Hi Judy,
if you feel pity for yourself I think you are doing better then a few months earlier. Back then you said you were angry at yourself for not being strong and so. Feeling pity shows more compassion for yourself so I think that is one step closer to loving yourself compared to being angry at yourself. So, even though it's a small step it's still one step in the right direction.
If you and your sister have suicide thoughts you still don't realize enough that you live in an eternity and that you yourselves are eternal souls that cannot be destructed.
When I was in my mid 30's, in the mid 90's, I felt at the end of my life and was in a deep depression too. I thought of commiting suicide too. My problem was that I was alone and without a loving relationship. It really got me in a deep depression.
My spiritual guide then told me I would meet my twin soul some time soon and showed me some situations that would occur. He also told me it would not end well, that she did not want to have anything to do with me at all.
Well, everything he said and showed came through. I could tell you more about that, but that's not the point here.
The point is that when I look back on it the thought came to my mind that part of my depression could have been not my own energy. I think that part of my bad feelings came from my twin soul who was also in a bad situation in that time.
I think we were both unconscious of the effect of our subconscious feelings on each other and now I believe that part of my depression was caused by some of her subconscious feelings.
So what I want to say is that maybe some of your depressing feelings are not your own but maybe from your twin soul, or your twin sister, or somebody else.
But which ever way is true, you have to change. So it's good you are reading this book of positive thinking because it is essential that you learn to recogize how those bad feelings and thoughts come into your being.
It is
essential that you do that. As soon as you realize that you have to be alerted that it is not you but that is a thought or a feeling that is bringing you down. It doesn't matter if it's from yourself or from somebody else, you have to block it and keep it away from you by thinking that you are different from that. You have to replace it by some thought that you are eternal and that you are not doing yourself a favor with being or feeling like that. But don't get angry at yourself. It's better to feel pity or sorry for yourself. That way you are being more kind to yourself. One step closer to loving and respecting yourself.
What helped me a lot in the past were the books of Jozef Rulof. My suicidal thoughts were cured with
The Cycle of the Soul. But that only cured my suicidal thoughts. My thinking really changed with
The Origin of the Universe. That book really made it clear to me that my soul is eternal and that I exist for millions of years already. That book gave me a sound understanding of the origin of the universe and how long it takes for the human soul to reunite with God. It showed that God needs millions of years and a path criss cross through the universe over hundreds of planets to develop the human soul from nothing to the point of conscious reunification with Him. Her.
That last book gave me the sound understanding that I live in an eternity and that I am eternal myself. That gave me the fundaments to start thinking positive about myself. Because there is no other way. At least not any other way that I choose to believe.
There is also the book
Those who came back from the Dead.
The second person in that book, Jeanne, was a woman who was always willing to help other people. I think that applies well to your situation. I think it will be uplifting for you if you would read that. She will tell you of the wonderful afterlife in which she arrived after her transition.
Take care, both you and Deanne,
Love
Mogy
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medium said dad knew of my suicide thoughts (Read 2787 times)
