Vicky
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Hi Sanatogen, thank you. Yes, quite unforgettable since it's changed everything, the biggest part being how I think about food. And the chemo affected nearly every part of my body, so this whole journey sure made me have to be more aware of my whole body more than I was before.
In fact I was just thinking yesterday how I am typically more happy of a person when I don't have to be bothered focusing on my physical body and physical feelings most of the time. When I can just ignore the physical more and focus inward more, I find I'm much more at ease with everything. Whether it's pain or just having to take care of business, it's very consuming of your attention and awareness to have to focus on the physical when you'd rather just let your thoughts and feelings wander to where they would like to be instead. I imagine that's true for most people.
For instance, when I had to wear the ostomy bag, for the first couple months it took up most of my day attaching it to my body to make it fit right, keeping it clean, and taking care of leaks. It was a huge thing to learn to get right. What used to take hours eventually only took minutes. And now I don't even have to wear the darn thing anymore. So yeah, the whole journey took me way way way off my normal course and onto some other road altogether, and now here I am supposedly back where I was before, except nothing's really the same at all because I am not really the same person I was before. You don't just go back to the way you were before, nor would you want to.
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