to friends & family

I hug my dog. Talk to friends and family. Listen to meditation tapes and rest. Come here and listen to people talk online. Read inspirational books, something which will bring my thoughts to a higher level or involve me in an interesting story (which can help me realize how lucky I am). Go to work, get busy with something. I admit to sometimes diving into a bottle of wine or else taking my prescribed anxiety med. Cooking is something I enjoy. Writing in a journal helps me to get my private thoughts out, the ones I don't tell other people, and is a kind of relief. Different things, different times. Exercising with videos is one way to relieve physical or mental pain, either with an instructor or nature scenery on an exercise bike. Chanting my mantra. Simple things. Private prayer. Did I say sleep? I love to sleep. Simplicity -- focusing on "how simple can I make this thing" is helpful. Wow, love this list. Nature is "way up there" if you can take a walk in a beautiful place.

Music. Incense. A really really good cup of coffee, made in my French Press. Making a list of what I want to do -- it's on the list, so now I can relax and cross those bridges when I come to them. Humor -- watch something funny. Somewhere, sometime, in some way, someone else has found a way to look at your situation in a way to make you laugh.

Religion completely failed me decades ago.

Until my soul mate feline companion died, she provided the best comfort I've ever had in my life. Now I have to rely on friends, but really....I don't have much source of comfort. I have to just hang on until things get better. I seem to provide comfort to more people than provide it to me, but I don't resent that, because at least I feel useful.

Nature would be wonderful if I could get out in it; here it is either too hot or too cold most of the time.

Such a good point, BobMoenroe, that most of our misery which we might attribute to others is often a simple "giveaway" of our own power. We can take it back, and we can inhabit our own reality with integrity and confidence. However, sometimes we need the encouragement and the support of other like-minded people to help us to stand up for what is our own birthright.

Yes, essential oils are heavenly! Love them.

Related to this question of where to go for comfort if religion "fails you" ---

There is, indeed, even in what we consider modern times, religious persecution of many kinds. Believers in -- whatever -- who use their "faith" as an excuse to oppress others. People who use their "faith" as an excuse to bully and hold themselves above others in a self-serving manner. This is deception, and the consequences can be very serious for those whom they are able, for whatever reason, to obtain power over, demeaning and enslaving them in the process.

This can be done by one person to another, or by false leaders over others. It can be what is known as a "way of life" and considered normal.

For someone who has been abused, it may take quite an effort, some time, and a lot of help to recover.

So, it is important to remember that counseling can be an option. Having a good counselor, a competent counselor, who can function as a clear mirror to the injured person, who might be very much weakened by verbal or physical abuse, and quite confused as to his/her own value/worth, can be vital in that situation.

A clear mirror is one which does not distort, which does not pervert a person's true image. It does not have an agenda. It simply reflects, simply holds the person in the present, with clarity, with precision, without adding or subtracting, allowing the person to present himself or herself as they are. This is such tremendous help to someone who has been abused because that person is so used to being confronted with a "false" image of who they are at every turn that they don't even know what is real anymore, or who they are. They can only do this by finding a way to the truth. Sometimes a counselor can help.

I believe this is where the best uses of some "religious" practices lie, when they are sincerely practiced, without another person adding or subtracting from them. Examples such as private prayer, meditation practices. They can, when used in a simple, sincere way, provide that "clear mirror" that a person needs to "find" his/her own true self.

But, we are human, and we do not function entirely alone, and must live in society. Therefore, eventually, we must learn how to stand up for and to integrate ourselves with others in a way which has personal meaning for us. No one else can determine for us what is our intrinsic value, so we must find it on our own. This is very exciting. This is what is sometimes called our "human evolution" -- our purpose for being.