Hello everyone,

I am not a stranger to this site, as I was once a daily contributor about 6 years ago and was brought here when my Grandfather passed and basically being afraid of death and questioning life made this site a virtual home for me. But a lot has changed since then, and I am no longer afraid of death nor do I question life as much...lol.

But there is one thing that I wanted to ask and discuss. (I am going to be really general purposely here to keep this short) I recall something I learned from discussions of the past in relation to our spirits and how life is a process for us to learn lessons and to grow spiritually. The key is to in a sense evolve spiritually and that a lot of what happens in our physical life relates more to our higher self, etc, etc.

Well, I was married and got divorced, which was as horrific an experience as my grandfather passing. And now after going through a lot of self repairing through church, prayer, changing my views, positive life path, etc. I do in a sense feel rejuvenated and like a new person. But on a level that kind of makes me feel disconnected from the normal every day life.

I went from drinking and smoking at one time, to not having a desire to at all, having adverse issues with faithfulness in relationships to being with one woman and not having any desire whatsoever to even LOOK at another woman. I used to have a terrible, TERRIBLE anger problem and now I cannot stay upset at things to save my life. I read a lot and listen to music and cry over things that have strong emotion like I can channel or feel it IN the music/words. Things that are sometimes weird to me. And as much as I believe these are great things and I am changing into a better person, I feel strange because I feel so very disconnected from the World around me that still struggles with the very same things I have overcome.

I do not have conversations with many people because I feel like I am over their head or they are in a state of "lower perspective". Like with relationship advice, I try to give people opinions based on becoming a better you and not "needing" someone or sex or any of the things associated with the culture of dating and how people HAVE to be with someone, but are for the wrong reasons and themselves are incomplete, looking for someone to "complete" them.

There are just too many examples to express, but basically, what it leads to is me being more of a deep thinker, and ponderer, looking to learn more, feeling displaced, and the one thing I want to consistently do is give back and help people (spend a lot of my time volunteering to help children in my community since divorce because I feel they are the key to "change"), because I feel like I have so much to offer in terms of my experience and how my views are of a higher sense since overcoming them. All while still continuing to evolve as a person spiritually!

And as muddled and all over the place this may sound, it really is something I wanted to know if there was any way to get help with understanding. Because it's not fun to live in a World where everything I am surrounded by or used to know, I have no relation to it. Not saying I am Jesus or better than anyone, just saying that I feel strangely "above" or disconnected from the everyday, "normal" flow of things. Great feeling based on where I was in my life 2 years ago, but strange presence.

Does anyone relate or have a clue how to gauge this? In my opinion, it feels almost as if I am on a path to enlightenment???? And there is a higher purpose for me in this life and I am fulfilling it?? Can you realize your enlightenment while living your physical life???

Any words will help and God bless.

- JG

Hi JG,

Good to hear from you again.

Yes, I think I can identify with what you're calling a "disconnected" feeling.  I wonder if this has more to do with having an emotional freedom from the "ordinary troubles" of the world around you?  It doesn't sound to me like you are really disconnected because of your desire to be helpful.  Rather, I would say, through the learning in all of your experiences God has brought you to a place of emotional freedom that will enable you to actually be useful in helping others to grow spiritually.  In other words, you've grown and evolved to a place that strengthens you and your intent to make this possible.

You're correct in thinking you're not "above" others, yet I'd say you have a greater understanding of the plight others are struggling with.  And as you do continue to grow by helping others, you will most likely continue to learn, grow and evolve toward becoming all that you can be.

Since we are basically in a kindergarten level of learning I doubt that one can become totally enlightened.  Consciousness is a really big thing... bigger than any of us can possibly imagine.

Many blessings to you.

Kathy

Thank you both for your input...helps a great deal! And I wanted to clarify that when I say that I feel "above" people, it's more because I cannot relate to anyone about my state of being and the way people relate to what their purpose is or what drives them, in contrast to feeling like there is "more", then I feel completely alienated. I don't treat anyone any different than I ever have, as I have  always been a "nice" person and caring about people and their feelings, but again, I just have no one to relate to with this state and no place to really look for definition. Which is why I came back here, where in my 6 years of having the strangest questions to ask, have ALWAYS gotten great answers and direction.

I do believe Kathy was right, and I think just experiencing a sense of "difference" has made me assume something much greater than it really is. But without interpretation...like my signature says...lol.

Ok, well, interested in gaining more perspective on things...

Thanks again!

Reading now...

Thanks!

Excellent article!

The crazy part for me personally, is that I have actually said some of the same exact things to people. The concept of being "selfless" and how, in the example I stated, some of the GREATEST people in our lifetimes have been those who are selfless, from Jesus to Gandhi to Mother Teresa, etc, etc. And from those people, who transcended into figures that the World view as "rare" examples to pattern after. What they represented was so outside of the human "norm", that they went on to inspire belief systems and dogmatic teachings and institutions. And that is the direction I want to go in, in terms of how to live, and have been little by little. I always sited my more relatable example of this to being Malcolm X, and I know some will disagree, but what I loved about him was that in his belief that he lived and died for, he did it out of a sense of selflessness and completely LIVED by the principles of Islam. So much that the people who originally supported him, being the Nation of Islam, had him killed, because their leader (Elijah Muhammad) who was supposed to be a righteous man and living deity to them, was caught up in the ego of being "better" than a man he taught about Allah and Islam that lived by the examples of it (Malcolm X) and that is what made him more respected. He lived by it TO THE DEATH, because his own group had him murdered over the view of competition to Elijah! And before he died, became more like a "Jesus" figure in his ideologies, when he stepped away from the race element of his beliefs. I believe he became enlightened, and all of this was in a man who came from poverty, but ended up being a leader who was a faithful husband, loving father, and would give the clothes off of his back to help a fellow brother. His story inspires me! As does the life of Jesus and Buddha and Gandhi as well.

The difference between them and the so called people who "claim" enlightenment is exactly what you said:

Perception and knowledge is one thing, complete livingness and putting it fully into practice those higher perceptions and knowledge is a whole other.

And that is where I am at. Seeing how people do not LIVE what they claim they are or represent. I want to be "better" than I have always been perceived to be. "Better" than the subversive lifestyle that I have been fed where the goals have been to "make money" or "look a certain way" or "survival of the fittest". All of that feels silly to me, and I believe that even if it isn't "enlightenment" by definition, shedding myself of the things I have always been surrounded by puts me into the discussion. I feel like this all plays a part in my ascension. The lesson I learned here is that that is not ego based, because that conflicts with truly being selfless. From here, I think I will be ok and I am excited to see where this all leads!

You're welcome.

   Kind of related to what Bardo and JG have written.  Lately, i've been receiving various messages from within and without, which have been outlining and encouraging certain degrees of spiritual potential.  Things relating to probable, full attunement to PUL within this life.  For one example, one of the first things Bruce's psychic friend Carolene said to me was that i was here for completion and full Christ Consciousness (my dreams and other inner messages have said very similar, and sometimes very directly).

   I've found that it's a bit hard to not let it go to my head to some extent, and mostly this comes out by aspects of me wanting to talk publicly about some of these messages and experiences.   I don't view or treat others any differently because of these messages and experiences, but there is some "ego" reaction there.  I view myself most often as just a channel, and i think everyone has the same potential, but if i am to be fully honest to self and others, i have occasional moments or temptations to feelings of "specialness", but i see them for what they are, limiting thoughts and emotional patterns  and i quickly redirect them.

  Lately i think i have been talking too much about it.  One of the things which has occurred to me, is that if i am to reach those levels which i'm being encouraged to reach, i will have to be less self focused and talk about these experiences MUCH less (if at all). 

  To some extent, this is a spiritual test, and right now i'm not getting an A plus, but more like a D-. 

  At the same time, i'm also being told to be more accepting and tolerant of self.  I must not forget that i'm still a relatively young man (32), and that such incoming information and messages would be difficult for anyone to handle in only a purely  graceful and humble manner--especially so for a younger person.   The human body is quite something to deal with!  I also know that my future is going to involve a lot of public interaction, and to some extent these forum interactions are practice runs of learning to take criticism and barbs and returning it with patience, humor, and tolerance.  If i didn't put myself out there more openly and honestly, i could not receive such tests as readily (kind of a catch 22 if there even was one)

  I have a spiritual friend who i think is handling a similar process better than i.  I need to learn from his example in this area.

  My Teacher also handled it much better than myself, and yet when he completed the process, he was not a wallflower.  He openly stated to others that Source and he was One.   He knew he was a "teacher" and he fully accepted that role, once he knew that he was truly ready and able to be a teacher is the truest and fullest sense. 

  I'm not ready, so i should shut my loud mouth.  I shared the above because i figure maybe some here can relate, and also probably because of the above lack in self i outlined to some extent. 

  I would ask you all to please pray for me--pray that i can keep humble, centered, balanced, loving, and focused on the needs of The Whole.  I need all the help i can get, especially right now.  Thank you.  Meanwhile, i think it's time for a forum vacation and to focus on writing this darn book.