Hi Lea-
Your experience chasing him through your body is pretty much standard for those to whom some otherwise deceased entity clings. What you experienced is not unusual, except that most people don't have quite the intensity you did.
I kinda wonder who "they" were that would come and make him go off into the light. I could have used some of "them" from time to time.
Whether or not he killed himself is his business. Some of us try to gain sympathy that way, maybe get our friends involved with our internal soap opera, but in the end it amounts to a very personal decision. The usual result is that he will get recycled through the spirit world and come back to pick up more or less where he left off. There are no penalties, except those that we impose upon ourselves. However, in between times, while he's in the light, he is available, but quite possibly busy. And after being reborn he'll be substantially more distant because he'll be busy being a baby.
Now that he's gone on to whatever, the question is what to do for yourself. If he had truly been caring and loving he'd want you to continue with your life. One way to tell that is to think how you'd feel if the situation were reversed. To go on with life doesn't mean abandoning him or the experiences that you have shared, but rather it means continuing to have new experiences so that you become all that you are able to become. This is what we're here for. Job One is You. After you have handled your own life you'll discover that you are also developing resources that you can share with others.
Life is quite possibly going to bring the two of you together again in future years and future lives. Unless both of you have your own independent experiences, neither of you will be able to make things work any bettee than they did this time. So the best advice I can give is to love genrously, treating everyone as part of you; act joyfully, just because its worth being alive, and keep an open and curious mind, so that you'll learn a better way to be lovers next time around.
dave