sorry this is so long. it's from my book and i couldn't figure out how to post a link to it as I'm used to just attaching files method. wheres Herb? he could show me! love, alysia
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ROADSIGN FOURTEEN
What Happened To My Arms & Legs?

   Not long after Mike’s passing I was still delving into the mysteries of out of body experiences, but not really getting beyond the point of the vibrational sensations at which point I would awaken thinking shucks, I almost “went” somewhere, so there must be something wrong with me, that I didn’t. You don’t want to get into the mindset that there must be something wrong with you. It’s way too common to awaken at the supposed moment of departure, and if something is a commonality in the human experience, we need to look at that. You’re simply getting primed up for something to follow this, DP said. Sit tight, the movie will start soon enough. Development has to do with patience, persistence and meditation on the things that really matter. For instance, one thing that really matters is figuring out who you are, what you are or why you are and of course what it is you think you might want to happen, see, explore, participate in or observe. Although DP said expectations don’t always happen exactly as we think they should, so LR had to figure on surprises in the movie. Figuring out these questions pretty much takes care of psychic development without having to worry about that part of it. Inducing the vibrations for separation from the body was no problem for LR. All I had to do was think on it a couple of days intently. In looking back it becomes relevant I had no real objective besides the exciting thought of separating from the body. A couple of times I thought I’d try to make it to the kitchen or through the wall..but deep down, that didn’t get me excited one bit so I went nowhere. That would explain why I would either awaken suddenly after the vibrations had begun, or drift off to sleep. I had no strong motivation to cruise the astral. I wanted a higher knowledge.
   As far as this type of development is concerned it began to take a backseat to the seeking of this higher knowledge. If I wished to go anywhere, it would be beyond the astral plane which was looking a lot like the earth plane, only with no solidity of the kind I was used to. I concluded the vibrations that came which seemed subjective, but really weren’t, were my way of teasing myself  and preparing self for greater future adventures, and getting my energy centers vibrating, which are called chakras. The evidence that I was moving beyond astral projection  was that steadily the vibrations became not quite so spectacular, and not fearful as in the beginnings, but instead became familiar and acceptable. Just knowing I could, if I wanted to, be free from the body was what I needed to know the most. This roadsign put an end to my desire to astral travel as an objective, once and for all, and that is neither a good nor bad supposition. I wanted a different kind of knowledge after this experience.
   I had an idea we all went OBE at night, just that some of us could  and would  remember doing it. Much later I had supporting evidence that this was true. Those of us who didn’t remember, there had to be a reason. I concluded that perhaps if we knew what we were up to on other levels, it might confuse us in our waking conscious life. After all, we had jobs to maintain and relationships and the like. Were we to expand our minds to include other realities and realms and dimensions too speedily, we might be deterred from our intentional experiences here and become ungrounded in that. For myself, I must have chosen a gentle awakening with a chance to assimilate and ground myself in between each roadsign, because when it was just too much for me, the protective barrier of forgetting would cover me. I would complain in these terms; “I just don’t know where to put this information right now, but it happened, this I know.”  Also relevant in looking back I hadn’t yet developed the art of using the imagination to propel me forward, nor considered the imagination was more than I thought it could be. More on that later. I decided to just enjoy the sensations when and if they came. It was frustrating that my will was not enabling me to travel the astral worlds with total recall but I couldn’t worry about it as frustration itself was appearing as the biggest barrier.
Are We Balls of Light?
  Thinking that I always experimented flat on my back at bedtime, I wanted to try something different. I’d do it wide awake and sitting up.
   Recalling a meditation technique and starting with the toes on up to the head I would relax every muscle I could mentally find in my physical body. By the time I’d reached the facial muscles, I decided if nothing had happened, I’d begin all over again, committing myself to a 20 minute period so I wouldn’t get too frustrated at the amount of time-wasting I might be doing. I’d relaxed everything and found I was still in my body, so I did begin again and felt my mind begin to get still. I knew the average concentration span was said to be two minutes. If I could remain centered for 2 minutes or more I might be successful. I remember glancing at the clock and I’d been attempting to still my thoughts for 15 minutes. Another 5 minutes of discipline and I’d try again another day. This thought of 5 more minutes of effort tended to relax me even more. But it occurred to me I didn’t yet have a destination. Then I thought I’ll visit someone in the physical. My brother. I hadn’t seen him for years and it might be fun to pop up and give him a mild fright for a moment. Just a prank. Ever since I was a little kid, I’d been attempting to prove something to him. Maybe I just wanted his approval.
  Just before calling it quits I felt something really subtle going on between my eyes. I felt and heard, a subtle noise like something had opened. DP reminded me to stay calm and not get too elated or I’d blow it. Whatever had opened, perhaps an energy vortex of the chakra, it had allowed some energy to project forward. As I entered this current I had body form and found myself walking down a country road surrounded by trees, even though I did not live in this sort of locale, thinking “well here I am, I finally did it!.” My mind felt like it was projecting itself on film, while a location within the brain maintained a sense of being in two places; as a being within the body, but also on the screen. Feeling exhilarated, but taking DP’s advice, to not get too excited, I was on the move traveling to California. What street to take? Pacific Coast Highway came to mind. I was desiring swifter movement and running turned into flying and as I flew I watched in astonishment as my arms and legs one by one disappeared until I viewed myself as simply an orb of light which was able to travel at much greater speed than the body form I had begun with, to my growing delight. At first though, I asked DP if it was ok not to have my body parts; the answer was to just flow with it to see what would happen.
   I saw the ocean and cliff rocks of Pacific Coast Highway and experienced further joy at the realness of the scene. As I continued down this highway I wondered briefly if any physical folk would be able to see me but none did although I could see them. I pondered on my brother’s address. I did not have it. I knew I could find him by just thinking about him. While my movement slowed considerably with the action of reassessing my destination I wondered what my brother’s  reaction would be to discover my apparition in his room. I knew then that “I” was thought, and that thought had movement. Having “I am” consciousness as a thought did not seem strange, but I was still, shall we say, in high spirits. DP told me as intuition, my brother was not ready to receive me. He might think I had died. I didn’t want to chance a misunderstanding and in view of the fact that we had not spoken for years, I concluded he would not enjoy my little prank as much as I would.  It was interesting to note I could think in a logical manner while zipping along lucidly as an orb on the highway. I also noted I did not really miss having arms and legs.
   To be able to think and make decisions, to change my mind while being this orb was interesting, and none of this was the same as the dream state, as this conscious projection was more real than my dream state. With not too much disappointment to deal with at the change in plans, I thought to return to the body but first I wanted to try something. I knew I had no weight as this orb thing and I loved the freedom from gravity.  I looked like a ball, why not act like one? I then rolled down the cliff side, gently bobbing off the jagged rocks, each movement producing a pleasant sensation of rolling and bouncing. I could hear the ocean tides and seagulls. I was aware of  cars on the highway. I had vision in back, in front and from all angles. I traveled about the height of my body as this orb above the ground. After playing around I immediately came back to the body entering through the little space between the eyes.
  I just sat there for a moment a little shocked that I had succeeded beyond my expectations. How had I succeeded after trying for so long? I concluded perhaps it was the relaxation technique, or the clock watching. I would not let myself get overly-determined and run past the 20 minutes. I had not lost consciousness in the least. I was glad that I had listened to a greater wisdom about popping up in my brother’s room. I did not want to cause worry to anyone in any way. Something told me if I were to experience this freedom from the body I would have to establish higher motives than just proving something to someone for my own kicks. And I did not know I was so playful that I would impulsively roll down a cliff as a child might. The playfulness told me something about my spirit. That I should keep in touch with that aspect as life was not as serious as I had been making it to be. I had to admit I hadn’t had that much fun in quite a while.
   Later I concluded this was a mental body projection and not astral traveling, as becoming an orb was to leave the astral body, a duplicate form of the physical body, behind. The astral body I was taught is the emotional body or if you wish, the desire body. I was dropping the desire to have a destination per the guidance of DP’s higher wisdom. I had desired swifter movement and I concluded that traveling via the mental body, which was now looking like an orb form, would provide that greater swiftness than would taking the body form with me. I was to think about this orb identity for quite some time to come. An orb has no face on it, no lips, nose, eyebrows, etc. yet I had vision and all my other senses. I probably had color as well, whatever the color of curiosity and playfulness is. Check out your spirit unadorned with belief systems and personality traits. It’s totally free.

Mike, I'm glad u told me the file disappeared as I was congratulating myself on my technical ability for even being able to send it..my computer on this end lied to me and said all was well. oh well.
this was not the first projection, wetting the bed was..lol. there must be a lot of children bedwetters out there with a story to tell. would welcome their tales and how "real" it seemed here.

however this was the first objective outing without going to sleep first. I believe I was in my 40's at this time. you are I believe only in your 30's so you are actually at a place where you can achieve much better results than I could in my 30's. I know you try very hard but trying too hard gets in the way.
I tried this relaxation method which is similar to Bruce's drawing energy up through the feet and making a circle with the energy which tends to be very relaxing also. the breath is important and tends to still the mind. both times I used such exercises I am amazed at both experiences which ensued and which changed my life I might add. I wonder now why I don't do those exercises more often. too lazy I guess! but if you really want something magical to happen as you termed it, I can only suggest using an alarm clock while conscious and not letting yourself get too uptight that it's not working. a 20 minute period is enough time to concentrate on relaxing only while holding your intention in mind. if it doesn't work, you can try again the next day or the next week. it should work for you. having a destination is important. maybe a friend or relative will participate.
BTW, I guess I forgot to mention how great it was to get back to the body! lol! you know I am always rooting for you Mike! I know the retrieval work you do is very very important. love, alysia

Alysia,

Thanks for the encouragement. You say spend 20 minutes at a time. I spend roughly an hour per try. Talk about trying too hard.
I have a lot of faith I will get thru soon. It all about beliefs. For me, its the belief that if I can do this, I will no longer have control over my conscious and projection/sleep states. Ironic, since this is all about will power and overriding whatever natural or artificial barriers are in my way.
In the meantime, before falling asleep, I'm having such a fun time talking with other people's guides. The voices that come through are each so distinct from another. I need to share my latest communications with each of the persons whose guide I yakked with.
-mike