now after reading rest of your message, replying to that:
...(thinking)...
(smiling)
Have you read all of Bruce Moen's afterlife books? In one of them he describes visiting a place where timelines are managed.
My impression of this and of my senses is that there are higher beings - like "angels" - who take care that everything fits together.
When looking at the world, just by looking out of the window and watching the streets with people and cars and houses etc., it seems that there is much less chaos and much more order than one would expect.
Also in individual lives, things seem to go more according to psychological principles than to physical principles. It looks like a hologram, and us individuals being small fractions of it.
There is no separation, and no coincidence, and no accidents.
I often get the impression that everything is perfect, and that it is only our restricted viewpoint that we don't see it, because we don't see all the pieces and connections.
When you tell what you saw and how you saw yourself making decisions and acting on them, I don't see anything wrong. What is described in the OT that I don't like because that was then and there and had its meaning, but not here and now, but most Christian religions and churches stick to the past, they have not understood and accepted and integrated Jesus' most basic teachings, and I love freedom and evolution and dislike what everyone dislikes.
I also have/had some faint memories of some past lives, and a strong ambiguous connection to Christianity, a history, and maybe now is the time to fix up some things.
Maybe it's time to bring / explain / demonstrate Jesus' teachings to the etablished religions' churches again, like Jesus himself did 2000 years ago.
When I can speak to people about it, I do it, but normally in Church there is not the chance to speak, these people come together for their divine service and listen to the Shepherd's sermon and sing their hymns and that's it.
I found that when I allow myself to go into inner resistance against it, then I can't help anyone because then I'm detached from the people, so I can't influence them.
But when I open my heart and allow as much intense unconditional love to go to the people there, then I can empower them more, so they can find their own power, and then they will find their way to clarity and their self.
I have given up myself I don't know how many years ago, so I listen to and act on my intuition, which comes from I don't know where, except that I feel that it comes from a much higher and wiser and more loving and much greater consciousness than I can imagine. If this source would tell me "jump out of the window", I would do it. Now it told me to engage myself in that church. Since last Wednesday I'm full-fledged official member. The next day (now six days ago) I fell backwards into a trapdoor and broke two ribs of mine, I don't know what it may be good for, I think it is for a purpose, and I can easily accept it, the physical pain is bearable, I really can't complain. So I just trust completely.
And continue working on myself to improve my usability as a tool for whatever the greater plan might be.
Personally, most times I would prefer not to exist, I'm really tired of existing, but at the moment I can't complain at all, it feels so exciting, like some big thing is coming, like a small child before christmas, knowing he is going to get something big, because the parents are making a big secret of it.