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Vicky
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Hi Brian,
You PM'd me and here's my response. It's very long, I get wordy, so I thought I'd just share it here on your thread....
Thanks for writing me. Sorry to hear of your personal pain of losing contact with her and then finding out she'd died. It's why I always say what I feel and express it, because we just never know when things will change. Then we have so many unanswered questions. That's what gets me the most. I hate not knowing what I want to know.
Do you have a sense of your own personal guidance? You know, your higher self? A lot of people refer to it as spirit guides but that doesn't seem to suit me. I just use a general umbrella term of "Guidance" to refer to all that spiritual stuff.
You should really enjoy Bruce's Guidebook and CDs. I did a retrieval within the first week of having his book and I had only been reading it, wasn't even using the CDs yet then. What I did was really set my intention on wanting to do a retrieval. I told myself (my guidance) this was something I really wanted to do. It was one of those burning-desire things. Then one evening while I was making dinner and the kids were watching cartoons, I had a strong feeling come over me and felt/heard "go try to do a retrieval right now". It was such a strong feeling I couldn't ignore it. I had no idea yet what I was really doing, but I just followed Bruce's technique, sat there at my computer desk and did a retrieval even though I could hear the TV and hear my kids laughing at the cartoons. It was that easy!
What I wanted to point out to you was that trying to do an OBE or AP isn't necessary. If you're trying for that, you might create a block. It's better to just follow the easy steps that Bruce has outlined and trust that whatever you experience and in whatever way you experience it will be ok. Just trust whatever the process shows you. What I find time and time again, though....and Bruce doesn't really like people to know this....is that the process usually does lead you to having a genuine OBE. The reason he doesn't want people to focus on that is so that they don't focus on expecting an OBE and then end up disappointed if they don't have one. But the truth is, the reason it can and usually does lead to a genuine OBE is because his technique very subtly guides your consciousness into an altered state and you don't even realize that it's happened. In that altered state, your nonphysical senses of perception open up.
So it's not that you need to try to "turn on" any special abilities or senses of perception. That just happens automatically because of the altered state of consciousness you move into. There are of course various altered states of consciousness we shift into all the time, but we are rarely ever aware any shift has taken place. Even while normally awake in our normal everyday lives, we move in and out of these altered states of consciousness without realizing it. So, certain states allow for easy use of our nonphysical senses of awareness that we all have. These are not special abilities that only special gifted people are born with. They are a natural part of us because we are conscious beings. Our physical life awareness is only one small slice of the pie of the totality of our consciousness. You might say that that one slice out of the whole is what we call physical reality. You have all the other slices which are other realities, dimensions, and areas of consciousness.
So you asked me about some insight on contacting guides when doing retrieval work. It's a concept people make way too complicated because we try to first figure out who such a guide is and how we make contact with the guide, etc. Those things don't matter and focusing on them will clog up the process. All you need to do when you sit down to try a retrieval or contact is simply intend to have a guide to guide you. Set your intention on being guided to do a retrieval, then do the deep breathing exercises until you are very relaxed. Follow the other techniques Bruce outlines in the guidebook. Use whatever parts he teaches you which will cause you to get into a relaxed state. That's the purpose, to let go of your hold on your normal physical state of being. You don't have to be sleeping, but if your body does go to sleep that's ok as long as you hold your mental awareness awake and focused. Then, continue focusing on your intention. If you really want a guide to guide you, then just pay attention to the next thing you notice coming into your mind. Look for what you "see" in your mind's eye. Listen, feel, or notice what comes over you. You'll likely feel something like my foot itches. Just ignore it. Tell yourself, "Ok my foot itches, but I'm ignoring the impulse to scratch it because I'm focusing on doing a retrieval right now." But the kind of thing to notice or feel is not physical, it's going to be an impression. And usually it will be something so weird or barely noticeable that you'll think it doesn't mean anything.
But whatever you notice, whatever it is, no matter how insignificant it is, act as if it's exactly what you are looking for. Act as if it has shown up in direct response to your request. To do that, just respond to it by acknowledging it and saying to yourself something like, "Ok, I notice that I just thought of flowers. I wonder if that has to do with leading me into this retrieval." Or if you "see" something in your mind's eye that looks like an impression of something, just go with it. Pretend it is a sign. Say to yourself something like, "Maybe that shape means something. I want to see more. What else is there?" Whatever you choose to do about it, the point is to respond as if believing that's what you need. Even if it makes no sense at all. What is really taking place is that you are allowing your body to go into a light sleep state (although it's not necessary, but usually does happen) and your mental awareness continues with the same level of consciousness as normal waking consciousness. This allows you to focus on your intention and still have use of your normal faculties of awareness. As you allow yourself to move into the altered state of consciousness and your nonphysical senses of perception begin to open up, and you play along with whatever you perceive in your imagination, what happens is that a guide, helper, or your higher-self guidance is able to get through to answer your request. We really do have the ability to communicate with these beings and parts of our higher consciousness but the trouble is we usually don't know how to perceive and receive the communication. But by allowing a shift in your consciousness, you move into a state where such communication is made very easily. Doing the pretending and following whatever you think you notice in your imagination is like following a trail of breadcrumbs. That analogy is that if you're too afraid or full of doubt, you won't allow yourself to be led, and you'll hold yourself back in normal everyday consciousness where logic and analyzing and fear are the things which filter what we allow ourselves to experience.
When you read Bruce's work, you'll see how he shows he did retrievals while sitting in a restaurant or driving his truck. So please don't confuse what I'm saying to mean that an altered state of consciousness means you are sleeping and dreaming. What I'm saying is that we all can naturally slip into a state of altered consciousness and NOT EVEN KNOW that anything different has happened. You can be driving your car, walking, or whatever and not even realize a shift has taken place. That's how subtle these shifts are. Do you know that even something as mild as daydreaming is a type of very light sleep? Daydreaming, or even closing your eyes for a few moments automatically slows down the brainwaves. So you can see how easy it is to shift into altered states of consciousness without realizing it. This is what meditation is all about. This is why learning how to quiet the mind and just be and just feel are good techniques when learning to do consciousness work.
Bruce has taught me time and time again that when wanting a helper or guide to help you, it's not about "seeing" anything. All that really matters is the thought. Just have the thought that a helper is there and then just talk to the helper as if one is there. The tricky part in learning all of this is allowing yourself to play with the process. That's why Bruce suggests doing a pretend visit and conversation in your mind. Create a daydream in your mind where you're fantasizing that you're going to visit with your deceased friend. Make up in your mind what the scene looks like. Pretend that she shows up for the visit and sits down at the table (or whatever the scene is). Daydream what you'd say, and as you make all of this up play it out in your mind like you're writing a scene in a movie. You are making up everything that happens. You are controlling and directing everything. As you do, the same shift in consciousness is taking place as your body relaxes, as your breath slows, as your brainwaves slow. All you are doing is keeping your mind awake while all of this is taking place. All you're doing is using the framework of "daydreaming" as a means to hold your attention on your focus of intention as all of these other processes are happening. You won't even notice that you have shifted into some altered state, however slight it may be, and as you play the daydream conversation in your imagination, what eventually happens is that the scene takes on a life of its own. The friend in your imagination could start to do or say something before you have a chance to make up what you want to pretend her to say. You'll find yourself thinking, "Wait a sec, why did that just happen?" Don't question too much, just observe what's happening. It will be necessary to continue pretending too, to help keep things moving along. But pay attention to everything that happens. When you're done with it, or when you notice you can't hold onto the state or daydream any longer, or if it seems to end, that's when you can go back to normal everyday thinking, analyzing, and logic. You'll want to write down everything you did and noticed and felt. Write it all down and then see what is there that you know you did not know about or make up. Maybe in your daydream/imagination your friend said something that could be real information. That's why Bruce suggests asking your helper guide to show you, tell you, or give you something in the experience to prove that this is real. The real information can come in any form, but what happens is that it will be subtle too, seeming to play right into the daydream in your imagination. You'll think you were just making it up, but there could be something that you realize you didn't think you made up. Or it could be some information you have no normal way of knowing. If you have a way of verifying the information with a friend or relative of the deceased person, they could verify it for you and it would be pretty remarkable evidence that you really did have genuine contact with the deceased person.
I know that only using the imagination technique doesn't seem satisfying enough as proof of real contact, but as you continue practicing you will eventually have an experience which proves to you beyond any doubt that the experience was real. For me it was when my perception opened to the point of OBE conscious awareness. A lot of my psychic experiences are in that same kind of state of consciousness, so I'm used to the feeling of that kind of awareness. When I have an experience in that state of awareness, I recognize the feeling of it and know it's genuine and isn't just made up. I know for a fact that I cannot fake that kind of feeling or that kind of visual awareness and knowing. You cannot fake knowing something that you have no normal way of knowing. Any little bit of verification of real information that you can find will propel your trust and confidence in doing this kind of work.
Vicky
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