I didn't see this until today, hence my late response.
EternalEssence wrote on Oct 27th, 2007 at 2:19pm:Justin,
With respect, I see nothing different in the words you write here as being any different in what you insinuate about Alysia, for if you know her as well as you state she knows you, then you are doing nothing but perpetrating the same thing you accuse her of. I agree with the poster who suggested leaving tea cups on another thread. If you don't like tea, try choclate.
Hi E.E.,
If you agreed with that other poster regarding the tea thread, then why did you not p.m. this, instead of keeping the issue alive by publicly and directly responding to me on her thread when i hadn't replied to
you at all to begin with?
Since you brought it up, I will try to respond and explain as clear as I can. To me, there is a subtle, but also world of difference between labeling someone in a fixed manner or pointing out something you perceive to be as a nonconstructive temporary action/behavior.
I’ll give a hypothetical example: Someone steals something from someone; a friend sees this and says, “hey, why would you do something like that, that’s not good for either you or them. I don’t agree with stealing, stealing isn’t constructive”. Another person looks on this temporal act (perhaps the one who is having their stuff stolen), and says something like this, “You are a thief because you stole that. You got some major issues, though you also have some good potential too. You need to stop being a thief.”
Notice how the first is speaking more on the temporal and more specific incident and indicating to the other person that this is not a constructive way of treating others as judged by that particular and temporary incident (or perhaps if they witnessed this a few other times, referring to those incidences too), but the other attaches a fixed label to the other person…bang, you’ve been stamped on the forehead, and the person doing the stamping apparently thinks they are all knowing about you and your issues, who you as a person are deep in your core. And this is only something an Elder could know.
I’ve done the latter part plenty, with plenty of people in my life, and more than a couple of years ago, did that with Alysia as well. It was completely non constructive and I don’t wish to do that anymore for my sake or hers. When I did it too her before, I was reacting out of emotional hurt/anger and uncenteredness. Judging/labeling always comes from emotional uncenternedness and also oft out of emotional hurt.
I was neither emotionally hurt/angry, nor uncentered when I wrote those recent replies to her. However, I saw her labeling and over generalizing another, and after speaking out against that kind of act and temporary way of being, I also in turn got labeled in a more fixed and over generalized manner. I never said to Alysia though, that she was a labeler, though I pointed out when it seemed to me that she was labeling others in a more ultimate and fixed sense. Do I need to quote all the specific things she said to others? I thought it was rather obvious at the time.
It was rather clear to me, that Alysia responded to the original situation i.e. me speaking up for Albert and not labeling anyone in a fixed or judgmental manner (as well as not thinking one was omniscient about another and their issues) in an emotionally reactive manner. Why was that clear, cause she went from labeling Albert to then labeling me, and she has continued this on this thread, though rather subtly and I do believe she was also consciously trying to be positive towards me as well (unconsciously though, may be a different matter). It’s also clear because, before this situation but recently it seemed like Alysia was only saying positive things about or towards me, but then all of a sudden I’m an immature person, undeveloped healer, and I’m not using my gifts
. And btw, I know I can and do have my immature moments like most everyone else, but I also don’t feel I’m basically an “immature” person which is what Alysia said and more than implied. Because you don’t see all the above, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, does it?
Now if Alysia had said something like this to or about me, “hey, I think you were temporarily acting in a negative manner in relation to me, and being too critical or faultfinding, etc when you said those things. That was an immature action, etc” I wouldn’t have even responded to this thread to begin with, again it was the more fixed labeling that was happening that I was trying to point out to her. Not just fixed labeling, but such HUGE and ULTIMATE GENERALIZATIONS about my person, like “Justin, you got a gift for humanity, but you’re not giving it.” Or, “you are a healer, but undeveloped” I mean, this kind of stuff to me, indicates that she is temporarily coming from quite the high horse in talking about another. I didn’t realize that she was an actualized master yet and supposedly knew all about me, my life, and my heart. Who does she think she is, making such huge and ultimate generalizations about another? This was also done in relation to Albert, and
neither of us did this in return to her. Who then is acting in a more immature manner?
Quote:I appreciate your input, but prefer to follow my own path than be led down yours.
E.
I didn’t realize I was trying to personally make you follow my path. This is an I-net forum where people talk about their experiences, beliefs, and opinions. As far as I’m aware, this is one of the few times in the whole time I’ve been here, that I even have directly responded to you or your posts. But geewiz, I’m holding a gun to your head and trying to force you to follow down my own path. Don’t you have the freewill to read, not read, listen too, not listen to, accept or reject whatever it is that i talk about as my truth? In the last couple of years or so, I haven’t even been on this site all that much anyways, relatively speaking, certainly much less than many of the regular posters here.
Btw, I’m curious, and if you don’t mind sharing, were you on Linn’s site when I was, and what was your name there? I somehow feel this might be pertinent to this situation for some reason, though I’m not sure exactly how and I know I may be totally off.
Either way, thank you for your reply, it has presented a good opportunity to delineate holistically the subtle but important differences between judging/labeling another, and constructive criticism. As Albert said about his experiences with his guides, and them occasionally pointing out faults or when he is erring, so haven't mine and i think i'm a better person for listening to it. And i've had physical people do the same with me, and i eventually benefited from it, though i never liked it when i was hearing it with either the nonphys. guides or some of the people i've interacted with.
To me, the whole of love encompasses more than just always saying completely positive words about another or their actions/behaviors. And when i did say critical things to Alysia about that, i also told her about the positive things that i respect and admire.
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