The other day someone on Facebook sent me a video about the wakeupthefilm.com video, about a man who suddenly began to see spiritual beings and how it affected his life. Watching the trailer did something to my consciousness. Although I have meditated, sent healing via Reiki, practiced healing touch, and carried out soul retrievals for years, still after watching this short trailer I experienced a remarkable change in how I perceive and experience the power of energy when working on others or meeting with my dear departed family members. The "ball" of energy I start with when working with Reiki to send healing became a vividly real expanding ball of healing light, so very real it became an actual tool I can manipulate and send on a new level I could not access before...at least, it feels that way. Going to meet with family members has suddenly got all the baloney pushed out of the way. Like before, I had to go through this and that and struggle with visualizations and so on before anything happened, now it is just, like RIGHT NOW, I just pick who I hope to meet with, or find one who has "time" to chat. I had been putting many false obstacles between myself and the non physical, creating an unnecessary wrestling match every time I went in.
Today I asked to meet someone who had some time to chat, and my older sister, Wanda, came forward with her beautiful smile..Wanda was always the prettiest, most beautiful family member of all of us. She had auburn hair, the only one who did, she had the beauty of a movie star. I loved her so much but she disappeared from our lives when she was still an adolescent and never came home again. But we had a friendship much later in life. She died of Alzheimers which started for her in her 50's, which sometimes happens.
Today she came forward to spend "time" with me and the topic of the day was my endless tendency to wallow in sadness over past events. It spoils my sleep sometimes and I guess a lot of people do this. We can't change the past and our own individual history seems so frustrating, we can see so easily how we could have done everything right...if we had only had hindsight ahead of time!
I started off humbly asking Wanda if she could see if I would win the lottery, as I had been promised this event a couple of years ago, and it hasn't transpired yet although I always buy a ticket. I even was told which particular lottery I would win, this was in a teacup reading when the word "lottomax" was handwritten into my teacup with a tiny "TM" mark above the "x" of the word. I had no idea of the timing, however.
The answer, if I read it right, indicated it will be a couple more years before the exciting event, so this had the welcome effect of making me let go of the emotional pull of the expectation. A nice relief. Then the next topic that came up was my tendency to wallow in sadness. I asked her and my angels if I could have some help with this, so I could enjoy life more fully again.
I was given an image at once, of a huge gift at the bottom of a Christmas tree, with a big red ribbon on it. I saw myself leaning on the box and feeling so rested and joyful. But I argued, saying, but there are so many things I could have done differently if I had known better...and the next image came up along with the tune "Church in the Wildwood",only the image was of an old fashioned schoolhouse in the woods with a stairway leading up to the entrance to the schoolroom. So I understood that there had been learning, not only for me, but for all of us involved in each frustrating and sad event, and then a thought-ball came from Wanda to me (and she had this lovely smile of hers while all this was going on), that once you graduate from a schoolroom, do you spend all your time reviewing past lessons? When you take a course, do you complete it and then spend the rest of your life going over the old lessons? Do you keep the hardcopies of the lessons on your bedside table forever to keep it all fresh in your mind? No, you leave off doing that old coursework and you sign on for new stuff, to keep learning. The old work will block the incoming new stuff if you keep looking at it all the time. So I agreed, but then I asked, Are you sure it's ok to stop punishing myself for mistakes I made so long ago? It feels right to keep on suffering! I was reminded that I am blocking new learning by hanging onto the old. As we walked along, we came to a fabulous waterfall, which often appears when I am doing any kind of non physical work, and it was surrounded by woods and natural beauty. I looked around and was grateful she brought me there. Then I asked her if some of my favorite and familiar angels could help me learn to let go of the sadness, and if she would help me too. I was sent an immediate image of a huge, tall Christmas tree, and I remembered that I always wanted a huge tree sometime, though I've never got around to getting one yet. At the very top of the tree, so high I could hardly see it, stood my favorite and ever-present Angel of light, sending down to me a shaft of brilliant light. Then I had an image of myself graduating from school, wearing my mortarboard, a graduate. And I saw a mortar and pestel, and saw that I have been pounding myself to dust with that pestel, pounding myself into the mortar, and if I didn't stop there would be nothing left to work with! The other thing that happened all during this interlude was that Wanda kept making it impossible to walk as she kept reaching over and grabbing me and hugging me to her side, lifting my feet right up off the ground as we walked along, hugging me so tight I could hardly breathe. I felt like a little kid with her, remembering she used to teach me to dance and swim and stuff. After a few more minutes I said my thanks and asked her a bit about our grandparents, who she knew from early childhood but I never knew. And then I expressed my gratitude and went to make lunch.

What lovely posts, Vee - thanks so much for sharing!  I am going to try to get hold of the film you mention

Thanks, Bardo. Yes, it's a relief to know I can let go of the past...someone recently, in some home biz email I never heard of that came into my inbox, described obsessing about the past as..the exhausting, painful past. The tricky thing about life and probably death as well, is that in all likelihood, when I get over there and learn what's what, I'll find out that everything that happened that I helped happen by my "mistakes", it was all just like it was supposed to happen and I did good or something. Murphy's law, you know. Anyway, thanks for the reminder tonight, glad to come in and see your email to remind me, no obsessing with the past tonight...but what on earth will I do with my night time thoughts??? I'll have to meditate or something!

Hi Lucy. Well, I always hope to find these movies when they come out, but I never hear anything about them after the initial buzz about the trailers so that will probably be all I see of it. But many people on this Board could make similar movies of the experiences they have had, but it takes a certain skill to know how to do that.

Hi Vee,

I liked how you were leaning on the "present" feeling rested and joyful.  I've recently learned that lesson too, then went through a very difficult heartwrenching experience, lost that focus, and am finally beginning to come back to it through lots of meditation and prayer and guidance. 

What you get out of and take away from your experiences is so wonderful, wonderful to see how you allow it to help and transform you in your time of need.  We can only do that being focused on the present and allowing us to move at our own pace.  We'll move up and graduate when we're ready.  I think each time we ask a question, we already know the answer but we might not let ourselves really feel it til we're really ready to advance to the next lesson.