Hello Everyone,

I'm kind of new to this board, I had happened across here quite a few years ago and was lucky to have a conversation with Bruce which forever changed my life.  At that time in my life, it was very easy for me to get into a trance state and most of the time I didn't even realize I was doing it.  I had then started feeling like I was being held down and feeling like I was going to die or something...I would here the loud noises in my ear and the feeling of an evil presence wanting to take me.  I began looking around online to understand what I was experiencing "sleep paralysis" but then I came across a chat room in which I was able to speak to Bruce and a few others.  I was advised to not be afraid and to tell myself as this was happening that everything was going to be ok and it's only a dream.  Well, the next time it happened I ended up coming through my body somehow and was holding on to the leg of my love who had passed away.  It was the craziest experience ever...I was able to talk to him and lay with him and just feel him again.  He didn't tell me much about where he went and then he got up and said they were coming and had to go.  I tried to stop him from running away and told him it was okay for him to go, that we would both be okay, he looked and ran anyway.  I chased him out to my front yard when I kind of got scared thinking that my landlord would think I was crazy running into the front yard in my pj's after a dead guy...lol So I went back inside and back to my body.  It was so surreal.  That experience did help me in so many ways of letting go of the attachment to him.  I know he had been hanging around very close to me, and he kind of went away after that. 

Anyway, it has been 5 years now since he passed.  I don't feel him as I once did, but I do think about him everyday.  There are events concerning his death that I don't understand.  I don't know if he took his life or if it was an accident.  I do believe in my heart it was an accidental overdose, but something doesn't seem right to me and I think there's more to the story and also feel that there is someone out there who knows what happened.  These feelings still will not leave me.  I did have a NDE of my own 13 days after his body was found, and i do believe I was shown what happened.

Since that OBE i had years ago, I really haven't been able to get myself in that state again.  I know there is more information I could find out.  Or is this something I should just drop?  But, it's 5 years and I can't let that part go yet.

I've also been remembering some conversations before his passing and it was like he knew he was going to die.   He had told me he had tried to kill himself twice in the 6 months before his passing and i did think it was a suicide when i was told of his death.  But I don't believe that.  But, I do believe he knew his time was coming.  He had been in a bad car accident a few months before he passed and he should have died in that accident  and he used to say that.  Then one day he called and told me his fish had died and that that fish represented him and that he was going to die soon.  I told him he was crazy and he was going to be fine.  But I do now think he knew.  Do we sometimes know that our death is approaching?

Is there any way that I can retrieve myself from having to know what happened or is there a way for me to get into a state again to understand it for myself?

Please help me with this.  I'd really appreciate it.

Lea

Hi Lea-
Your experience chasing him through your body is pretty much standard for those to whom some otherwise deceased entity clings. What you experienced is not unusual, except that most people don't have quite the intensity you did.

I kinda wonder who "they" were that would come and make him go off into the light. I could have used some of "them" from time to time.

Whether or not he killed himself is his business. Some of us try to gain sympathy that way, maybe get our friends involved with our internal soap opera, but in the end it amounts to a very personal decision. The usual result is that he will get recycled through the spirit world and come back to pick up more or less where he left off. There are no penalties, except those that we impose upon ourselves. However, in between times, while he's in the light, he is available, but quite possibly busy. And after being reborn he'll be substantially more distant because he'll be busy being a baby.

Now that he's gone on to whatever,  the question is what to do for yourself. If he had truly been caring and loving he'd want you to continue with your life. One way to tell that is to think how you'd feel if the situation were reversed. To go on with life doesn't mean abandoning him or the experiences that you have shared, but rather it means continuing to have new experiences so that you become all that you are able to become. This is what we're here for. Job One is You. After you have handled your own life you'll discover that you are also developing resources that you can share with others.

Life is quite possibly going to bring the two of you together again in future years and future lives. Unless both of you have your own independent experiences, neither of you will be able to make things work any bettee than they did this time. So the best advice I can give is to love genrously, treating everyone as part of you; act joyfully, just because its worth being alive,  and keep an open and curious mind, so that you'll learn a better way to be lovers next time around.

dave

Often we make agreements with others and then live through them in our next incarnation. Usually these are pacts made for the best of reasons, and quite generally they bring unforeseen consequences. The simplest thing is to accept, love those through whom things happened, and then go on with life. Those who spend their time looking at the past are partially dead, so remember Jesus words, "Let the dead bury the dead." Instead, by your life, carry the useful aspects forward and let the useless ones evaporate.

dave

Alan McDougall wrote on Dec 31^st, 2007 at 12:32am:

 
No, I did not become depressed at all after the initial OBE.  That experience I felt helped me more than anything and freed me and him in some sort of way.  It was kind of like we had been so tied together since his death.  I know his soul was still very much attached to this world and that experience was kind of like not a parting, but more of a knowing and saying that we needed to hold on to each other for this time, but now it was time to let go and he needed to experience his after-life and i needed to live my life here and that we were both going to be ok until we meet again.  It was actually very calming and a knowing experience that all was going to be ok and a thank you to each other.

I have had many lucid dreams with loved one and yes, that is easier...but it's different and I do want to experience the OBE again.  : )

Thanks Alan!

I relate being able to handle that OOBE to Bruce.    I had been going through the experience for some time, but so frightened by it and couldn't understand the noises, the pressure and the feeling that if I didn't try and fight my hardest to what was happening that I was going to die.  Bruce calmed me and assured me that I would be okay and to relax and go with it.  I trusted him and ended in the most amazing experience of my life and for that I will always be truly greatful.

Now that i think about it, I used to always listen to Cold Play when those experiences would start...maybe I should try turning them on again...lol