 3rd generation in my family to which this happens.

Maybe we are doing something wrong. Maybe we fail to protect ourselves correctly. I don’t know why this is going wrong?

All I know, is that many people who underwent this fate, came out really broken, frustrated and unloving AND THAT makes me so afraid.





COMMENT 10:
I do not understand what is written here. Could you be clearer?




COMMENT 11:
It is the entire supporting building that I want to get to know. I really want to master PUL in a conscious way to learn it to others afterwards. The KEY QUESTION is: How do I do that? Do you have any idea?




COMMENT 12:
Why is it bad if I measure myself?

I really need to encourage myself, by noticing some progress, otherwise I don’t know how to hold on. That is why I am measuring.




COMMENT 13:
If I have a problem with PUL now, if I cannot solve this problem in this life and if therefore I end up in an afterlife without PUL, I totally disagree with that fate (although I think I lack choice at this stage). What can I do not to undergo that?

I really dream of these beings of light, people see in Near Death Experiences. I so wish I were one of these beings working for good, love and God. That is my deepest dream, my greatest wish. Why can’t I just be like that? I wish it were that simple.





COMMENT 14:
I got orientation, I got the focus, but I don’t know what to do with the conditioning. Conditioning is like the way you were brought up. Can you actually choose your conditioning entirely? I certainly would love to hear what you have to say about that.





COMMENT 15:
So, knowing that, how do I recognize PUL in daily life?




COMMENT 16:
OK, the merging into it and becoming it is exactly what I want, BUT how can I recognize it and become more aware of it?




COMMENT 17:
Why is doubt counter-productive?

I cannot help doubting if I believe I don’t really know something? It’s a kind of vicious circle. Also, I doubt because I try to measure (see comment 12).




COMMENT 18:
I would love to find people with similar goals, but except for this website I don’t know where to search or how to recognize them.

It would be better if I could meet such people in the flesh, than writing about it here, but due to comment 4 that you will find hereunder again it is very difficult for me.

I think I must be doing something wrong in my relationships or beliefs, but I cannot find what’s going wrong and it worries me and breaks my inner peace.

“COMMENT 4:
What would make me feel joy and excitement is for once to be surrounded by people that instead of just needing me or judging me, would actually care about (and know how to handle) what I think. I would so much like to be surrounded by people who can deal with their own emotions and help me do so with mine.

Unfortunately, each time I meet such people (=who can deal with emotions and be positive) all they seem to notice is my struggle (which they cannot identify), then, sooner or later, they turn to somebody who is more like them (because “like attracts like”).

In fact, because I am so clumsy in love and emotion(s), I reap what I sow. I think people act towards me, the way I am. They do NOT realize that I was raised in an environment that never did/does handle or talk about emotion.




COMMENT 19:
I think I still have a lot to learn. I just want to be love.




COMMENT 20:
That is really good advice. Thank you very much.




COMMENT 21:
I love the analogy. I had a dream about Buddhists on a raft. It so much speaks to me. Thank you.

Hi again Sonia. Some more in response to yours. From my own experience and what I've been taught. I can't match the way `Blink heads for the kernel of it all as I'm trying to intellectualise what is actually experiential.

One basic is that in order to progress self love is important - that we are first loving and gentle with ourselves.

Related to this is the view that it's an ongoing process that happens by largely unconscious means, and on a schedule to which we are only a contributor. This means not getting negative about ourselves because we don't match some intellectually decided but actually arbitrary standard of progress.

Striving and getting uptight only intensifies the mind, frantic (actually fear driven) thought and emotion leave no space for knowing to arise in.

The process is not intellectual. Teaching can prompt direction and method, and intellect can provide a basis to drop certain sorts of beliefs, but in the end its about creating the space needed in our minds if we are to go inwards to access and become conscious of direct intuitive knowing and peace - which are  the only way we can have stuff fall away.

Dropping fears and beliefs has an intellectual dimension, but in the end it's about getting to a deep enough level of mind to access them, and not just a matter of superficial intellectual choice. ACIM talks of it as a miracle, one brought about with higher assistance - we normally won't even be conscious of what it is that has shifted in us, only of a lightening of our being. Which is just as well  - we're usually almost wholly unconscious of most beliefs, never mind the deep archetypes that underpin them.

There are certain things we can do to train the mind and create the space needed for the deeper stuff to surface. Meditation, reflection (not obsessive thought) prayer, and spiritual education applied to clean living and to create a less stressful life environment are key enablers. There's lots of help around in this regard in the form of Buddhism, Yoga/Vedanta, ACIM and the like. The guilt and external focus inculcated by most of the major institutional religions with an attendant lack of skill in working with mind make them a bad bet - even though there's lots of wisdom buried in there.

As Blink says getting a regular meditation and spiritual reading/study practice going is the essential step, this on a proven path. Lots of varieties of spiritual centres provide instruction, although to my mind it's hard to beat Buddhism for practical teaching and meditation instruction.

Beyond this it's case of standing back to see what happens. Progress comes in lumps, gradually and not at all. Fear and delusion drop away bit by bit in their own time. I shouldn't have used the word 'drop' as that implies we control the process. Over the years you become something different.

Love is all, but unsurprisingly (given that handle) is a complicated deal. Trying to live the populist intellectualised rose tinted version always creates suffering. Wisdom in Buddhism is always paired with compassion for this reason. A balanced spiritual path creates the space, true seeing and insight for both to arise more or less spontaneously.

Don't as Buddhism says mistake the pointing finger (the teaching and the result intellectual view) for the moon. The bit that arises, and the bit that matters is essentially indescribable.

Strength to love doesn't mean making a victim of ourselves, if it's not working then we're doing something wrong or chasing a lost cause. When we respond to situations we usually go for the polarities - overdo what we've conceived as loving behaviour, or snap to the opposite of hating. There's usually a higher view in between that works better. Pema Chodron's (a Western Buddhist nun) very readable books are good on dealing with these and other sorts of difficult life situations. As is ACIM.

On the bit you didn't understand. What I meant is that getting to this middle ground involves dropping many of he views society and mistaken conclusions drawn from life experience condition us to hold, figure out (mostly intuitively) a better gameplan and try again. (or disengage if it's too much) Repeating as necessary, but equally not making victims of ourselves. Most of us out of unconscious fear (lack of space) end up repeating the same old tune time and again, we can't see the possibility of and so don't try other solutions.

To learn to live through love is the task of a lifetime, or perhaps many lifetimes. As I've tried to point to above and in my original post it's not something you can do 'consciously', at least not if that means by intellectual figuring out. There's a spiritual path you can embark on that somehow seems to result in the manifestation of an increasing level of this sort of quality in people, but you'll never be able to establish a cause and effect linkage.

Put another way. The path is mostly about stripping away the fear, delusional beliefs and other obscurations that mean we don't see what's all around us. This lack of seeing creates a life of suffering, and under this suffering we close - leaving no room for the basic goodness underneath to shine through (manifesting as qualities like compassion, wisdom, kindness, empathy, equanimity leading to seeing, knowing, intuition and so on) and in time be integrated into our way of living.

The dark clouds pull back to revel the sun (which was  always there) as Buddhists say...