Dear all,

This is only an introduction to the topic exposing you my issue. This time, I am not seeking your attention as I did in part 1, 2, 3 and 4. I think I was indeed searching outside myself, something that I can only find inside myself.

During my search, I came across a bouddhist saying, that says : The difference between a good or a bad action does not lie in the intention, but in the consequence. So if my intentions are good, if I am good, if I give Pure Unconditional Love, but if I do something with bad consequences or do nothing at all when I see something harmful happening, shouldn’t I be alarmed. Should I simply forgive myself and move on to the next level?

For the moment, I am thinking of these soul and orb-issues. While I think of that, I neglect others things, even people around me who might need my attention, because maybe they do not know better about some matters.

Hereunder, I wrote you an example of a reasoning I made concerning good, charity and Jesus-Christ.

Just tell me what you think.

With love,

Wanderer



Dear all,

If I moved you and pushed you all to read me, it is because I especially want to move my soul from within. I want to do it in respect of your site and you, but I will no longer judge your approval according to the amount of attention you give me.

I need you to take a closer look at me, at the issue. I do not want to reach whatever result I have to reach in this life with a hemi-sync. I want to reach it in the physical world, the old-fashioned way, because if I came down here physically it is to be in the physical world and to live a physical life, consciously. I am willing to learn with the hemi-sync. I wish to learn how to improve my physical life through my mental state. But I am unwilling to use it as an escape for my physical problems or as a tool to sooth my flat or hurt emotional life.

You do not need to use a hemi-sync to see my soul. If you want to see it, just ask me and I will show you, because the only limits I have are those I set for myself and I do not have this limits (as long as I do not hurt anyone physically or emotionally at least).

Now I will get to the point, which I believe is close to the core of my issue. I will build my reasoning down here:

I always wanted to help people. My problem is not my goal, because I know my goal is right.

The problem is this:

My father always did his very best to help as much people as possible. He would always give anyone his chance, but his thrust was broken many times. He helped people that took advantage of him, he got misused and in the end he was taken for granted by many. They did not look at him anymore and they even did not show him any respect anymore. Everybody said they loved him, but physically/practically he was alone when he needed somebody.

From what I saw I came to the conclusion that if you help people you might have a heavy price to pay, you might have nothing but trouble. I mean, look at what I saw: A good man with the best intentions is treated like nothing, left broken, stolen from, etc. Is it necessary to go through all that suffering? I funded that reasoning on the fact that Jesus-Christ had been crucified while all he wanted was to help humanity. Clearly there are things more important in this world than life and happiness or pure love and these things win, because when the person physically died under those circumstances, what has won in this physical world: the love or the money/the corruption of the soul?

If you want to be good in the physical world, clearly you should protect yourself (I will come back later on this), because the physical world is not just a movie. In the non-physical world, implications such as money, sickness or death disappear if you work at your mental state. But here, in the physical world, the CONSEQUENCES are more real and your mental state cannot erase everything. On earth, you cannot erase the fact you need to eat or go to the bathroom, even if it would save you money or time.

Which I believe is a second reason why we are here: to see the consequences of our actions. In the non-physical world, you might erase these consequences immediately with love or other, which gives such a feeling of safety and fear for safety is one of the biggest fears=obstacles. But HERE you are obliged to face the consequences of actions and this means responsibility.

So, I concluded that, in helping others I should first love them, because the greatest disease of our time as Princess Diana said: “is the lack of love (from others and yourself)”. But if you give real love, the action of love must follow (I do not know much about this, but a thought without an action means there is an obstacle/fear in between the thought and the action), which means to me that pure love, means pure surrendering what you are or what you have for the general well-being and in that gesture you have to stop being afraid, you have to thrust others and this thrust means you give up the protection of yourself.

This is why love and charity are my biggest fears. I wanted to do charity and love more and better, to face the problem in a way, but I keep thinking of the consequences.

I decided I would help people anyway, even before I found this site. I found a course which would teach me how to help people better, because I still want to help others, but I feel guilty. I feel guilty because when I do charity I do it only to confront myself with my fear and not out of pure love for others. In the end, I would do charity for myself, selfishly, and I think it shines through my actions that it is not love real or pure enough. There is something selfish and careless about my attitude that I do not like. This is not who I want to be.

I even started doubting my call. Maybe I am just trying to prove to myself that I am worth something. Maybe I just want to overcome this fear, just to go over to something else, but it will take me years to find out and I am not sure there is a way back if I came to find out I was wrong to do charity. I am not sure what way I want to help people. I think I would like to overcome all fears to be as helpful and loving as possible in the physical world, but it is hard.

I really think I am close now, but I find I am strangely struggling and being insecure about matters that I feel should never be a problem.

I am looking forward to hearing from you all.

With love,

Wanderer

Hello Wanderer,
I guess I am not a big helper, I'm just doing things like helping old ladies in the mart, cheer people up and such things. But even when doing these little things I feel always joy when I see people smiling as I could be a little help for them. So, this is selfish, doing it probably for my own joy. But feeling good when seeing other people feeling good is ok I think. It's a kind of shared feeling. So I guess the best would be for you is to look for something YOU feel good with at first (sorry for not telling you HOW to do). To be of service but going down by this is not a solution. I am for balance. Helping others but don't do what's too much for you. To sacrifice oneself for others is only the right thing when someone is really shure that this is the right thing to do. If not, don't do it. That's my way. Maybe too simple.
Hope you find some joy,
spooky