Hi Ottawa1, and welcome to Bruce's Conversation Board. 

I'm sorry to hear about you losing your dad.  I know how hard it is.  My dad passed away a couple years ago.  It's natural to feel what you're describing but I noticed you said he doesn't exist anymore.  I know it goes without saying, but that's something you should stop telling yourself.  Even if you don't really believe it, the negative connotation can have a real effect, I think, on your reality.  If you want to change or create something, you have to start inside yourself.  You have to make room for it inside you.  Your belief system is the first place to start.

I think that your looking for someone to help you and give you some mediumistic evidence that your dad is still alive in the afterlife is a good idea and a good start.  But I'd also suggest that you yourself try to contact your dad so that the real change you're seeking isn't just solely based on your idea of what kind of proof would help you heal the loss of your dad from his physical life.  Your focus on wanting someone to give you a message or something specific that only you or close family would know isn't going to be the real answer you're looking for.  It will only cause you more questions and confusion. 

It's hard to know what we are truly, deep down, looking for and what we truly need in order to move us deep inside. So we attempt to solve these things inside by focusing on something logical which seems to be the likely answer we're searching for.  But logic won't apply here.  If you change your focus onto feeling and emotion, your attempts at satisfying that need, desire, and soul-searching feeling inside you will give you the kind of resuls that will really make an impact. 

Anyone can contact someone in the afterlife, not just mediums.  You really don't even have to be very experienced at it.  Passion and love, however, are  great tools.  They come from that place of feeling and emotion I was talking about.  If you can make time for yourself alone, quiet, sit, and imagine and feel your memories of your dad until you feel moved emotionally, then you're able to contact him. 

Also, Bruce Moen has articles on this site which you can find in the navigation bars where he describes how you can do this very easily, and he describes it in such a matter-of-fact way it's easy to see that anyone can do this.  In fact, I was just on YouTube tonight watching videos of Bruce at workshops.  Here's a link to the one where he walks you through using your imagination to pretend a conversation with someone deceased, playing along with the pretend conversation, and paying attention to anything unexpected that happens.  He explains that it's important to let it flow and then take notes afterwards because there may be something in it you can verify as true.  Here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2L3GUqJ-eo

Also, what you may be feeling so soon after losing a loved one is the effect it has on your energy, and if you're feeling particularly down and sad and negative, it can really block your connection to your higher self guidance.  Bruce teaches the "feeling love" exercises (they may be in the articles, I'm not sure) and this type of practice alone can do wonders for your mood and energy state in a time like this.  He teaches how the feeling of love can open one's perception beyond normal limits.  I think it can really help you to at least feel better and help you in making contact with your dad.  In fact, I know it can. 

Vicky

Hi Vicky,
The problem is that I have a very rational mind so this touchy feely stuff to me seems overly subjective and in itself is not proof of anything because a person can convince themselves of anything when it comes to subjective matters. So this is an issue I need to overcome-as you suggest.

I will definitely look into Bruce's technique but it sounds like it is far too subjective.

Not sure how your suggestion of feeling moved by emotion would be evidence of actually contacting my dad:
"imagine and feel your memories of your dad until you feel moved emotionally, then you're able to contact him".  This sounds to new age for me and this does not resonate as being the type of evidential experience that my rational mind quests for. That said, perhaps there really is no "rational" way for me to make contact on my own...

ottawa1 wrote on May 9^th, 2012 at 2:39pm:

Ehh... I meant that you should try it yourself, the Moen way. It requires some practice,
but then you can do it yourself. Only drawback may be that once you've opened the door
it won't close again.

As you look into Bruce Moen's work you'll see how he describes the use of "feeling love" to open perception.  It's just one of the helpful techniques, but by all means doesn't mean you have to be a touchy-feely sort of person if you think that's too "irrational" for you.  But I believe you'll find that what I mean by being "moved" by your own personal experience is that it will automatically open up and change something unexpected inside of you that your rational, logical mind was not expecting and couldn't possibly expect to find.  That's what's pretty special about having your own direct experience.  It's not going to be what you expect it should be; it will be something else that blows your mind, catches you off guard, moves your state of consciousness in a way that you could never have imagined. 

Sorry if I scared you away by mentioning "feelings".  Then forget that.  Try Bruce's outlined, easy methods.  You have nothing to lose!  But you will be very surprised.  And for you, perhaps you don't need the usual-expected results, maybe you'll discover something totally unique to your own experience that did the trick for you.  Please share it here, whatever you discover. 

Yes I've had success with it and some amazing experiences.

Sure, I don’t mind mentioning a few.  But my experiences probably won’t describe the kind of proof you’d like to see.  I haven’t had experiences where I was able to gather information like names, dates, and anything like that that could be verified.  But what made me know and believe it wasn’t just fantasy was how I experienced them.  I’m clairvoyant and psychic in my normal everyday life, so seeing, hearing, and feeling in my imagination are things I’m used to happening to me.   There’s a difference between fantasizing-imagining making up something in your mind you want to think about, and actually experiencing things taking place in your imagination that you know you didn’t decide to think about, didn’t make up, and didn’t know were going to happen.  When things in your imagination play like you’re watching a movie, well I don’t know how else to prove otherwise but I know it’s not just my mind making things up. 

One experience was when I intended to be in contact with someone deceased.  After closing my eyes and stating my intention, I instantly had the feeling and memory of a boy I went to high school with 20 years ago.  There weren’t many memories of him to have as we weren’t that close or spent much time together, but the one memory that came to mind was of a casual date we went on.  To me it was just as friends but I later found out it had meant more to him.  It was strange that I’d suddenly think of him and that memory for no reason.  The feeling and memory of him was so vivid in my mind, and was as if he was reminding me what that date had meant to him and why he was coming through to me.  I had no reason to think he was dead.  The next day I found out he was deceased and had been for several years!   I wanted to believe his spirit really had contacted me by using the memory as a means of communication, and I wondered if there was a way for me to have more direct verification of it.   So I set intention to have another direct experience to validate real visitation from someone’s energy/spirit as proof that it wasn’t just a coincidence.  Instantly I was thinking about, remembering, and feeling the energy of a girl I knew in the first grade.  I was instantly remembering and seeing in my mind how we had met.  I had no idea why that memory would have come to me for no apparent reason, but I trusted that it must be in direct response to my intention and request.  About six hours later that day I received an email from that girl!!  She of course was now grown like me, but in her email she said she had been thinking of me for a while and had wanted to get in contact with me, and when she found my email address she decided to just write and say hi.  To me, that isn’t just a coincidence.  There was no reason for me to suddenly think of her and for her to email me the same day when we hadn’t been in contact in well more than 20 years. 

Another experience was that I had set intention to be in contact with someone deceased and felt the energy of someone talking to me, heard it was a woman’s voice, frantic.  I asked her to slow down so I could understand what she was saying, and the next thing I knew I physically felt her take my hand and pull me.  I was instantly having an out of body experience, as she pulled me from my chair.  I knew I was physically still in my chair but that nonphysically I was now being pulled by this woman.  The next thing I knew we were in some kind of office building and she was still pulling me by the hand, running frantically and looking for a way out or somewhere to hide.  I could feel her feelings through our “connection”, knew how terrified she was of someone chasing her.  She made the mistake of going into a room which had another exit, and through the door came the man who was after her.  He beat and strangled her until she was dead, and I felt her last moments of her life. 

Another experience with contact of someone deceased was a visit from a 3-year-old girl who “found” me, and when she realized I could see her she wouldn’t leave me alone.  Over the course of a couple weeks I kept getting visitations from her and found out that she didn’t know where her parents were but she thought they were worried about her being gone so long.  She wanted me to tell them where she was and that she was ok.  I had no idea what to do, but since this little girl ghost believed that I knew how to help her, I pretended that I did.  So I lied down on my bed, closed my eyes, and pretended that I was telling her I was going to help her now.  I imagined in my mind a house that was  her parents’ house, and imagined me walking up and knocking on the door.  I imagined them opening it and me introducing myself, and telling them that I had come to let them know their daughter asked me to let them know she was ok.  I could feel the relief this little spirit felt at seeing her parents accepting her death and expressing their love.  After that “pretending” technique, I never was visited by the little girl ghost again.

In another experience to do a retrieval of someone deceased, I ended up seeing two children accidentally start a fire in which they perished, and seeing how they were stuck in the afterlife due to their fear of what they had done.  They wanted so badly to just “wait” for their mom to come get them, and I tried to let them know they’d been waiting a really long time.  The experience in my mind was so clear it began as seeing clairvoyantly and then transformed into a full out-of-body experience for me. 

Another experience worth mentioning wasn’t about someone deceased but very much alive.  It was my first attempt at partnered exploration, and I didn’t really know what to do but knew that pretending and using my imagination was the easiest way to go, so I trusted it and just made up that I wanted to have Bruce (from this site) join me and guide me in meeting the other members here who were participating in the meetup at the crystal at TMI.  All I did was begin remembering and imagining what Bruce’s energy presence felt like to me, but before I could really even start pretending anything at all, I saw in my mind’s eye Bruce walking into the scene in my imagination.  I told myself, “Wait a sec, I didn’t make that up.”  And then I literally physically felt him grab ahold of my hand.  I was so shocked I looked down at our hands in my imagination, stunned that I could actually feel that.  I knew that I could feel my physical body sitting there, eyes closed on my floor in my house, yet at the same time I physically was feeling, seeing, and hearing what I was experiencing in my imagination.  Then Bruce said something that I didn’t pretend or plan to imagine him saying.  He said, “Thanks for inviting me, it’s nice to be here.”  And then he said, “Ok, you jump first!”  I was SO shocked by now.  I knew that I hadn’t made any of that up!  It was happening beyond my control even though I was wide awake.  I wondered what he meant by jump??  What could that possibly mean?  I was so scared that I snapped out of the experience, instantly pulling my hand away and opening my eyes, and jumping to my feet.   Later, when I told Bruce of my imagination experience to see what he thought, he didn’t have memory of the experience but he confirmed what the reference to jumping meant.  He said that when people do nonphysical meetings at the crystal they energize their spirit by touching or jumping into the crystal.   

Vicky

Thank you, glad you enjoyed reading them.  I too always will have to wonder the same things you're wondering.  But there came a time for me where I had to let go of that type of left-brained logic and allow room inside my consciousness for trust and a shift to opening my perception to other ways of perceiving that do not fall into the normal categories we're used to adapting to in our normal, everyday living. 

No, I didn't know the woman who died, had no proof of who she was or that she was even real.  However, the way in which my consciousness experienced what I experienced was something I'd never experienced before.  I have dreamed, daydreamed, fantasized, pretended, and have been "lost in thought" many times in my life.  I know what those experiences are like.  But to be living and feeling what someone else went through being murdered...I don't think I'm creative enough to make that up and fool myself into thinking it is real when it really isn't.  If I were that good, I'd be one heck of a movie or novel writer.  If, however, this is all due to some quirk of the subconscious that has a mind of its own, then so be it.  That's not something I can prove either.  So I choose to continue on my path of allowing room inside me to believe there's more to life and death and reality than I know, and I'm going to be open enough to enjoy the journey as I try to experience and learn what I can about it.  I think at the very least, when I die and leave this place, maybe then I'll have the real answers.  Maybe I won't.  I just don't know what's really out there, but I know one thing for certain...I know how my conscious self feels about what I experience in my own awareness.  No one but me can tell me what I feel.  And when something happens to you that moves you beyond normal awareness, feelings, or states of consciousness, you don't care so much about what's real or what can be proven, because sometimes the experience itself is more important than those kinds of things.  After I leave this earth I won't be able to take with me anything physical and concerete, or facts or proof.  The only things that I'll still have is my consciousness which is made up of what I've experienced, how it made me feel, and what I choose to do with it. 

I don't know if I could connect with your dad.  All I could do is try, but it's not my area of expertise.  I've had mostly beginner's luck in all that I have experienced so far.  One bit of advice I could give you that might be worth your while in trying yourself, is that if you really want to have, experience, or create something, you can help bring it into being by making room for it in your belief system, or your consciousness.  It's the same concept, for instance, as wanting to change your eating habits for the purpose of losing weight or being healthier.  It's hard to do if you crave bad foods and have no self control.  If you try to force yourself to not eat those yummy bad foods, you're going to feel bad, hate the temptation, and be pretty unhappy.  But if you instead change something inside of you to make room for the experience you want to have....eating healthy foods and enjoying them...then you'll have a much easier, enjoyable experience.  To do that you might have to slowly get used to eating healthy foods, slowly incorporate them into your diet, while you slowly eat less of the things you shouldn't be eating.  Or you might eat with people who are already good at making and eating healthy foods, so that you enjoy their company while eating without focusing so much on what you're eating.  And stop hanging around the people who are eating bad foods all the time.

The point is that if your goal is to adapt to something because you really want to have it, you'll find something inside you which allows you to have it.  The best way to have anything in life is to not have to fight to get it.  Finding a way to be in sync in mind, body, and spirit with what your goals and desires are makes your experience so much easier and more enjoyable.  After a while, you find that your worries, attitude, or beliefs about things have had a way of changing.  And when you can see something from another perspective, it has a way of altering a lot about your entire being.  It can be hard to know how to make those kinds of changes.  But now that I'm mentioning it, I think that Bruce also has an article on that on this site, about how to set intention to have an experience which unblocks a limiting belief in the core of your being if you really want to make changes in what you experience in your reality. 

Vicky