Hello, forum, and thanks for reading this message.

I have asked this question in a similar forum, got some good answers, but would like to see if I can get additional wisdom from this particular community.

I am a Scottish/Italian medical doctor and I am transitioning out of a long academic career to establish myself as a grief and bereavement counsellor. This, for me, is the natural evolution of the keen interest I've had for many years in psychical research - an interest which has led me to write a popular book ("21 Days into the Afterlife") and which inspires my "radical" approach to working with the bereaved and the dying. I am convinced that, based on the evidence, a rational person can believe in the afterlife, and I know from research that the simple fact of knowing about the evidence for an afterlife (let alone having an experience of after death communication)  is considerably more successful than traditional approaches in relieving grief.

I am seeking advice on sensible, respectful ways to approach the subject of survival (and, in particular, after-death communication) with persons of Catholic faith. I have been researching the subject for a while, but it seems to be a particularly difficult one to crack. How can one encourage a bereaved person to at least consider the evidence for an afterlife and the possibility of contacting a deceased loved one when all this is a big, explicit no-no in the Roman Catholic catechism and anyway perceived by most Catholics as sinful?

In particular, I have a potential client - a relatively young female widower - who's been consumed by serious grief for years. On the one hand, her faith is of no use in relieving her suffering. On the other, she won't consider the approach I propose (education about the evidence and possibly an attempt at ADC through the psychomanteum technique I studied with Dr Raymond Moody in the US) on grounds that this is contrary to her religious teachings. Another example is a dear friend, who, after three years of battling cancer, died an anguished man, tormented by the fear of judgement - a very catholic view of what happens after one dies, very much at odds with what we are told by Near-Death Experiencers, regressed patients and spirit communicators.

I think that, in many cases, these beliefs actually stand in the way of grief recovery and alleviation of suffering. I am looking for ways to work around them, without being disrespectful, patronising or altogether dismissive.

I apologise for this lengthy post. I thank you in advance for considering this, and look forward to any wisdom you would kindly share.

Piero Calvi-Parisetti, MD
drparisetti.com

I don't know if I add anything of value, but I think the belief can't be changed
with just another belief.

Assume you have a scientist who believes in the Big Bang theory. He wont
change his mind just for some other belief. He has to have some kind of
experience to change his belief.

Perhaps you could ask the persons if they have had any experience which
is not in complete line with their religion? If they have not had any such
experience, the will at least have the chance to remember your question
if they get such an experience which is opposite their religious belief.

It's true, I really dislike the Catholic religion and I really do attack the religion for many various reasons.

One of the more ridiculous reasons is simply because my parents raised me as a Jehovah's Witness, and although I am currently agnostic, a lot of the teachings that were pelted at me as a child do have some withered roots. Jehovah's Witnesses really REALLY dislike the Catholic religion.

The bottom line is that the Catholic religion was and is a huge major religion and many people did terrible things in the name of the Catholic religion.

http://www.devilthinking.com/catholic.html

Obviously, it's wrong to take the actions of a few.. or even thousands of people that are Catholic and yet perform atrocities? I mean, it's not the religions fault.

Religion tells you exactly what you are to believe. Nothing else will fit within the guidelines of the religion. (Applies to most religions.)

In my opinion, most religions, especially the Catholic, Jewish, and Christian religions can be a good influence in a persons life, yet, can in fact be a major anchor, weighing them down and holding them back from finding out the real truth. The real facts, and the real truth of human spirit and life itself.

Ray Moody's use of mantic tachniques will strike most Catholics as far too occult and therefore Ouija board dangerous for dabbling.  But tell your Catholic contacts that 50% of Americans report ADCs within the first year of their loved one's passing.  After that, such contacts are much less infrequent.  What should they look for?  Waking visions, lucid dreams of the departed, clairaudience, odors (colognes, cigar or pipe odors characteristic of the deceased), a sense of weight on their beds indicating spirit presence, and so on.

I am not Catholic, but for 12 years I was a Theology professor at a Catholic university in New York state.  Contrary to some posts on this thread, Catholicism is not a fear-based faith, though older generations of Catholics have resorted to fear as a motivation, just as some Protestant fundamentalists have. In fact, in my observation Catholic monastics have a much deeper and richer experience of the paranormal than most New Age adepts.   

Some comments on what to do:
(1) In my view, the best but most challenging strategy is to google "Stephen Ministry," take the Stephen Ministry course and then the Stephen Ministry Leadership Training.  This course is very popular with Catholics, indeed, with most Christians.  It involves a 50-week course with manuals and books, and a first-rate set of DVDs to develop expert listening skills.  The program was created by gifted Christian clinical psychologists to develop skilled listening to a level that consistently helps grieving and hurting people work through their grief and experience a profound inflow of divine grace in the process.  I am currently in the midst of an 8-week sermon series on background principles that will prepare volunteers for this awesome care-giving ministry.

(2) One line of the Apostles Creed reads, "I believe in the communion of saints."  As you know, Catholics feel comfortable praying to the Virgin Mary as well as the saints.  This practice assumes that the departed can monitor the progress of incarnate souls and even intervene.  Thus, the best example of an EVP was received by two Catholic priests seeking to clean up a Gregorian chant tape.  The deceased father of one of the priest's interrupted the chant to respond to the priest's cry for his Dad's help: "Of course, I'll help you.  I'm always with you."  These priest-engineers brought the tape to Pope Pius XII, who declared that God may well use EVPs to establish the reality of the afterlilfe.  The Catholic doctrine of the communion of the saints is the best foundation to entice Catholics into exploring ADCs.  I have never had any trouble persuading any Catholics that such exploration is appropriate, helpful, and potentially deeply spiritual. 

(3) Another helpful ploy is to lay out the biblical case  for the ability of our beloved dead to monitor our progress and even lend us aid.  I can help you document this case.   

Don

Focus27 wrote on Sep 14^th, 2012 at 1:57am:

"Don't do this or you will go to hell."

Realistically speaking, a creator has the right to set limits on his creation.


Let us think of life and humans as a computer program, and God as the computer programmer.

God creates a program and gives it free will to do things that directly oppose the original creation of the program.

God punishes all of the executed programs that decide to make those choices that oppose God, but are still acceptable choices within the program.


Whose fault is this?

The programs?

The programmer? Hmmm.......

Oh, wow, thanks a lot everybody. I am really sorry, but I've posted the same question on another couple of forums and sort of forgot about this one. Shame on me.

A lot of food for thought, indeed. I don't know, perhaps I err on the side of caution. After all, if somebody's beliefs are preventing him/her to access means to get better (Jehovah Witnesses come to mind for refusing blood transfusions...) I should not feel shy to openly challenge those beliefs. Still, in a way I see faith as something so personal, and often so cherished, that I feel uncomfortable in suggesting to people that they should abandon at least some of their beliefs. Or, which is more the case in point, openly disobey some of the prescriptions of their chosen religion.

Thanks anyway. I really appreciate you all taking the time to share your views.

Piero
drparisetti.com