To cut the long story short, I ended up living on a very small island (roughly 25km x 17km). Reason being that my wife wants to live close by her family and friends and happy there but I am feeling trapped and it's like prison to me. There is nothing for me, I hate it here and this resulted in me feeling very sad and angry. I love my wife but the reason I don't leave is because I want to be there for our little daughter. My wife tried to move to my "home" country but the opposite happened, she hates it there and moved back. The story is much more complicated, but that is it in a nut shell.

Now my questions are this:

1. Did I plan my life on this miserable island before I re-incarnated so that I learn a few lessons? If so, it's not helping much as I only have negative feelings and thus I'm failing my lessons. I'm trying hard to be positive and accept my destiny but it's very tough.

2. Is it maybe Karma? That is, I am paying back for my past lives mistakes? For me, this feels like a punishment.

3. Or it's just free will, with my past decisions I ended up here and now I am 'trapped'. Like I said, I can leave, but I don't want to abandon my daughter.

Would be interesting to know how you guys see this.

Thanks!

Thanks for your feedback Mogenblue. It makes sense. I'm trying to understand why things have unfolded this way in my life as I feel that if I find a reason it will help me to keep going forward.

The funny thing is that I feel like I am in a deadlock. If I leave by myself, I will hurt them and I will surely miss them but will feel at home and if I stay here I won't hurt them and be there for them but will not feel home.

So which ever way, I cannot be complete and I'm trying to understand what I can learn from this and how to keep positive.

I'm a very patient person, hopefully in time, things will reveal themselves.

Life on this plane is surely weird! hehe

Cheers.

I don't believe in karma in the Hindu way, but some garbage from
other lives may have to be dealt with now.

On the other hand, I'm not sure there exists free will as many people
believe.
---


I would try to meditate or at least make some quiet sessions for myself.
Then I would try to ask if there are any guides who can help me with my
questions. Having had those sessions for some time, I eventually got
an answer to some questions I had no idea I had asked for.

It was more like getting brilliant insights.

I place both specific questions and more general questions if there are
any "important messages" to me. My answers has sometimes come
in quite unexpected ways.

Maybe your island is more wonderful than you think?

Maybe there is something you need to accomplish there?

PauliEffectt wrote on Sep 11^th, 2012 at 9:47am:

Yeah, I have heard a little about this (the garbage and lack of free will). I'm really interested to know more about this. Please let me know if you know of any material about these two points. I can imagine that it's quite a vast subject and maybe we do not have enough material/evidence to cover these two in detail.

PauliEffectt wrote on Sep 11^th, 2012 at 9:47am:

When my wife left back to the island, I stayed there for a while by myself. Logistically (and due to work), I couldn't just leave with her. Anyway, it was the time that I have learned to meditate and I was so angry and wanted answers that I also made many attempts to communicate with my guides. I alwaays got the same answer..."Stay calm, you have to accept this and go back to be with them as that is the right thing to do". Deep inside, no matter what I wanted in life and no matter how painful it was going to be, I knew I just had to give up everything and go back to be with them.

The thing is that till this day I am not sure if I was talking to myself in my mind or if it was really any spiritual guide talking to me. Nowadays I try as well, and all I get is "You have to wait". Then again, it could be myself talking to myself

PauliEffectt wrote on Sep 11^th, 2012 at 9:47am:

The island itself is not that bad. It's just too small for me, I love to jump in the car/bike and go to the mountains or miles of beach or city (like back home)...there are no good work opportunities (I'm a software engineer) and thus standard of living is x3 lower. It's over populated and old/dirty buildings. Hehehe, I know, that was overly pessimistic, it's only my perception of course, but that's how I see it.

That could be a possibility, true, maybe I am here for a reason or need to accomplish something, that is why I am patient.

Thank you for the insights


Quote:


I feel like in prison because the place is very small to me. One can only go to the same place all the time and I love exploring and space, nature. Here is overly populated, there isn't enough work. There I had a huge house with big garden and here only a small flat with people on top of me and no garden cause properly is x2 expensive. Wage are x3 less. Everything is small is packed.

Maybe you're right mate. I wish I can understand more. And yes, unfortunately I am making my wife miserable due to my negative attitude. I'm doing my best, but can't help it at times. She does not want ever ever to move again, so that she made clear to me. So I have to accept it.

Thanks, I hope that something will change my perception and attitude as that's the only solution.

Quote:


I don't know if this will help or not, but I've always felt that "home" is within me and everything else is external or outside of me.  Working on feeling at home within may help to change your perception in some respects.

In making the decision to remain a part of your daughter's life, as well as your wife's is admirable.  This alone changes you internally in that it is a loving choice.  Allow yourself to be glad and feel satisfied with your decision.

The hard part of this is to find ways to satisfy your longing for space and freedom to explore your surroundings without feeling crowded.  As a software engineer I'd think you'd have some marketable skills in which you could make extra money via the Internet that could be used for vacations two or three times a year.  I don't know if your wife would be open to this, but I'd think your daughter as she grows would love to have some adventure in her life that would be fun for both of you.  Even during times when you're not able to leave the Island it might be fun to plan some adventures you, your wife and your daughter could enjoy... a treasure hunt, sighting unique birds, collecting rocks, shells or whatever you can imagine...

It's our thoughts that guide us in creating our reality, so allow yourself to change your thoughts and your reality will begin to change as well. 

Very wise words guys, thank you!

You're feedback is deep and it all makes sense. I guess it's up to me to stay positive, look forward to things, see the glass half full, be hopeful, engage myself in interesting things. I know that 'reality' will still remain there but like you said the mind is powerful. I think is that I stay comparing with the alternate life and opportunities that I can have but after all I know that I am much better off than others, for example those at war or maybe going through a natural disaster.

Maybe it's the ego and the wants that make me unhappy. I'll have to find a way to control these.

Cheers
Wonderer

Every island, no matter how small, is surrounded by an infinity of water. What a great adventure you might have. Learn to sail! Then you are on an adventure every time you venture out, and returning to the island is like coming home. The advice already given is really good, I think, and I agree with you and honor your determination to stick with your daughter. hopefully you can do so with your wife as well!

Best of luck,
Bardo