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Progress, barriers, motivation and some questions (Read 3761 times)
DavidLay
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Progress, barriers, motivation and some questions
Nov 5th, 2012 at 3:30am
 
I haven't posted on here in a while but last year or so I decided to purchase a used copy of Voyages into the Unknown and read it all the way through. After it finally was able to give me some clarity into truth I decided that I really wanted to know, so I got the Afterlife Knowledge Guidebook and CDs and then began doing the exercises.

I have been unable to get anywhere close to going out of body or seeing things, up until one very brief thing very recently. I have OCD and that causes my mental dialogue to rant about phobias and sometimes start making counterproductive threats or musings to annoy myself, and this was a slight barrier that I'll get into a little later. I initially struggling with the first deep relaxing breaths exercise until I read the tips and saw one where I think Bruce suggested envisioning inhaling and gathering up all the tensions in my body and then exhaling and blowing them away. That helped get me further along, and I was able to eventually make progress with establishing the flow, gathering energy and building up the levels from below. I got that down pretty well so I started moving to the Silly Little Finger Bending exercise and the Interpreter and the Perceiver exercise. At this point, those two tracks on the first CD, as well as some on the third and fourth CDs were corrupted and would not play, so I had to record my own, doing an impersonation of Bruce's voice for the purpose of consistency. I was able to get the finger bending exercise down but with the Interpreter and the Perceiver, there was some difficulty. I apparently have a VERY chatty interpreter, and often about completely unrelated things. Getting it to stop talking or even talk about something related proved to be very difficult, but eventually I got something. Rosalie's version helped somewhat in that I could use my physical voice to provide some sort of distraction from it. I was able to get satisfactory results that way but nothing that was ultimately outstanding.

Guidance proved to be an interesting one, but when I found that it actually WORKED, it was a little bit scary. I decided to try to find out what a woman I met at a club thinks about me, and then IT WORKED. Circumstances aligned themselves so that another woman would talk about me to her and cause her to tell the other woman what she thought about me while I was within earshot. That was something I could have never seen coming. Similarly, I tried saying out loud "I need" something when I had trouble finding something, and somehow doing that made things easier to find. I immediately thought of the disappearing peanut butter jars scenario and it seemed to fit together. I got some results with the heart intelligence exercise as well but they were a little harder to interpret. Some verification came for one. I think my fear about guidance and heart intelligence predicting something very unsavory is acting as a barrier in my usage of them though.

I seem to be pretty good with energy gathering, so doing the same energy gathering exercises from above were a piece of cake. It always felt like a cool breeze or rush surging through me. It could have been a liquid or gas, and visually I'd imagine things with my mind's eye but see nothing literally. These imagined energy flows were often glowing a color and moved as spirals or helixes or sometimes even crazy random spaghetti like arcs.

Sometime during the frame of time while I was practicing the complete energy gathering from above exercise, my best friend was killed in a very unfortunate scenario where he had a mental breakdown and may have made a bad choice that resulted in his death. I talked with a friend I met from this forum who is more spiritually advanced than myself about the whole thing and let her watch a graphic videoblog I made on youtube where I talked about what kind of friend he was, what kind of guy he was, just how close and unique our bond was and how I interpreted the circumstances of his death to be. She predicted that I might meet up with him soon among other things, and then something happened. The next time I practiced the complete energy gathering exercise, I saw something within the blackness of my closed eyes. It looked like a jellyfish or a firework that exploded and was cascading downward in a hemispherical shape. It had no discernible color but just looked like a lighter spot within the blackness that had a visible shape, and it was like I could see it with my physical eyes. I don't know if this was progress or not, but it only happened once.

After this happened, it, as well as having lost my best friend, were both motivations to be a little more dilligent about doing the AKGB exercises. I'm now on the Feeling and Building the Love exercise and I've been practicing this one far more often and frequently than I have any of the others. It took a while to get the feeling of love to flow but eventually I did. At some point where I did, I decided to send some to my best friend in hopes that he could use it as energy on the off chance that he is stuck. His state of mind was not good at the time of his death and his death may have even been an indirect suicide or the result of being intoxicated on some hallucinogen. I don't know the details yet. I still think I need to practice this one a few more times. If I could get the feeling of love to stay within me for a few minutes, that would be great. I may have hit the 30 second point but I think it can be a little longer.

All in all, I've made some progress on this. It's going to take quite a bit of work and will power but I hope to get to the point of pulling off retrievals and exploring, and that brings me to some questions.

Is it possible that when I'm doing the retrievals or exploring that I'll have some memory of what I knew when awake? I've noticed that in my dreams I often don't, and they also seem to play forward like movies except I don't seem to be in control of anything. Will there be more control with this type of thing?

And as far as retrievals go I have a few questions about those. On the off chance that my interpreter or perceiver thing is not fully worked out or may be a hopeless case due to my OCD, at least for now, is it possible that I can go back to some database and get full memory of it at a later time? And Bruce, if you see this, I read your story about retrieving an aspect of yourself curing an incurable disease. I like that concept, but is it possible that it can go in reverse and cause something else unsavory from my past to return if I retrieve the wrong aspect of myself? By that I mean, could retrieving some aspects of myself cause things that I worked hard to get rid of such as phobias, prejudices, or problems with self control to come back, thus forcing me to work hard to get rid of them all over again? If so, is there some way of knowing this ahead of time, so I can leave that part of me behind?

So I know this may be quite a bit, but hopefully it is all informative or insightful, or that the questions have answers, even if they're not simple ones.
Thanks.
David
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PauliEffectt
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Re: Progress, barriers, motivation and some questions
Reply #1 - Nov 5th, 2012 at 11:37am
 
The message (which may be wrong) I've got from guides is:

A. You already have all Aspects of Self within yourself. This probably means
that it's difficult to absorb anyone else's Aspect. But you may find Aspects of dead
people, and those Aspects will then go to F 27 by the help of Helpers, in my opinion.

B. I think that sometimes people may pick up Aspects of Selves, who they are not
prepared for. The Helpers most likely don't mind, I think they want us to pick up
any lost Aspect, regardless of if we are prepared for it. If we are unprepared, it
will take much longer to re-integrate the Aspect or some part of the Aspect
may get lost again, for some time, I think.
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PauliEffectt
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Re: Progress, barriers, motivation and some questions
Reply #2 - Nov 5th, 2012 at 12:45pm
 
DavidLay wrote on Nov 5th, 2012 at 3:30am:
And as far as retrievals go I have a few questions about those. On the off chance that my interpreter or perceiver thing is not fully worked out or may be a hopeless case due to my OCD, at least for now, is it possible that I can go back to some database and get full memory of it at a later time?

To get a good recall of a retrieval, when I've done like 3-4 "parts" of the retrieval,
I step back for a moment (but without leaving the retrieval scene), and work through
those steps, memorizing them.

By doing that, I also become a little more awake, and reduce the risk of clicking out.
It can go like this:

"Oh... Now a lot of things have happened. I'll have to recap. Let's see...

It started with... a lamp post. A man was standing beside a lamp post. Dull evening or
beginning of night. The man walked along a street. He stopped at a window to a shop.
I tipped his hat over by some reason. I excused myself and picked his hat up.

He said something I couldn't hear. Then he was standing near an old car. Were we in
a workshop, indoor suddenly? Something probably happened and I've already
forgotten it, but that doesn't matter. I'll continue with my recap...

He brought a toolbox with him. I think he wore a dirty coverall. His hat was gone.
I followed him from behind, we walked past a second old car and continued through
an aisle (?). Were we in a shop or a theatre?

Hmm.. Now lets go back to the scene and figure out how to retrieve him...



Then I return to the scene and continue my work, usually trying more than one
approach to the person, sometimes I change appearance until I have succeeded
with the retrieval.
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Vicky
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Re: Progress, barriers, motivation and some questions
Reply #3 - Nov 9th, 2012 at 11:30am
 
Hi David,

Your progress sounds great to me.  When you “see” things while doing the exercises it means your focus is away from the physical and into the nonphysical senses.  It means you’re already at least in some kind of altered state which is a great start.  I know that the OCD chatter, or any kind of mental chatter for anyone, is an obstacle but you just need to work around it.  Trying to ignore something that is bothersome is usually difficult if not impossible.  So instead of trying to make yourself ignore it or change it, just decide to use it to your advantage. 

What you can do is know ahead of time what your intentions and goals are for doing this kind of work, this mental and energy kind of work.  Plan your goals and then know what it means to you to do them.  This is what you want, regardless of obstacles.  Say for instance you want to visit your dead friend.  Then that’s your goal and that’ what you WILL do.  No matter what gets in the way or how long it takes, just “know” that that’s what you’re going to do.  So the next time the OCD mind chatter seems to be taking center stage, just acknowledge that you notice it, and then remind yourself of your intention and goal.  What I do is create a statement and use it like an affirmation, and I repeat it to myself mentally while I’m doing my relaxing exercises, the deep relaxing breaths, the visualization exercises, etc.  I just keep repeating it in the back of my mind.  After you get so used to repeating it, you kind of stop paying attention to it consciously word-for-word and you just begin to only feel the meaning of it.  That’s what you want.  So the next time something distracts you while you’re doing your prep work in the Guidebook, acknowledge it and move on. 

For instance, let’s say I’m doing my prep work and suddenly I think “Oh I forgot to get the kitchen all cleaned up.  Darn, I really need to get that done”.  That’s not something I need to be thinking about at the moment, so what I do is notice that it’s there, acknowledge that it’s not what I need or want right now, and then focus on my affirmation again.  So I’d think the thought about the kitchen, and then think to myself, “That can wait.  Right now I’m focusing on visiting my friend in the afterlife.”  I’d repeat my affirmation or intention, and then just observe.  Just feel.  When you’re going into the effects of that altered state, it’s natural to see images and things like a dream-like state.  So when you start noticing that, let yourself know it’s a good thing because it means you’re shifting your consciousness.  When you notice something that seems not to make sense or have anything to do with your goal, that’s when you can say something to yourself like, “I’m noticing this swirling pattern in front of me.  I’d like it to show me how I can get to my friend who I’d like to go visit now.” 

I know right now that sounds kind of dumb, but it really can work.  You see, when you’re in the shift of that altered state of consciousness, your mind is very easily suggestible.  Just getting there is a challenge, so once you’re there you’ve already gotten over an obstacle.  Once you’re there, the next trick is to notice it and utilize it.  It really doesn’t matter how you get to your goal, as long as you allow yourself to get there.  So I’ve done that dumb kind of self talk, and it does work! 

Another trick I’ve used that works is when I “see” images and pictures that are that dream-like junk that doesn’t have anything to do with my intended goal, I just consciously notice it and say, “Oh I see _________.  I want my Guidance to direct me to an experience which is most meaningful to my development right now.”  As long as you can remember what your goal is and state it, what you’re doing is shifting your attention away from the “junk” and toward your intention.  It’s a much easier, more effective way of reaching your goals than just trying to ignore the stuff that’s getting in your way. 

By the way, your OCD sounds like it’s a big deal.  I don’t know what it’s like for you.  I have mild OCD and so does my son and my brother.  We’ve all learned to deal with it in our own way and like I said, it’s mild.  Most of the time I can ignore it.  The hardest thing to ignore is nagging thoughts, worrying thoughts, and feeling insecure.  OCD seems to me to be all about that insecurity, and “controlling” things around you tricks you into feeling secure and in control.  The more stressed out or emotional issues I have to deal with, the more my OCD gives me nagging thoughts.  Most of the time I can and do just ignore it, but it takes work and it can make me feel even more insecure.  But I’ve learned enough to know that the OCD thought isn’t what’s really bugging me, it’s something else.  So I’ve learned how to focus on something else as a way of distraction.  Meditation works wonders for me on this.  Deep relaxing breaths do to.  Having something meaningful to focus on does too.  I’ve learned how to work around it.  I hope you can too, and I bet you can. 

You have asked some really great questions too.  Yes, you will have memory like you do while awake when doing retrievals because you’re not going unconscious like you do while dreaming.  During a retrieval you’re shifting your consciousness to another level, so it’s the opposite of being unconscious.  So you’ll be aware of yourself but in a more focused way.  You’ll have control during retrievals.  You may also find yourself in awe, just like any newbie.  But remember that you have a guide or guidance there to help you, and most of the time I think you’ll find the whole retrieval going smoothly and you don’t know how.  Even if you don’t see or notice a helper, they are there anyway.   

Yes, there’s a way to learn how to gain memory of what you clicked-out on during a retrieval or exploration.  Bruce talks about that in the Guidebook, so it’s possible. 

Your question about retrieving some bad aspect of yourself you wanted to leave behind is an interesting question.  I hope Bruce answers it because he’ll have some neat explanation for that.  But in my opinion, I simply don’t think that’s possible.  A broken-off aspect of self means that at some point in your life you had an experience which caused you to have to make a choice or move in a different direction in life, leaving behind this aspect of your identity.  Sometimes it’s a good thing, I think, and sometimes it’s just sad that it had to happen.  Retrieving it just means that you’re acknowledging that aspect, why it got disconnected from you, and giving it love, loving yourself for being strong enough to survive what happened in your identity.  It’s a healing thing, so I doubt that you can “pull back” some bad aspect or memory or whatever and bring it back to you.  Bruce’s exercise about aspect of self is a pretty loving, healing thing to do for one’s self.  If anything, it will make you a better person for having done the work.  It certainly won’t cause more problems or phobias. 

And it’s neat that you’re noticing your guidance working in your life and noticing that it’s there.  The things you described about the girl at the nightclub, and finding something you were looking for is showing you that you’re learning to use your Guidance in your physical life.  I love that.  This stuff doesn’t just only work for nonphysical exploration!  I’ve told Bruce that many times over the years, that the stuff he teaches has many uses for waking, physical life as well.   

Vicky
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DavidLay
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Re: Progress, barriers, motivation and some questions
Reply #4 - Nov 20th, 2012 at 6:37pm
 
Pauli: That's actually interesting that you got the impression that all of my aspects are with me. That wasn't something I'd have guessed right off the bat. When I was establishing the flow from above and building up levels, as energy flowed downward somewhere in the right side of my abdomen on several occasions something felt a little funny. I wasn't sure if that was the indication of something needing resolution or just a small abnormality that was otherwise harmless but it was something that I noticed.

Vicky: Thanks for the helpful feedback. I have seen the jellyfish once while doing an exercise now and once when I was not doing anything but resting in bed. I try to tune out the OCD dialogue but when it becomes particularly threatening that isn't always easy. Then it becomes even more tempting to listen to it somewhat. I just might try your suggestions. I've occasionally seen or felt things while laying in bed somewhat tired but still awake. Don't know how much of it is something or just my imagination. I think once I get this type of perception and then exploration perfected I might want to visit my friend and see how he's doing. Although his state of mind was not the best at the time of his death, I also know that he lost his grandfather whom he was close to a year or two earlier so it's possible that if his grandfather was working as a helper that he'd have gotten some extra assistance. I did two video blogs on youtube regarding my friend but don't know if I should link them since they get a little graphic for the purpose of showing what type of strange and unique bond we had. I'm a novice at meditation and still have a ways to go at it but I've made some improvements from square 1. I'd actually be interested in Bruce's inputs about retrieving aspects of self that might bring back negative qualities because I have at points in my life worked at getting rid of some negative qualities from my childhood and teenage years such as phobias, prejudices and problems with self control that I'd like to keep in the past. I'm currently still repeating the feeling and building the love exercise. This is one I haven't always been able to feel the love energy for as long as I should. Often times it will be interrupted by some OCD related thought obsessing about phobias. And getting guidance to work was definitely an interesting thing but I'm still a little scared it might dig up some unsavory information or something that I really don't want to know so that has had me a little reluctant to do it again. However, the way it worked when I employed it the first time was pretty cool so that also has me tempted to try it again for something else, and the two seem to cancel each other out.

Again, the tips have been helpful. Thanks for the replies, everyone.
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DavidLay
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Re: Progress, barriers, motivation and some questions
Reply #5 - Dec 7th, 2012 at 5:55am
 
So some more updates, I have completed gathering love energy at the heart and just today for the first time tried projecting love energy for the first time towards three targets. I was initially having some difficulty gathering the love energy, much like I was with feeling and building the love, but one day a memory that didn't work before worked for the entire duration of the exercises. I don't remember which one or if it was both for this one but it involved a woman I was in love with and some loving and empathetic responses from her during phone conversations, and then somehow I envisioned a miniaturized clone of her inside of me fighting off all of the negative energies inside of me. The weird thing is that she has been out of contact from me for years now yet these memories and imagined visions helped. A number of other things were also used including my cats, close friends or other women from my past or doing things I really loved doing. After I practiced gathering love energy it was time to try projecting.

I had some experience sending PUL before in a more simplistic form to people. I did this with three targets, two following the exercise and one afterwards after the audio track finished. I sent it to two female friends who had been going through some family related difficulties and got impressions of them smiling, and I also did so to my car and its relationship with me. My car is used and has had a few minor hiccups and its engine light is still on presumably from the same causes as before. However, during this exercise, some thoughts of things i was terribly afraid of crept in such as fears of injuries or emotional disappointment showing up in certain forms which I had to quickly drown out by going back to the loving thoughts. Is there any chance that the projected love energy might be contaminated by that in any way and if that could cause any problems? I also remember as I was writing in my journal logging the experience, when I wrote about sending love to my car, I suddenly felt very anxious and was afraid that this might have the potential to backfire and have a result that causes some serious harm to me or to the car. Is there any chance of that happening and if so could even the worst of it be remedied all the way by sending more love energy to it? Is it also possible to send love energy to one's self or does that not work? I think I'm making some progress, albeit at a snail's pace, but I keep finding myself either worrying about these things or wondering things.
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Re: Progress, barriers, motivation and some questions
Reply #6 - Dec 7th, 2012 at 11:58am
 
Hi David,

IMO you are too ‘powerful' to be sending love energies to an inanimate form.  It can absorb some, say in some degree of human appreciation. But excess is an error, imo. “Backfire’ is a fun pun for that  Smiley Love is by its nature an outward flow, so to hold it in for your own self or to try to aim it at materials that are basically inorganic is against its nature. Love wants to meet other life to love and so become magnified.

By powerful in your case I mean it to some degree as a potential force.  You seem to have much empathy and awareness that can further develop you. For example, your awareness of the aspect of that woman in your heart. (There’s a South American culture where they could teach you alot about that one particular part of spiritual development.  It’s part of Love and it’s all good. I regret I cannot at the moment think of the previous poster here who is a master of that.) Cherish your friend and she will be of help to you, as she has chosen to love you.

Best wishes!
Bets



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DavidLay
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Re: Progress, barriers, motivation and some questions
Reply #7 - Feb 25th, 2013 at 3:43am
 
I suppose it was bound to happen sooner or later, but I've hit a snag. I've mastered establishing flows of energy both ways, building up levels both ways, and I've done pretty well with feeling, building, and probably even sending love. I've hit the imagination as a means of perception exercises and have found that with nonphysical sight, I could never see anything. I didn't even have the knowing feeling Bruce described in the book, but that may be because of my obsessive compulsive disorder and overactive mental loops, since as result of that I have had some rather depressing or terrifying thoughts, theories or fearful predictions that were very thankfully verified to be FALSE, so I don't know if I can trust this knowing feeling if I get it. With nonphysical sight, during that exercise I was sometimes also indecisive about what I wanted to see and that caused things to shift around a bit. I did a little better hearing songs with nonphysical hearing and sometimes envisioning radios, several of which I imagined but again never actually saw anything. I think my nonphysical hearing may be a bit better than my nonphysical vision. Even some of my dreams seem to have had visuals displaying at only partial intensity lately, though more often than not I can tell what I'm seeing then. I've just started the third imagination as a means of perception and although I could get to peeling, smelling and tasting an orange, the fact that I have (although I have seen and smelled them) less experience with flowers, that caused me to have a hangup so I had to on my own free will make stuff up to fill in the void, in which I was able to make up a white calla lily and a smell similar to baby powder. I have only tried that third exercise once. I may need to do it again and see if I get better results.

Sending love to my car oddly enough, if it had any effect it was a strange one. I'd put a new tire on it, then spend money on 3 more new tires when another one went out and then have the engine stall out, only for my mechanic to look at it and say it needs to go to a dealer for a computer, then spend more money than I would have liked to get a computer I didn't need only to then discover that the wiring looked like a total mess, which I've yet to get fixed but odds are it was like that since I got it and that only caused a problem recently, 2 years after its purchase. It would be interesting to see if that series of events was the result of sending it love or not, particularly given that this problem was likely there for years without being noticed. That is my progress, and recent hiccup in progress so to speak, and thoughts on it so far.
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