This is a bit of a long one, but i feel for some people like me, it's well worth it. This is story about the strange way i finally found 'proof' (it happened this week).

I’d been suffering from a mild form a depression for about 4 months, falling into a funk which was  very unusual for me, where I saw no hope and people or things no longer gave me joy even the things that I usually loved doing.  At times I’d find myself walking down the street and I’d just start to feel like crying, a great sadness welling up that wanted to break though. Even going to the Monroe Institute Gateway Voyage Programme, which I’d waited years to do even didn’t even get me excited, let alone the 3 week holiday that went along with it. I had been hiding the sadness well with not many people knowing except my partner.

I was just fluctuating between feeling numb and a great sadness. Being a bit spiritual I kept examining the feelings and thinking they were about finally realising the emptiness of reality and that in fact we’re all alone, left on the cold world to fight over the few remaining scraps of love left over. However doing the TMI Gateway Voyage Programme had helped me enter a deep paradox, where while I felt disappointed I didn’t find any physical proof of the afterlife of which I was seeking, I went deeper into the ‘trust and let go’ mantra that’s been going my head for the last 6 years. Trust the images and messages in your mind, as your imagination is just as relevant as using your 5 physical senses. I had to unlearn everything I had learned and trust the guidance. Now that’s not an easy thing to do.

In my normal life, everything was perfect, perfect place to live, perfect partner who shares the spiritual path with me, just had a book published, was about to start a great new job which I’d aimed for and now was being handed to me on a plate, yet the great sadness and depression was still there. I couldn’t feel enthusiastic about anything.

So after a week of learning to carefully watch for guidance through dreams, meditation and synchronicity and then writing it all down I noticed I was getting the results I was looking for. It seemed that there in fact was ‘something’ sending me messages and I was able to interpret them.

But it all changed one morning meditation session. I’d woken up feeling down as usual, yet i decided to tackle the issue once and for all and ask for guidance about the way I was feeling. After the relaxation process I entered Focus 15 and asked the question.

A few images flickered in my mind’s eye, but nothing I could latch on to. Then out of the blue the idea came to ask if I had any energy forms attached to me. So I asked the question and I was then in a dark forest and noticed a presence to my felt, I white pasty figure with head hung low and I knew this being was an energy form that had being with me for the last 4 months.

I felt him / it and then I said he was no longer needed and told him to leave and at that point the figure changed to small child version of itself and sobbed and sobbed. I could feel this great sadness and hopelessness come from him. The scene continued in my minds eye where two flashes of light appeared around him and I knew that helpers now where able to ‘retrieve’ the child and take him to a healing centre.

I asked when he had attached him to me and I got the memory of towards the end of last year, I’d been desperate to have physical evidence of the afterlife and non physical reality and I stood in my yard and yelled to the universe to show me proof. I walked away disappointed and yet with a small insight that maybe it was my fear that had prevented me for perceiving anything.

And that’s where I had ‘invited him in’.

I thanked my guides and the boy for showing something so amazing and was ‘told’ that over the next couple of days I’d start to feel normal again.

Once the session finished, I immediately felt something lift and spent the rest of the day literally on a high. The entire depressive mood and sadness had lifted and I could enjoy the things I used to look forward too. I now have a deep love and appreciation for the being that caused the energy drain as he was able to give me the proof I needed and wanted. I asked for proof and I got it, but not in the way I had expected.

What had really convinced me that the whole situation was real is my change in mood and demeanour, it’s like someone flicked a switch and the sadness was instantly gone. Also every time I think about it, I have chills and goosepumps and a welling of gratitude and amazement arises.

The universe really does work in bloody mysterious ways.

Yes Bardo... i'll be very careful next time... but i'm so grateful it happened

   Hi there Outsidecreative,

    It's not so "strange".  Thank you for relaying your story here, it's an important one that more people could use more awareness about.  Quite a percentage of people have more issues with nonphysical interference, influence and/or attachment than many would realize or even suspect (or would want to know).  Sometimes it's more subtle, and sometimes more overt. There are also different kinds, different types of beings, and different ways of influencing.  You were lucky because your case involved just one, former human, who was basically lost, lonely and looking for a material home, so to speak. 

   I have a sort of similar, and yet different experience than yourself.  I originally got involved with Consciousness exploration at a young age and earlier on got involved somewhat strongly with Eastern philosophies and belief systems.  I started meditating without much wisdom, inner balance, and awareness about how Reality works and without the awareness or knowledge of unfriendly forces. 

  In other words, i unduly opened myself up, at a time in my life when i should have been more insulated or protected, for i had a rather difficult childhood in some respects with a lot of challenges.  (which i'm grateful for now, since it facilitated a lot of growth and inner strength).

  The result was, that i spent most of my teen years severely depressed and suicidal.  At the time, i didn't know how much some powerful, nonhuman and ill intentioned consciousnesses were focusing on me and trying to help me to off myself. 

  Eventually i got to the point wherein i really tried and almost succeeded.  It was a year after my Mom (whom i was rather close to) died of cancer after watching her struggle off and on for 4 years, i was paying rent at my grandparents to share a room with my younger brother and butting heads with my headstrong grandfather who became rather uncentered from my Mom's death and we were fighting a lot and he told me that i had to leave--knowing i had no place to go and would be homeless.  I was having financial issues despite working.  On top of that, i had just been through some very upsetting and dysfunctional romantic relationships.   I felt so unbelievably alone and unloved at this point in my life, and they were whispering constantly into my sensitive mind, "you know you want to do it, all the pain, all the suffering will be gone if you do, go ahead, what do you have to lose."

  It's a bit of a minor miracle that i'm still here (my younger brother, somehow found me in sleeping with just underwear on in the snow, in the woods, after downing a whole bottle of codeine syrup).  It's important to note that the severe depression and suicidal feelings were not only caused by nonphysical interference and ill intentioned influences, nor just by a lot of external challenges going on, but also because my physical body was very unbalanced and toxic. 

   Anyways, one of the things which helped me, besides having a certain spiritual epiphany about self and life, and dedicating myself to become Love like Yeshua did, was calling on very powerful, very positive and constructive, expanded Guidance for help.  This helped to really lighten things up, and it's amazing how quickly things and my mood changed with asking for this help and getting very serious about my health regimen and lifestyle.  I mean, shortly after, my whole life and self started to transform to the ever more positive.

  I went from being one of the most depressed, sad, and introverted people i ever knew, to being one of the most joyful, at peace, friendly-sociable (though still quiet and introspective to some degree), and centered.  It was like i was often naturally high. 

  But, some years later after a long, nice break, i got tested again.  I got heavily involved with a popular "spiritual" work, called A Course in Miracles.  Around this time, i started to become uncentered, extremist, and more easily upset again.  I didn't know what was wrong.  Around this time, a very psychically sensitive female friend i had told me out of the blue, "Justin, i saw a very large and very dark spirit around you, trying to influence you.  You have a lot of Light and so have attracted it's attention strongly."   Whatever the case, i wasn't fully myself around this period.  I said some really mean and nasty things to some people that i shouldn't have said.  I was acting more egotistical, low vibratory, was more unhappy, etc. than i had been in a long while.  My sex drive and urges were also unusually high.  I also had a couple of spontaneous classic OBE's around this point, which is unusual for me because i never explored via that slower vibratory level of self previously. 

   Long story short, a dream message helped to realize that ACIM was leading me off my spiritual path and growth process, and with some other synchroniciities around that time, i realized i needed to drop this work.  I also called on a specific, very powerful and service oriented Being for helped, and again buckled down in all areas of my life to rebalance and expand self. 

It helped tremendously, and i think i again gained strength from this kind of testing and challenge--not too mention, later, a lot of awareness about interfering influences.  My case was a little different in that it involved some very strong and more collective non human influences (an E.T. group was part of it).  I eventually became consciously aware of different hindering influences through direct guidance and allowing myself to be open minded enough to be able to receive such information. (sometimes, presupposing or preconceptions, can make it hard for you to become aware of certain info or for guidance to "get through" to you.). 

  In short, i've learned through direct experience that Reality is much bigger than most give it credit for, and that there is a very wide range of types of Consciousnesses out there.  Some very spiritually helpful, constructive, and liberating in effect, some very hindering, misleading, very ill intentioned, and limiting in effect, and many more relatively inbetween like most humans are. 

  It's important, when opening self up via meditation and other sensitizing activities, that if self is not already very happy, balanced, and attuned to what Bruce calls Pure, Unconditonal, Love Consciousness, that we ask for help, guidance, and protection from levels and sources much more aware and expanded than self. 

  Even Monroe's affirmation is not ideal, for in his affirmation, it says i ask for assistance, wisdom, etc. of those equal to or greater than my own...  I've found, that it's far better to cut out the "middle men" so to speak, and go direct to the Source and those fully intune with it and Love.  It is these Consciousnesses, which can, besides your own self and use of your freewill, help you to expand the most. 

  Not all of us seekers and explorers are in a space or at the point in our growth, wherein if we call upon "guidance" and help from those equal to our own developement, that we will get particularly aware, spiritually helpful, etc. type sources.  Some may even attract and "let in" some influences not good for self and self's growth. 


(p.s., i later found out that i was so focused on by some very strong and ill intentioned forces, because they were aware of the probability that i could eventually facilitate much awareness and retrieval here and really help a lot of people later on, and they really, really, really don't want to see this positive, unified, and happy human future unfold).

   

Outsidecreative source:

Thank you for sharing your experience. It is wonderful that you got the spirit that attached to you to move on to a positive direction. I echo much of what Justin (a channel) said. Some people underestimate how much spirits/beings of different types attach to people in an unproductive way. 

Right Outsidecreative:

Opening our hearts to love is key. We'll have lots of opportunities to do that out of body stuff when we no longer have a body, but how often do we get to practice living according to love during challenging circumstances.

Outsidecreative:

It sounds like you had another retrievel like experience. Sometimes people help with retrievels and such without knowing about it while asleep. They'll be told that they are helping out in such a way through their dreams.

Perhaps you can be really helpful when it comes to helping stuck spirits move toward the light. The more you develop yourself spiritually (e.g.; grow in love and overcome limiting ideas) and the more you treat your body like a temple (eat healthy, no drugs, alcohol and smoking), the more you'll be energetically ready to help.

Thanks guys for your positive comments and encouragement.

I've noticed something has definitely shifted in me that can't be reversed, it's like what the Buddhists call 'stream enterer'.

I've done 20 or so retrievals before this occurred, using Bruce Moen's method and now i can look back and confidently remove most of the doubt i had whether they were real or not. If love is the main motivator, then all else doesn't matter.

But i'm taking this very slowly and not trying to achieve too much at once. One message / feeling i got was that it was time to stop reading other peoples books about these experiences and focus on doing it / living myself and going deeper into how understanding how communication works.

For example: during the TMI course, i was discussing having trouble having full brown OBE's as i always aborted them just after each exit due to some fear that i couldn't work out. the facilitator helped me frame a question that i could ask, but i got no response. I re framed the question to "what am i most afraid of". And i'm thinking it might be monsters, fear of the dark etc, but that night i had a dream, where i was ignored by family and the house i was living in was cut in two separating me from my family. I awoke with a clear message that my biggest fear was of rejection and abandonment. And everything about my life suddenly made sense, i understood why i behaved certain ways, i understood how my childhood has shaped things and even understood the prelife agreement between my parents and me to bring about this understanding. And now it was time to open my heart to love, and not have it closed to fear.

That's how guidance works. fantastic stuff.

You're welcome.

There was a time when I would have classic OBEs with all the effects, but as I developed spiritually they stopped.  Now I experience nonphysically without all the effects.

Perhaps related, some NDEers might experience a tunnel not because a tunnel is necessary, but because it helps them understand what is taking place.