Self Retrievals with help from a living person
part one

  Ta da! This person I won’t use his name, don’t feel comfortable but he comes to this board sometimes and he’s a part of this soul group,working behind the scenes for our benefit. what you would call a CW worker,the term found in Monroe’s books. I don’t know what his reward is for doing this but he does not get a regular paycheck for it, you can bet on that.if he chooses to back me up for what I write here then I offer a bit of evidence for the skeptics out there to relish perhaps. if evidence is not accepted, then I write this for my own benefit and because I’m grateful to him for the change in me, and I’m grateful to all who share here and wave at me in passing even. I include the skeptics here in our group because we need skeptics to spur us on and they know what their role is. We must not grow complacent during this shift and that is their role. I thought I knew we needed each other but I guess my personality didn’t. Now I do know it for sure, and that’s what the change in me is basically about. I thought I could work on myself without going for outside help. after all, phychologists and healers I find here and there just appear as fools to me if I cannot percieve that they are also of a spiritual bent and too quick with their labelizing of me and others. so the alternative is independence and I have been that way to my detriment to the extent of withdrawal from life, except for this board.
however, for all newcomers here we talk a lot about retrievals and I got myself on this path 4 years ago, although the first retrieval was done in the 80’s. as I continued the retrievals turned into self retrievals swiftly to my confusion. and it’s true, if you subscribe to our oneness, then perhaps a great deal of the retrievals are none other than my own selves. homeless until I bring them home. but not all of them are self creations of mine. I know that too, and they could be connected to me in ways I don’t understand yet, perhaps in a soul grouping way, in which there may be thousands to bring home. to accept and bring back into love.
It was 9 months ago I met, B, I’ll call him,in dream state of intensity where he broke my door open which was a flimsy lock on it and showed me how withdrawn I really am in symbology. later, in emails he tells me I had asked for help in writing my book on a level I had no idea I asked for help, despite I know I needed help.. so in the dream (I have a lot of dreams that come true up to 18 months ahead of actualization; this more common than u think during the shift) so B breaks through like Mr. Tornado and scares me. something tells me to sit down and B plops himself in chair also. this funny. so what he is being portrayed as is a bandleader and he brought his band members with him, and they sit down. I think, well, not going to get rid of this one very easy, so I study him, feeling like it’s not right to bust through door like that but I’m curious. He’s not talking so I finally ask “why me?” now this question is about my music which I gave up playing in the year 1999, and that musical self is the one about to be retrieved. didn’t even know she should be retrieved, as after all I’m ok with my life, don’t want the hassels of the musical curcuit..pain you know where. so in answer to question Why Me? B says only “because you got class.” and I stare at him as I’m wondering what he means. last time somebody mention the word class was an old boyfriend who threw up in my face he had pure blueblood running in his veins while I come from Slovakia slave race mixed with russion and whatever...therefore I have no class. so class does not compute and I stare at B with incredibility and laugh at him, sort of smirk really, then he makes a funny sound of exasperation like a kid would because he don’t have verbalization for what he’s doing here. it’s like I have the words, he has spirit and drive behind him, what I lack. so, I say only to him, ok, let’s take the show on the road, let’s do it. fade out of scene. shortly before I meet B in an email we have one more set up dream meeting. he’s smiling, good will oozing from him and pure PUL and I fall into his arms like a limp toad wondering why because I didn’t bring back memory of a word he said. just the feelings too intense to not

: Thanks for this description of your adventure in self-retrieval. I have to reread it a couple of times still but the picture of needing to retrieve little scattered bits of ones self was interesting. It is ...sometimes I work to prove I have "moved on" and sometimes one has to just keep moving! but that doesn't really mean pieces aren't left scattered around.

: Sometimes for me it is the forgiveness concept that gets in the way. I recently heard part of a radio interview with Darrel Scott, whose daughter Rachel died at Columbine, and he gave a solid definition that distinguishes between forgiveness (letting go) and pardon, which are not equivalent. That's one of my blocks. I'm not into the Christian literature but I just might read his book...If I do, wonder what I'll dream.

: Happy singing.

thanks, singing is good I suppose! interesting concept between the idea of pardoning someone and forgiving them. seems like pardoning is another level, like as in "letting someone pass by"?

it's almost sounds like the lost art of being polite to one another...hmmm. what a concept. well, thanks for the idea. so much to read out there and so little time!
love, alysia