Vicky
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Hi David,
Your progress sounds great to me. When you “see” things while doing the exercises it means your focus is away from the physical and into the nonphysical senses. It means you’re already at least in some kind of altered state which is a great start. I know that the OCD chatter, or any kind of mental chatter for anyone, is an obstacle but you just need to work around it. Trying to ignore something that is bothersome is usually difficult if not impossible. So instead of trying to make yourself ignore it or change it, just decide to use it to your advantage.
What you can do is know ahead of time what your intentions and goals are for doing this kind of work, this mental and energy kind of work. Plan your goals and then know what it means to you to do them. This is what you want, regardless of obstacles. Say for instance you want to visit your dead friend. Then that’s your goal and that’ what you WILL do. No matter what gets in the way or how long it takes, just “know” that that’s what you’re going to do. So the next time the OCD mind chatter seems to be taking center stage, just acknowledge that you notice it, and then remind yourself of your intention and goal. What I do is create a statement and use it like an affirmation, and I repeat it to myself mentally while I’m doing my relaxing exercises, the deep relaxing breaths, the visualization exercises, etc. I just keep repeating it in the back of my mind. After you get so used to repeating it, you kind of stop paying attention to it consciously word-for-word and you just begin to only feel the meaning of it. That’s what you want. So the next time something distracts you while you’re doing your prep work in the Guidebook, acknowledge it and move on.
For instance, let’s say I’m doing my prep work and suddenly I think “Oh I forgot to get the kitchen all cleaned up. Darn, I really need to get that done”. That’s not something I need to be thinking about at the moment, so what I do is notice that it’s there, acknowledge that it’s not what I need or want right now, and then focus on my affirmation again. So I’d think the thought about the kitchen, and then think to myself, “That can wait. Right now I’m focusing on visiting my friend in the afterlife.” I’d repeat my affirmation or intention, and then just observe. Just feel. When you’re going into the effects of that altered state, it’s natural to see images and things like a dream-like state. So when you start noticing that, let yourself know it’s a good thing because it means you’re shifting your consciousness. When you notice something that seems not to make sense or have anything to do with your goal, that’s when you can say something to yourself like, “I’m noticing this swirling pattern in front of me. I’d like it to show me how I can get to my friend who I’d like to go visit now.”
I know right now that sounds kind of dumb, but it really can work. You see, when you’re in the shift of that altered state of consciousness, your mind is very easily suggestible. Just getting there is a challenge, so once you’re there you’ve already gotten over an obstacle. Once you’re there, the next trick is to notice it and utilize it. It really doesn’t matter how you get to your goal, as long as you allow yourself to get there. So I’ve done that dumb kind of self talk, and it does work!
Another trick I’ve used that works is when I “see” images and pictures that are that dream-like junk that doesn’t have anything to do with my intended goal, I just consciously notice it and say, “Oh I see _________. I want my Guidance to direct me to an experience which is most meaningful to my development right now.” As long as you can remember what your goal is and state it, what you’re doing is shifting your attention away from the “junk” and toward your intention. It’s a much easier, more effective way of reaching your goals than just trying to ignore the stuff that’s getting in your way.
By the way, your OCD sounds like it’s a big deal. I don’t know what it’s like for you. I have mild OCD and so does my son and my brother. We’ve all learned to deal with it in our own way and like I said, it’s mild. Most of the time I can ignore it. The hardest thing to ignore is nagging thoughts, worrying thoughts, and feeling insecure. OCD seems to me to be all about that insecurity, and “controlling” things around you tricks you into feeling secure and in control. The more stressed out or emotional issues I have to deal with, the more my OCD gives me nagging thoughts. Most of the time I can and do just ignore it, but it takes work and it can make me feel even more insecure. But I’ve learned enough to know that the OCD thought isn’t what’s really bugging me, it’s something else. So I’ve learned how to focus on something else as a way of distraction. Meditation works wonders for me on this. Deep relaxing breaths do to. Having something meaningful to focus on does too. I’ve learned how to work around it. I hope you can too, and I bet you can.
You have asked some really great questions too. Yes, you will have memory like you do while awake when doing retrievals because you’re not going unconscious like you do while dreaming. During a retrieval you’re shifting your consciousness to another level, so it’s the opposite of being unconscious. So you’ll be aware of yourself but in a more focused way. You’ll have control during retrievals. You may also find yourself in awe, just like any newbie. But remember that you have a guide or guidance there to help you, and most of the time I think you’ll find the whole retrieval going smoothly and you don’t know how. Even if you don’t see or notice a helper, they are there anyway.
Yes, there’s a way to learn how to gain memory of what you clicked-out on during a retrieval or exploration. Bruce talks about that in the Guidebook, so it’s possible.
Your question about retrieving some bad aspect of yourself you wanted to leave behind is an interesting question. I hope Bruce answers it because he’ll have some neat explanation for that. But in my opinion, I simply don’t think that’s possible. A broken-off aspect of self means that at some point in your life you had an experience which caused you to have to make a choice or move in a different direction in life, leaving behind this aspect of your identity. Sometimes it’s a good thing, I think, and sometimes it’s just sad that it had to happen. Retrieving it just means that you’re acknowledging that aspect, why it got disconnected from you, and giving it love, loving yourself for being strong enough to survive what happened in your identity. It’s a healing thing, so I doubt that you can “pull back” some bad aspect or memory or whatever and bring it back to you. Bruce’s exercise about aspect of self is a pretty loving, healing thing to do for one’s self. If anything, it will make you a better person for having done the work. It certainly won’t cause more problems or phobias.
And it’s neat that you’re noticing your guidance working in your life and noticing that it’s there. The things you described about the girl at the nightclub, and finding something you were looking for is showing you that you’re learning to use your Guidance in your physical life. I love that. This stuff doesn’t just only work for nonphysical exploration! I’ve told Bruce that many times over the years, that the stuff he teaches has many uses for waking, physical life as well.
Vicky
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