Hi All,

For a couple years, I have become cynical of the afterlife. Why follow the strict narrow, boring path of being good if we just die and disappear from the face of the Earth? Who cares about others -  I should focus only on my own happiness since life is short. (Yeah, it was my dark stage in life.)

With the recent death of my grandmother, I started reevaluating life in general. First, I realized that we are all in the same boat - all going to lose our love ones to death. Every one of us will suffer the lost of someone they love dearly.

Then, I asked the question, "what is the point of suffering?". As I was driving home Monday, the  answer came to me on KOST 103.5 (a California radio station). Every year, KOST grants a wish for their listeners during the holidays. One lady called in asking that KOST help clean her house since both her husband and herself have been through surgery and cannot clean the house (parents were coming over). She had cancer while her husband lost his job after a work related accident. Of course, KOST granted her the wish. What was profound was the fact that even though she was going through a lot this year, she and her family were closer than ever. Now that is unconditional love!

In this day and age of people being selfish and hedonistic, most people would get a divorce if they went through what this family went through. Like the saying, "if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen." Well instead of getting out of the kitchen, this family stayed closer together. WOW!

So, I realize that to experience geniuine PUL, you do have to go through some sort of suffering in life. When something bad happens, we can choose to wallow in pity and treat our love ones mean or we can accept that as part of our life lessons and just hold our love ones closer to our hearts unconditionally.

Some how our society has lost THAT understanding about life. When things are great and wonderful, we are in love. But when life starts to get bumpy or rough, we start blaming each other and attacking each other. Slowly the love dies and we end up getting divorces. I was very close on this path... until I saw the light...

Alysia - I live in Los Angeles, California, not in China. (But I am Chinese, though).

Hi Linh, I will have to look up epiphany, but sounds like your in a much better place or viewpoint today so good on you!

I know we all have that choice whether to view life, as a cup half empty or half full, and you are moving to it's half full viewpoint. I'm glad you could turn yourself around so quickly like that. thanks for posting here, I'll bet a lot of folks could relate to what you told us.

love, alysia

Alysia:

Depending upon what dictionary you look at, you might not find the definition you're looking for when you look up the word epiphany. For example, the version I have at work says "a Christian festival (Jan. 6) commemorating the revealing of Jesus as the Christ to the Gentiles."

Most of the time when I've seen or heard the word used, a different meaning is intended.  For example Linh seems to mean, a revelation,  an important understanding, an insight.


LaffingRain wrote on Dec 6^th, 2007 at 6:47pm:

  I also enjoyed hearing about your epiphany Linh.   You pretty much summed up what i both think and feel is the most important thing that any person could become aware of.   Exploration of consciousness, psychism, theory, beliefs, etc. are all interesting things, but it's what you shared above that really matters and what causes us to be happy or filled with suffering at the end of the day.     It's what some spiritual teachers came to expressly teach, and mostly by pure example.

   The only thing that i would add, is that this love and caring needs to become more universal and impersonal before a person can really become truly fulfilled and happy again.   Because personal relationships..well we can't control them or other people and they can and oft do let us down at some point.   I've been let down a lot in this life, and in some very painful ways, and i realize now that this was pre set up by my Greater self (Soul, Spirit, etc.) so that i could learn detachment towards personal love and relationships, and really push me to focus more on universal and impersonal love.   Yet, i'm still married, it's just that both my wife and i try not to make each other more special to each other than others are.   We've started to cultivate an odd combination of a greater Oneness with each other, and yet at the same time more independence and detachment.

  While i'm not Buddhist, i do very much like a lot of Buddha's teachings, especially the ones addressing attachment and suffering.

Linh wrote on Dec 6^th, 2007 at 7:40pm:


yes, I'm the same alysia...
we had a crash one time and I had to build meself anew.

thanks Recoverer. I knew it was something big.

good thoughts Pulsar. it all just is. like Monroe's "there is no good, there is no bad" thats kind of what I hear you saying.