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Peace of Mind (Read 5669 times)

lost soul

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Peace of Mind
Nov 17^th, 2007 at 4:41pm

This is my first Post and getting started is very difficult. My wife died only 3 weeks ago from ‘Motor Neuron Disease’. She was a dear soul, forever wanting to help people in need (as I am). Before she died, she promised to come back and visit me, and I’m sure, if it is at all possible, she will, but to date, this hasn’t happened. She died on the Sunday 29th October and I was inconsolable, but on the Tuesday after her death, a flood of calm came over me, and it was like she was saying, “I’m OK now and I’m at Peace”, there were no blinding light, heavenly music, nor voices, just a peaceful calm that made life so much easier. Unfortunately, the ‘Peaceful Calm’ that I experienced, wasn’t permanent, and although I experience it from time to time, most of the time there’s a deep void within me. I would like to believe that there is ‘Life after Death’ and that she is now at peace, but I’m finding it extremely hard.

I’ve written this, in the hope that I can get some ‘Peace of Mind’ as I miss her a great deal

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Berserk2

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Re: Peace of Mind
Reply #1 - Nov 17^th, 2007 at 5:06pm

Dear Lost Soul,

As a pastor I have performed funerals for many families and indeed, performed another funeral yesterday for "Ting," a conservation officer who is survived by his wife Margaret and two sons. I have held the hands of some as I they passed over the threshhold of death and I whispered words of encouragement about the incredible new journey on which they were now embarking. From your remarks, it sounds like your grief process is perfectly normal. Grief normally becomes more intense in the first few weeks after the funeral service. Up to the funeral, the bereaved are still somewhat in denial and half-imagine that their loved one will show up the next day with a bright smile in his/her old routines. Margaret told me she feels compelled to leave Ting's cereal bowl and orange juice glass in its prior position for Ting's breakfast. As these tender forms of denial pass, the reality of the death sinks in and grief deepens. It is important to remind yourself that this is normal and that your outpouring of sadness is cathartic and healthy. I would advise you to seek out the support of a clergyman whose tradition is most compatible with your own.

As I have often noted, 50% of Americans report some reassuring form of contact with their loved one within the first year of his/her passing. As I'm sure you suspect, the condition of deceased loved ones varies according to their beliefs (religious or otherwise) and their level of spiritual development. To receive an ADC from your wife, the worst thing you can do is anxiously want it too badly. Instead, relex and initiate or deepen your own spiritual quest. As you open yourself to God's grace, you may well enhance your psychic attunement and thereby increase your potential as a "receiver" for an ADC (after-death contact). In my church, I am surprised if the bereaved DO NOT experience such an ADC.

Warmest regards,
Don

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LaffingRain

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Re: Peace of Mind
Reply #2 - Nov 17^th, 2007 at 5:13pm

Hi and welcome. I'm not going to use the name lost soul as what you are feeling is temporary and the calm she brought you was her love. she kept her promise to return and get through to you, yet you still feel lost. She can't do your work for you, to break thru the veil that seperates the two dimensions, which are vibating at different frequencies, yet you did pick her up, that she was there, so trust yourself! Your expectations for heavenly music, etc. is not how it works for most of us.

my husband and I made a deal also that he would inform me, or I would inform him, of our well being the first one took the dive.
He did, several times in fact. Was not at all what I expected! I was in anger at his early departure. He didn't come crooning any love to me, no calm feelings, just this: my name shouted to my inner ear to call the insurance company!
then another time he was upset I sold his razor collection for cheap!!

the last visit though he told me to stop crying, it wasn't my fault, and that my grieving process was thwarting his peace of mind over there.
However they can get through is up to them. She did get through, but you're the one struggling now, not her. You will be united again the closer you can get to the gratitude for having her in your life, the closer she can come to you in your times of need.

Just try to remember the deep void you feel is part of our natural process towards making it back home, through recognizing all you have gained by having her with you this lifetime, as I'm sure you two have been together in other lifetimes.
the deeper the void the more the stronger is the love attachment. and remember, the love experiences is what you take with you when you get to the other side, how much you helped them, that is what is important, how strong you were for her sake.

bless you, you came to the right place for comfort. I know it's hard. just take it one day at a time, things will mellow out soon.
love, alysia

Who takes away death's sting deprives life of bitterness

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ultra

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Re: Peace of Mind
Reply #3 - Nov 17^th, 2007 at 5:36pm

Hi lost soul,

First, may I offer sympathy for your loss.

Any big change like that has to represent a huge shift in energy - it is staggering - especially when losing a loved one that is indescribably close.

May I point out that you have revealed some things publicly that are important to see for yourself?

Your wife made a promise and she apparently kept it. Would you consider that the feeling of calm and peace you experienced either was her, or it was her facilitating through an intimate energetic connection with you, that feeling of Peace. She is ok then, and letting you know by sharing the experience. You got a blessing from the other side through your wife.

You were inconsolable, which is entirely understandable, so your wife who was - and still is - a dear soul wanting to help people (including and especially you!), most likely understood your need for peace above all other qualities at that time, and came and presented in that form for your benefit. Please consider that inspite of other expectations of light, voices, etc., that is was the sense of Peace, that she might have wanted for you more than anything else, and this indeed would represent a contact - especially if you felt it that way.

May I also suggest that based on what has been said, that if you continue to feel that she is alright, that she HAS contacted you, and that on some level, you do not miss her (even though you do very much) because she is present and available to you, that this will help you. This is simply extending the feeling of oneness you experienced with her on the physical plane into other realms that are divided in appearance only, and that your feeling of calm assurance that there is no separation, that you feel peace, that you are recieving from her, will help her too.

On another level, if you believe in a higher Power, it might help to ask for assistance in helping her in her journey and you in yours, for the best possible outcome according to the Will of that Power.

Again, I am so sorry for your loss.
I hope this helps.

- u

"What the soul sees and has experienced, that it knows; the rest is appearance, prejudice and opinion."

- Sri Aurobindo

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dave_a_mbs

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Re: Peace of Mind
Reply #4 - Nov 17^th, 2007 at 8:21pm

HI Lost-
My condolences - i regret your loss.

Many of us have occcasional experiences in which loved ones seem to pop in and then leave again. That they leave is not abandonment, but normal behavior. For example, my wife talks tome occasionally, but usually she is doing household things, watching her favorite NASCAR drivers win, or whatever. Were she perpetually in my face, I'd call it nagging. Spirits are equally considerate, and seem willing to make themselves known, but then they leave so that we can get on with our own lives. Else we'd never heal. People who cling too tightly cause their loved ones to haunt them by attaching as entities, so that both of them get frozen in time, and neither can progress properly. This seems most common with mothers, because of our dependence upon them. That is pathological. In your case, your wife's immediate material tasks have been completed, and I'm sure that you would prefer that she continue with her next activities, just as she would prefer that you too complete your work here. That's no different from your sitting in the front room to read the news while she fixed dinner in the kitchen in prior years. It just looks different, and admittedly, it's difficult to kiss a ghost.

From the light, your wife has access to you all the time, and will be there when you pass over as well. Life seems to be like walking acoss a meadow where there are lots of criss-crossing cow paths. We meet from time to time, then our paths part, and then come back together again etc. Death is simply the door to the other half of life. From her side, she can swing the door both ways, while we can't budge it from our side. So if you look for her with love, or occasionally call for her, the chances are that she'll be back to say "Hello" from time to time.

I pray that you will find peace as you move onward.

dave

life is too short to drink sour wine

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roger prettyman

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Re: Peace of Mind
Reply #5 - Nov 18^th, 2007 at 7:13am

Dear Lost Soul,

I`m sorry to hear about the loss of your wife. I know exactly where you`re coming from as I lost my wife to cancer some four years ago. We had been married just short of 41 years and the initial emptiness was almost unbearable.
Don has written some really lovely words above, which you should read and read again.
For my own part, the loss of my wife led me to this site because following her passing over, especially during the first eight months or so, many things happened which I could not just put down to coincidences - they were contacts from her in the Afterlife. I have since become a very spiritual person and totally believe our soul carries on after we leave the physical world behind. Further contacts are forthcoming but with much less frequency.

I will relate the latest ADC which occurred in August. On the very night my elder grand-daughter phoned me to tell me she had passed 9 GCSE`s I had a dream in which my parents, my late wife`s and my wife were having a party. I asked what was going on and her dad said to me, "We`re having a party to celebrate Louisa passing her GCSE`s". My wife then came to me and just said, "Tell Louisa I love her". I said I would.
However, when I saw my grand-daughter I forgot to pass the message on.
A week or so later I was working at my computer, thinking about my wife and that I had forgotten to pass her message on. It was a very warm, windless day and I had vertical blinds closed over the open sliding patio door. Some clouds came over to block the sun so I got up, opened the blinds to pull the patio door closed when, at that very moment, a pure white, fluffy feather came gently drifting down from head height and landed on a jade plant (which my wife loved) which stood in a corner of the patio.
Coincidence? - I certainly think not! An ADC to remind me to pass her message on.

Needless to say, my grand-daughter was given the message together with the feather which she now treasures.

As Don says, don`t try to force a contact with your late wife. Patience will reward you ultimately.

roger

The past is history, the future is a mystery.&&Today is a gift, that`s why it`s called the present.&&Let yourself enjoy today. It will never come again.&&&&&&Butterfly.

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betson

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Re: Peace of Mind
Reply #6 - Nov 19^th, 2007 at 11:39am

Greetings,

Thank you for sharing your experience while you are even still in mourning. Every one who reads your post will benefit from your seeking answers to your recent spiritual experiences.

From experience gained from sharing a variety of afterlife experiences, it shows as natural that her approach to you would be calming. Leaving out those other effects shows caring for your true spirit. Since our Spirits exist through Love, losing someone who we share so much love with has to be difficult. But she will find ways to bring you these loving reminders and they will help you heal.

Bets

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Shakespeare

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Rondele

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Re: Peace of Mind
Reply #7 - Nov 19^th, 2007 at 12:14pm

Lost Soul-

Please keep Don's message uppermost in your mind right now. Not only is he a pastor, he also has a great deal of experience in terms of afterlife issues.

The only thing I can seriously urge you NOT to do is to contact a medium or psychic in attempts to communicate with your wife. I tried doing that several times after my dad died and I can tell you that there are lots of unscrupulous characters out there who take advantage of grieving people. They know you will latch onto almost anything they tell you as a legitimate message from your wife.

I realize there is nothing more you want right now is reassurance that she is ok. That reassurance will come in its own way and on its own terms. The more you can let go of your grief and take on an attitude of quiet confidence that all is well, the greater the chances that she will get through to you.

I remember a quote I read a long time ago, "Life is unfolding exactly as it should." Trust in that and you will find peace.

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lost soul

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Re: Peace of Mind
Reply #8 - Nov 26^th, 2007 at 8:30pm

I thank you all for your kind words of encouragement, but I still can’t get much relief from my feelings of grief. I’m at the point, that I don’t want to do anything, go anywhere, and most of the time, I can’t see any point in existing. The void within me is most of the time unbearable. I can’t say much more, as I only feel hopelessness. Even as I write this Post, I feel completely empty.

As ‘Rondele’ advised, I would NEVER contemplate seeking help from a Psychic, nor Medium, as I know that there are MANY unscrupulous individuals waiting to pounce on a person’s vulnerability, for the sake of a ‘Buck’

Thanks again

Gerry

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blink

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Re: Peace of Mind
Reply #9 - Nov 27^th, 2007 at 3:49pm

I'm sorry for your loss, and for your continuing pain, Gerry. Perhaps there is some way to honor your memories during this time, some kind of ritual you can do for a while, such as lighting a candle, or keeping fresh flowers in a place which has meaning for you.

I know these are small things. And sometimes the small things are all we have, for the time being, while we wait.

love, blink

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LaffingRain

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Re: Peace of Mind
Reply #10 - Nov 27^th, 2007 at 5:50pm

I think that's a good idea Blink. I was trying to think how to help Gerry deal with it and your suggestion sounds good idea. all I could think of is my usual..send her PUL or gratitude but the idea of the ritual, like an objective thing to do sounds like offering one's self comfort. seems so hard to do; I remember the tremendous emotions when my hubby left, its like falling into a hole with no bottom. I can still feel it, like its a part of me, this deep hole. Gerry, you have had a visit with her no doubt, she won't be able to leave you there I'm sure she will return.

love, alysia

Who takes away death's sting deprives life of bitterness

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lost soul

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Re: Peace of Mind
Reply #11 - Nov 27^th, 2007 at 6:32pm

Quote:

remember the tremendous emotions when my hubby left, its like falling into a hole with no bottom. I can still feel it, like its a part of me, this deep hole. Gerry,

Is it still with you Alysia? I hope not, as I would hate to think that it'll never get better. How long ago did your husband pass? And how long did it take for the pain to lessen?

I know that we're all different, but we all hurt and care, otherwise we wouldn't be on this Forum. I do hope that she visits me from time to time, and reassures me that she is happy and without pain. I know that, if she is able too, she will make contact with me, but maybe I'm just a little too impatient.

Bless you all

Gerry

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LaffingRain

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Re: Peace of Mind
Reply #12 - Nov 28^th, 2007 at 6:16am

lost soul wrote on Nov 27^th, 2007 at 6:32pm:

Quote:

remember the tremendous emotions when my hubby left, its like falling into a hole with no bottom. I can still feel it, like its a part of me, this deep hole. Gerry,

Is it still with you Alysia?
____

no sweetie. the mourning type pain is gone. Some say it takes a year. what I meant is I can tune into that time of grief, if I want, and I feel the same feelings, but only if I choose to feel and remember. mostly it was for me to pull myself together, the learning of how to do that. Mike came to me with a guide beside him to touch my heart and begin the healing. I can still feel that moment because thats when I begin sliding down the hole and didn't care that I was sliding down into blackness. Mike said smile. crazy guy. such a short vocabulary and here I was so different. a writer. when u love somebody you want to please them. so I smiled to please him, not because I knew how to do that.
he was satisfied with the effort on my part. He said he suffered to look upon my suffering as he was knowing he left life early without knowing I would suffer this way. so he took responsibility for what he had caused, then this allowed me to forgive him for leaving so early; the kids weren't grown yet for one thing. for another, I wanted him to try harder to adapt to life here. he didn't like it here. I don't blame him for that.

I think experiencing grief does something for us in the long run if we can realize how we all seem to lose someone and go through it..and some of us are luckier, or its predestined to have afterlife communications which help so much. for now, she sees your thoughts and feelings and all your memories. she may try to talk to you through the memories. you may see a butterfly thats out of place, it will be her. you may see a piece of her jewelry laying out in the open, where it wasn't before.
these are some of the ways they can communicate with us.

u may be expectant to get another sign. u will probably be in a relaxed or distracted mood when she is able to get through, such as the dreamscape, your barriars are down then. cultivate a little hope. It is difficult for her to communicate though, if there is like a dark cloud around your head while you are feeling the extreme of it.
they appear not to suffer as much as us on the other side, as the overview is more accessible to them. Mike appears to be enjoying himself by serving as a helper on the other side, this appears as an option for many over there. he is also developing himself further in regards to self expression.

make her proud of you by being strong..she will pick up on it right away, I promise, thats how it works. u have been blessed to know this love. it does not die with the body.

hope we helped a little..let us know if you get more messages.

I hope not, as I would hate to think that it'll never get better. How long ago did your husband pass? And how long did it take for the pain to lessen?

I know that we're all different, but we all hurt and care, otherwise we wouldn't be on this Forum. I do hope that she visits me from time to time, and reassures me that she is happy and without pain. I know that, if she is able too, she will make contact with me, but maybe I'm just a little too impatient.

Bless you all

Gerry

Who takes away death's sting deprives life of bitterness

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roger prettyman Full Member Offline Afterlife Knowledge Member Posts: 195 Bedford, U.K. Gender:	Re: Peace of Mind Reply #13 - Nov 28^th, 2007 at 9:37am I believe you never get over the loss of a loved one, you just learn how to live with it better. roger
Back to top	The past is history, the future is a mystery.&&Today is a gift, that`s why it`s called the present.&&Let yourself enjoy today. It will never come again.&&&&&&Butterfly. IP Logged

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