Hello:
http://iands.org/experiences/nde-accounts/797-understand-the-gift-to-enjoy-the-t...From the above NDE, the below are some of the paragraphs that stand out to me. The first made me laugh.
I realized what was happening, and I was not happy about it. Almost immediately, I started screaming, in a voice that I could hear in my head but could not physically perceive. I thought, "No f***ing way! No! I am not finished yet! I still have young children. I have not seen my life through yet! No, damn It!" I continued with a stream of "verbal" abuse of anyone that was listening in very profane language, until I heard another voice say, "Okay. Relax. It’s not your time."
......
"You are troubled…" the voice said. “Your need to know the truth about your life, is holding you back from living your life to the fullest.” I agreed without speaking.
"You must understand the gift to be able to enjoy and treasure the gift that you have been given," the voice said. At this time, while the voice was neither clearly male or female (I realize that does not make a lot of sense); I knew that the communication was coming from all that is…all that was…all that ever shall be. The voice was that of what I understood to be God. And yet even then while thinking this, it was evident that the entity knew what I was thinking, and chastised me for doubting, or trying to figure out its very existence.
"In order to understand that which you feel you must understand to be happy, you must first know what you need to change in your life on earth," the voice said.
In an instant, I was seeing my life in review-- first all of the wonderful feelings that had brought joy into my life. I saw all of the incredible events of my life when love, the most powerful positive force in existence, was most present in my life. Childhood memories, my first real loves, the births of my children, the first time I knew I loved my wife more than I loved myself. I saw anything and everything associated with love in my life, flying past my eyes and filling my heart with a joy that felt almost overwhelming in its scope.
But, then came the "other side" of my life. To my surprise, I was not subjected to all of the lying and deceit that I would expect to see from my youth or all of the sexual trysts and dalliances from my college days. What was presented to me was explained to be "the times that I had hurt others to such a degree, as to make them doubt their self-worth, or their ability to love and be loved." Girls I had slammed and disrespected in my college days, people who had admired me, only to be disrespected or even worse, ignored when they reached out a hand in friendship. People that I could barely remember or hardly knew, who had been harmed by my "cutting sarcasm and smart-ass wit." Worst of all were the unkind comments and actions I had made to people I did care about and love. Callous remarks or actions that at the time seemed inconsequential. My heart ached with each new revelation. Knowing that my actions, seeming trite and inconsequential at the time, had affected the outcome of so many lives.
It was immediately evident to me that the healing power of unconditional love and respect could be so easily subverted with even a single act of deceit or abuse of trust. Like virginity, once you have crossed a line, it is never yours to take back. The changes are permanent--all you can do is ask for forgiveness and move on. It is that act of contrition--forgiveness that heals the soul. I knew this, because I was not presented with the acts that I had expected to see. I had not been presented with the memories of the acts that I knew were so bad. They required me to seek forgiveness from a higher power, even in my least repentant days of youth.
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