Quote:The difficult part is saying what self-love is, what loving yourself is.
Yes, it can be difficult not only to describe what self-love is, but also to actually do it. Sometimes people are filled with such self-hatred they don't even know where to begin the process of self-love.
To me self-love from a human perspective is essentially taking the responsibility to meet your own needs. On a physical level this means taking care of your needs on a bodily level; eating healthy food in the right amounts, exercising regularly, enjoying physical activities such sleeping, eating, sex, etc.
From an emotional standpoint, one needs to learn to develop a positive, understanding emotional relationship with one's self. This is where it usually gets more difficult since most of us are unwilling to completely accept ourselves the way we are. For example, feeling guilty for all intents and purposes is non-productive. Feeling guilty is essentially rejecting the state we are in, indicating that we are unwilling to accept ourselves the way we are in the moment. If we are feeling guilty for something we have either done or not done, then we are either procrastinating about doing something to rectify it, or we are still processing it, or we have made the choice to punish ourselves with guilt feelings because our actions did not express our integrity.
Many times it is far easier to feel guilty for something than it is to take the necessary action to maintain our integrity. We fear whatever it is we must do. It is easier to feel guilty than to face our fear, so here our guilt suppresses our fear, however that leads to self-rejection. And we choose self-rejection over fear.
It might sound ridiculous to someone who has not felt self-hatred or to someone who's in denial, but I think it is more than likely that the most epidemic health problem we have is self-hatred. Whenever you get to know anyone deeply, you will most likely see that inside that person there is a kernel of self-hatred inside them that runs very deep. Most of the time we use the term low self-esteem and inside each person resides a constant and ongoing struggle for self-esteem that covers up the self-hatred. We tend to measure ourselves based on a set of standards we learned in childhood.
We may not be conscious of it, but we try to prove our self worth to others and it shows in our behavior, both by overachieving and underachieving. We base our self-worth on what we expect of ourselves, many times demanding perfection from ourselves. Then when we don't achieve perfection we judge and reject ourselves. And when we do meet our own expectations, instead of acknowledging our accomplishment, allowing ourselves to feel satisfaction, we many times ignore and devalue it. It's no wonder why there are people who don't even try to accomplish anything. Like a vicious circle, they see the folly in the whole thing and simply refuse to participate. Unfortunately, they destroy their spirit, their life energy, their creativity and sometimes their bodies in the process.
The bottom line is to cultivate self-acceptance. Acceptance does not mean surrender. It means to deeply trust, love and accept our lives and ourselves no matter what. It means to really get to know our inner being, communing with it, identifying with it, and finding its divinity or finding God within the very core of our being. It means to live gracefully in the face of whatever life brings our way. Many have no idea how freeing taking out the emotional trash can be.
Kathy