mjd-

'Almost all research is funded by contributions from various entities (ie. individuals, corporations, government, etc.) and those financial backers want certain results (regardless of what the study actually shows). '

I think this is a big factor, limiting research into the afterlife.If there are no large profits to be made big companies are not interested and so organisations such as IONS,TMI and Windbridge rely on private donations from people sympathetic to their work.

Regarding science and scientists I believe it is important that scientists are honest with themselves regarding their prior expectations and beliefs and the effect this may have on their experiments. Ideally a scientist should go where the data takes them and theorise after seeing the data. Also these theories are contingent on the discovery of new data and never set in stone. There was an earlier thread on the Scole Experiements, for example, and I believe that it is unscientific to reject it out of hand a priori i.e prior to experience, because it could'nt happen or does'nt conform to prior expectations. The world may indeed be a wierd and wonderful place but we'll never know without a level of open mindedness !

D

Bardo wrote on Jan 16^th, 2012 at 10:03am:


Bardo,

You made me LOL. I've never heard that expression.

No, I never went back to that doctor. Unfortunately, he is not the only one I've met that way. There was an episode of "Designing Women" many years ago where someone found a lump or something. Julia (Dixie Carter) went to the person's doctor to ask for more information and he was smug and condescending toward her exclaiming "Let me do the worrying" to which she replied "And, will you do the dying for her?!?!?!"

There have been many times in my life I've volunteered to go with friends and strangers to the doctor, not so much because I believe modern medicine is the end-all-be-all solution, but because I believe the barrier to care for many people is fear of the unknown. In many cases, these people wanted to know, but where afraid to take that first step, so I would go with them just for moral support and to help ask questions they were too scared to ask or couldn't think of because of the anxiety of just being there. So, I've seen more than "my share" of that kind of doctor - both personally and with others. Eek. Fortunately, I've met a few of the good and knowledgeable kind as well.

Thanks for the laugh,
mj

'So, from a purely economic standpoint, it is more than clear why there is not and can not ever be any real effort to prove this information to the masses. It's just too easy to keep people toeing the line of dependency on the "higher ups" to seek consolation, forgiveness and salvation.'

MJ-

I am basically an optimist who believes we have made progress and will continue to do so. There was probably an economic argument that banning bear baiting and abolishing slavery would put bear baiters and slave traders out of business too- but those practices were still abolished ! I believe that the global mindset is changed increment by increment and each of us helps towards that when we choose open-mindedness over tunnel vision, curiosity wins over fear and dogma and enlightening ideas are shared on forums such as this ! You personally inspire when you share your choice of love over revenge and hate (even when many in your situation would have chosen the latter).That is how change happens- through the choices of individuals.

'A rising tide raises all ships' !

Dave

P.S. I intended to mention that I understand the learning comes from the experience, but I'm referring to situations where the decisions aren't creating any growth or understanding. It almost feels like I'm watching a movie on continuous play with the performers just changing roles.

heisenberg69 wrote on Jan 18^th, 2012 at 7:13am:


Hi D!

You are so right. Back in elementary school we were all given tests to measure our reading and math skills. I placed in high school levels for both, so I was relegated to the office to file papers and answer phones during those classes. Needless to say, that got pretty boring. I decided to ask if I could help with the other classes and it was granted. Thus, my love of helping people bridge the gap between the lesson and how they understood it. I tutored many, many students over the years and it is always a glorious moment when I see that spark pop in their eyes when they "get it"! It is great. Now...if I can just figure out how to do that for myself.

Kind regards,
mj

heisenberg69 wrote on Jan 18^th, 2012 at 2:59pm:


Hi D,

Thanks. I guess I just feel like I've not managed to really understand what I am "to do" with the gifts I've been given. I mean, not only have I not effected any kind of change within my family (and what other purpose could there be for me to be so openly hated by them?) but they've managed to cause grief and strife in other areas of my life. It's really hard constantly starting over and picking up the pieces. And, whether or not I agreed to it before I was born into this body, it's just more than I'm capable of handling and I just want some peace.

There is a small part (I guess it's selfish) that wants to have real parents - people I can turn to when I'm tired or frustrated or unsure. I want to have big family meals together with them enjoying their grandchildren. I want to have at least ONE photograph of me with my family (they put all my siblings photos up, but never mine). I want my children to be loved and cherished the way other grandparents cherish and love theirs and I feel responsible because the only reason they are ignored and hated is because I am ignored and hated. Yes, I'm aware none of this matters in the afterlife, but, right now, today, I'm living on this plane and the rejection is incredibly painful.

The only thing I know how to do is continue to love and to be a different kind of parent to my children. I can and do cherish each moment with them and try to help them feel safe, secure and accepted. I want them to know, without any doubt or hesitation, that I will ALWAYS be there for them (not to prevent them from growing into responsible adults but,) to be the foundation of never-ending love and support throughout their lives. Various people blamed me for what happened in my family. They told me that I didn't understand because I didn't have children (I'm an "older" parent). Yet, now that I do, I find myself being less understanding of what they did to me. I see my precious children, their vulnerabilities, desires to be heard, their sweet laughter and silly jokes and I find myself unable to fathom what happened to me. I would meet death before I caused harm to my children or allowed anyone else to. Yet, those decisions ruled my life not only without hesitation, but with over-the-top pleasure at doing so.

I guess what I'm saying is I'm afraid that I've become less forgiving and understanding as I've aged. I don't feel the emotion of hatred or jealousy so I don't have anything to compare that to. However, I have felt unconditional love and now I've changed the rules. When it was just me, I had no trouble going back and trying once again. Now, I absolutely refuse to subject my children to it and although I know that's the safest solution for all of us, it causes me to feel like I failed - failed at being a strong enough example that at least one of my relationships within my family (immediate or extended) could have been salvaged. Instead, it's become a mob mentality of ostracization toward me and my current family. And, in that, I can't help but wonder "What's the point?" My tolerance, love, ability to forgive and to try again haven't changed anything which is what led to initial post on this forum. If I can't figure out this major lesson in my life, I will come back and have to repeat it and I just don't have any idea how to make it better. 

Regards,
mj

P.S. In the interest of not confusing the matter, this is not an issue I only face within my family. I've dealt with it in the workplace (some experiences were posted in another discussion) and in other relationships. I use my family of origin situation as the core example because it's been the longest and most intense, but the "question" is repeating throughout many other relationships in my life.

DocM wrote on Jan 19^th, 2012 at 9:40am:


Hi Matthew,

Thank you for your post. I do not want or expect an apology. I have forgiven my family and I do not want anything from them other than for them to find some peace and comfort in their old age. I'm hesitant to write anything else because I think it may be misinterpreted as me being selfish.

Thanks again,
mj