Nighmare2Spooky,

It appears that I’ve set up a pattern where I place my intention Saturday night to go to the crystal, as I did again last night, but whined up with a nightmare.  I don’t want to go into it here and it did end with me zooming a way on a motorcycle with my mother and a baby to safety but why am I into this pattern of dealing with unresolved issues when I just want to relax and get the feel of TMI grounds?  It’s probably because it’s the only night of the week that I’m either not decompressing from work or preparing for it.  I agree with you that the best way to do mind travel is fully dressed, on my back, in my bed but I’ve also found that I can do it when I very tired.  That was the setting when I did my first retrieval using Bruce’s CD.  But most of the time, I’m so tired that I try to kill two birds with one stone, by getting the sleep I need while doing the exercise. 

But I do value these so called nightmares too because they are telling me something about what might be making me hesitant to let go and just do the action, how I’m handling perceived obstacles, and also, I think, what issues are ready for me to come to terms with now that I have more insight/experience that my have caused some splitting off of within aside from the clues regarding how I’m perceiving my work situation.  I’m still undecided whether it was an aspect of myself or of another individual but either way he was familiar, he was more afraid than I, and I was able to reassure him so that he could then dissipate. Or maybe you sense something that I’m not aware of.  I have many things to ponder but trust that eventually I’ll get some insight into what these guideposts are all about. 

Thanks for the tip to become aware that I’m there even though my body is elsewhere and as a result I will remember more clearly.  It’s funny how when I did OBE exercises a number of years ago, I remember being high over the house, or more recently floating over walks or roads but never did have a realization that my actually body was still in bed.  Maybe I was afraid to look so that’s why I think you’re on to something when you suggest I realize that my body is home.  The cruise with my husband came as some sort of surprise gift but when we left our stateroom and went through the main doors, there were these security checkpoints side by side that we had to show proper ID before we could enter the main areas of the ship, to access the dining rooms, living rooms, etc. It was that feeling of disappointment that came over me because for me, Homeland Security represents a bureaucracy that is set up to inhibit free flow of individuals and deprive persons of their rights.  Although, it is true that I enjoy my home and after working a full week really don’t want to go anywhere and do have trouble taking the time to do the exercises on the tapes.  I’d rather putter, check out the board, do some cooking or shopping, sitting and think and reading, and go to bed by 8pm.  When I lie down or do the exercises, I tend to fear that my weekend will pass too quickly without me noticing it.  I wonder if that’s what this pattern of nightmares is all about before I can enjoy the crystal, PE and you guys, the library, etc.

It appears that I have to deal with unresolved issues within myself and see how I handle them.  It reminds me of training exercises.  What a bore but hey I’m game.  What ever it takes as long as I get there.  If that’s all true so far I’ve dealt with 1) my ethric/body being held back by force but let the other know that what I was doing was ok and not to be feared, 2) A larger more organized operation attempting to hold me back for getting where I desired to go and I impatiently breezed through that attempt but then it was followed by an annoying distraction which I reacted by getting annoyed enough to show I had no ulterior motives or anything to hid by exposing myself and got a unexpected outcome of admiration. 3) Became a victim of molestation (being coherence into something without my permission and feeling helpless) in a familiar house of my past…long story but actually it was my mother who was being seduced back in 1958 when I was still innocent but my reaction now was to get my mother to start the car (the car was actually in a room of the bedroom behind a curtain) and bring the baby? While I drove it through the house to escape while being pursued and then when on the road, it turned into a wonderful slim black motorcycle, which rode like the wind.  I felt exhilarated! 

It reminds me of one of Joseph Campbell’s hero’s journey adventures.  So maybe these are the sorts of things I’ve had to conquer before I can get the chalice (to TMI and beyond) and maybe I’m doing what Lucy originally suggested after I reported the first in my trilogy of nightmares.

I wonder. Gotta’ go, didn’t sleep well at all last night. 

Jean