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What's wrong with me? (Read 6527 times)
Sheba4
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What's wrong with me?
Oct 4th, 2011 at 7:14pm
 
Please accept my apologies if I am posting in the wrong forum, but I have had so many strange occurrences to where I am at a lost as to where to start.

Since I was a child, I have had the ability to sense, see, and communicate with "spirits". Some have been cruel, but most were friendly. As I have aged, I have BLOCKED(intentionally) my ability to communicate with them, but now I have started experiencing some things that leave me in awe...Someone please help me figure this out.

At least once a month, I find myself soaring/flying through the solar system, around the moon, and off to another world that actually has a real city where others walk around and talk to...guides maybe? But, they don't seem to be aware of one another or my presence, but I am entirely aware of them. Then I go take a seat on the steps of what leads to a beautiful flowing waterfall...and then the same man that I see ALL THE TIME in my dreams, shows up...and it is as if visited this city purposely to find and talk to him. He always seemed humored to see me...as if i am a complaining child of his that he loves too much to scold.  Then I start complaining about how much the earth sucks and that the people "just don't get it", and that the people are hopeless and that I don't want to stay on earth any longer and I demand to be able to come home at once!!!??? He patiently listens and reminds me that I understood the journey before I "left" and just to be patient that my journey wasn't complete. I go on for what seems like hours...complaining and demanding to "come home"..until i am told, yet again to return to earth! All of a sudden, I am being like...sucked back to earth with a speed that I can't describe...I turn around (although I am not in my body...I don't see it, but I am aware of myself..? I see the earth...even the light that illuminates around it. I wake up..and sit straight up...angry that I am back, but then i become frightened that I actually experienced something that was too real to be fake! I am not suicidal, but I have always felt that there was more to life than what most of my peers and family accepted. I come from a Christian background, but I still have this feeling and knowing that even they miss the point!? When I am not with this "man" in this city, He and I are soaring all over the world helping people that are in dire need of help. I have had people/strangers break down in tears when they see me and tell me that I have helped them when they were being viciously attacked and that I was in the company of a very tall man..and that he seemed powerful and unreal!! God knows I tell you all no lie!!! What is wrong with me? my husband thinks I am crazy...I woke up a few years ago and told him that I dreamt that me and my male "friend" fought off a bear that was attacking a wheelchair bound young man in a field...hours later on the news, it was reported that a wheelchair bound youth was attacked on his family farm as he parents sat helplessly and watch. Immediately,  they witnessed the bear starting to fight off something behind it..and the bear was actually swinging at something or someone that was not visible by anyone but the bear. The husband chalked it off as a "mad bear", but the mother called it help from a guardian angel!...My husband has been afraid of me since!! HELP ME!! Why is this happening to me...and what am i expected to do....I feel like I am suppose to be doing something, but I don't know what it is!! Please Help!! I have so many other experiences, but i don't want to seem fanatical! However, i must talk to someone about this...I live in a small town and if you aren't talking about Jesus....then your pleas go unheard.! I pray that I haven't offend any of you! Peace and Blessings!
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Vicky
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Re: What's wrong with me?
Reply #1 - Oct 4th, 2011 at 7:30pm
 
Hi Sheba4 and welcome!

All I can say is wow!  I wish I was having such experiences as that. 

You posted where you were supposed to, by the way.  It's exciting to read such an account.  Either you are making it all up and I'll be very disappointed, or you're telling the truth and sharing very real experiences and looking for support, answers, and guidance.  I am leaning toward believing you're telling the truth.   Smiley

The account with the wheelchair is fascinating since you saw direct confirmation of it on the news.  I've learned to trust and believe any little amount of confirmation I get because it will open your perception and skills further.  Don't downplay it or talk yourself out of it.  I hope you're keeping logs of your experiences and having more that gets verified.  I hope you're joking that your husband is afraid of you! 

I can see why you're scared but there's no reason to be.  I'd suggest you continue studying your experiences, asking your Guidance questions, and receiving the answers you receive.  Then ask more questions.  You can even ask to have a specific type of experience and ask to have verification that it's real. 

I'm interested in hearing what other experiences you've had, or more of these.  This is wild!  I'm excited to hear more. 

You might want to read the articles available on this site and read Bruce Moen's books as well.  You'll learn so much and have things answered that you didn't even know how to ask about.  There's a lot of help on this site too...a lot of experienced and knowledgable people with...believe it or not...just the same type of crazy experiences as you've had.  You are not alone!

Vicky
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recoverer
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Re: What's wrong with me?
Reply #2 - Oct 4th, 2011 at 7:50pm
 
Hello Sheba4 and thank you for sharing:

I understand what you mean by not belonging in this World. I've had experiences that let me know that life in this World isn't what my existence is truly about, but I have things to accomplish, so I stay here.

I communicate with spirits a lot, some of them are unfriendly, but fortunately the friendly ones are also around. Smiley

Some near death experiencers speak of how they don't like having to come back to this World.

I once saw a video where near death experiencer Dannion Brinkley told a guy during an interview that we are having a near death experience while here in this World. They found that quite funny, and so did I. Grin 

I let some of my coworkers know about a couple of books I wrote recently. After years of working with them they just found out that I claim to communicate with spirits. Some of them probably think I'm nuts. Oh well. Cheesy
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Oliver
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Re: What's wrong with me?
Reply #3 - Oct 4th, 2011 at 8:02pm
 
i would recommend to stay well grounded on earth, be aware of both worlds, but train in keeping a stable focus of where you are at any given time. when you are in your physical body, then keep focus there.
i trust that there is a reason for this situation we are in and that there are 'guides' or 'higher forces' who know why it is reasonable and worth the hassle.
actually a part of me 'knows' all about it and is fully conscious and aware of higher reality, but the 'normal awake' consciousness in physical body is not, and when living on material plane on earth - which i consider just another dream world - i think we deliberately focus on the 'dream' and suppress other impressions.
i'm sure there is a reason for it, and i think it is part of the rules of the game that we do not know everything what we normally do know.
be patient, trust your guides, you are not alone, we are all in the same situation, more or less, with some variations, but the main theme is the same.
Wink Smiley
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Sheba4
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Re: What's wrong with me?
Reply #4 - Oct 4th, 2011 at 8:08pm
 
Ms. Vicky,

I am grateful for your prompt response! When it comes to making things like this up, I refuse to, as I do not want to be responsible for possibly hindering someone else's journey here.

As for writing my experiences down, I use to years ago, but once I had an aunt find my journal, read it, and then went on to tell people that I was an evil person possessed, as I seemed to have a discerning spirit..in her words. She said that because some of the things that happened within the family, like tragic events, were PRE-DATED in my dream journal. I don't always "see" the events that soon occur, but rather, I see them in flashes..like on a screen...in snippets...but the entire time my guide is explaining the bigger mystery/knowledge behind the events so that I can understand, and possibly help others understand some tragedy. My experiences are so all over the place that I don't know what to make of them, but the ones that I love most are the ones that come to me when I am at my lowest point, either stressing out over something, or hurt feelings..(I am not that easily hurt, so when i hurt...I hurt) during those times...when I fall asleep, I find myself in a open pasture...filled with beautiful green grass and a smooth landscape..all is silent around me and suddenly a wind begins to blow and this wind is sooo powerful..yet it does not knock me down, nor sway me, I just feel and sense its power. Suddenly, a light that is the most beautiful light I have ever seen appears in the heavens and this light engulfs me...it talks to me...not literally, but to my heart...and I feel a love that I have yet to experience on this earth, and my tears are no longer tears of grief but pure joy. This "voice reassures me and tells me that "IT" sees me, and is always with me.I am so caught up in bathing in that Love...that Power, that I forget all about the things that grieved me. However, when i come back to (awake), I bawl like a baby! I want to go back into that light so bad, but I know I can't..I usually am anti-social shortly thereafter, as I want to not lose the memory of the experience. Other times, my guide just comes to me, but I don't go searching for him...I actually try to hide from him because during those times I just want to have my own private pity party...but then he shows up and he begins to affectionately remind me that there is a season and purpose for all things, and that most of them are things that I chose for myself, he reminds me to let go of myself??..and to question why the people that hurt me...hurt me or others for that matter..He usually goes on to convince me to reach out to that person so that I can help them "undderstand" and find their purpose. I can tell you this, after these motivating expereinces, my broken spirit and heart is mended and I arise with a better sense of things. I awaken and suddenly I have figured out the resolution to most of my troubles, though not all.

As for my husband...Lol...he is not afraid of me as in I am psychotic, but he is more awe struck if anything. I wake up and tell him my dreams only to find out that I was penetrating his dream...he says I am nosey even while asleep!! Hehehe But, he just doesn't know how to take me. He is convinced that I am called by God or something...I tell him that we are ALL called by God, so that his explanation does not help me figure out my situation! Lol...Of course, i have a flip mouth! But, I don't see myself as someone "special" in that sense...I'm just me...albeit I have some "weird" characteristics. I understand concepts before they are explained to me...just weird!! I am seeking help, Ms. Vicki, but the Web is so filled with self-gratifying fake bologna that I don't know where to start looking for reliable sources who are passionate about this. I don't want to take advantage of people and tell them lies just to appease their low desires, I want to know why am i this way and what can I do to reach out to others that are this way...I can't be alone in this! That would freak me out!!  I just wish that I could turn off these abilities sometimes...I can't even meet people without being able to sense what they are thinking, if they are sincere, etc...all kinds of silly things that I rarely find relevant.  I am a mess! Shocked
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Vicky
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Re: What's wrong with me?
Reply #5 - Oct 4th, 2011 at 8:26pm
 
That was a beautiful passage you wrote describing your light/love/voice experience.  There IS NO faking that love and peaceful feeling you're describing. 

I've had many bizarre experiences, published them in a book, and am working on a second book sharing how I've learned to develop my psychic abilities which we ALL have.  I choose to call them "psychic" because it's a simple term, but a lot of people think of that term as not being very spiritually oriented.  To the contrary, it is exactly spiritually oriented!  It's how you choose to use what you know which makes the difference.

Will you buy Bruce's first book and read it?  And if you don't get gobs of meaning and answers from it that help explain your own experiences I'll be very, very shocked.  I know of reputable people who say the same as I, "It wasn't until I learned what Bruce teaches that I finally understood all of the experiences I've been having all my life."  It's true.  He teaches not just about Retrieval but also about what nonphysical perception and nonphysical reality are.  If it weren't for me learning about those two concepts, I'd still be completely lost and baffled about my life. 

No offense but your aunt is a lunatic  Wink and you need to hide your journal better.  You will learn quite a lot just from writing down your experiences (or typing them) and studying them.  By that I mean, think of questions that come to mind and ask them.  Just think or say them out loud.  That's what talking to your guide (or Guidance) is all about.  You will begin noticing yourself receiving answers in some form.  You probably already are since you are already aware that you're psychic, among other skills.  Your ability for recall and how you perceive in such detail, for instance, is already one of the abilities I'm talking about.  That alone is the first step.  I believe all of us are having such experiences but most people don't remember them.  And even when they remember just a bit of it, they quickly brush it aside as nonsense or a meaningless dream.  Such a waste.  You've got real ability and skill and talent.  I'm glad you've come here to share your experiences.  I hope you'll stick around, meet a lot of great and helpful people here, and find what you're looking for. 

Vicky
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Sheba4
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Re: What's wrong with me?
Reply #6 - Oct 4th, 2011 at 9:22pm
 
@Mr. Oliver...wow! That makes perfect sense! I try to maintain a balance, but some days are harder than others. Also, I agree with you about "a part of you knowing all about it", for when I am in these other realms, I "know" everything. Here in my daily walk, this knowing is hidden beneath the surface; however, it comes out when it is needed to reach out to someone. Question: have you ever "visited" other planets/worlds? And are you always with the same "person". Do you ever feel like you are supposed to share these experiences?



@ Ms. Vicki, I pray that you have just as many of those experiences as I have, but I perceive that you you have had your own similar experiences. Only difference is that you don't seem to question it as much as I do, but are much more accepting of it. Moreover, you seem like a very old soul that just keeps coming back to play your game of hide and seek...in other words, you like to see how often you can come back and still remember the place(s) from which you came...does that make sense? It's like an intriguing and enjoyable journey for you! Yes, I will purchase one of his books, I am a bit anxious ...as if i have spoken with him before or met him before...it's quite odd, i know. AND OMG!! You said "spiritual"..I am in awe because all of these experiences that I have had have a very strong spiritual aspect to them. And most times, i am spoken to by my guide with him using parables that you could deem "biblical" yet, they are not written in the bible...it's just the similarities are there. I will take your advise and resume my dream journal. Thankfully, I have matured and am no longer bothered by the rantings of my troubled aunt! Thank you so much! And I will take advantage of the wonders of this cite....so far it feels as if a boulder has lifted off of me!  Grin
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Sheba4
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Re: What's wrong with me?
Reply #7 - Oct 4th, 2011 at 9:32pm
 
@ Ms. Vicky...what is the title of your book and where can I find it?
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Sheba4
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Reply #8 - Oct 4th, 2011 at 9:36pm
 
@ Recoverer...you are a breath of fresh air! It was a pleasure to share, especially since I have met such understanding people! And what is the name of your book? This is great!
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Vicky
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Re: What's wrong with me?
Reply #9 - Oct 4th, 2011 at 9:52pm
 
That's so funny....I love your description of me coming back and trying to remember where I came from.  It must be true.  I vividly remember as a child, like 5 or 6, and SO MAD that I couldn't remember where I was before this life.  I remember thinking that I should be able to remember and driving my mom nuts asking her how I could get my memory back!  I said, "How can I know what to do if I can't remember what I've already done?"  I literally remember pacing, so mad about this, and my mom telling me it didn't matter what other lives I've had and that I could just do what I wanted to in this one.    Smiley

My book is called Persephone's Journey.  I have a link at the bottom of my posts.  It is on Amazon.

Vicky
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Re: What's wrong with me?
Reply #10 - Oct 5th, 2011 at 12:43pm
 
Sheba4:

Thank you for the breath of fresh air comment.

One book is called "A Night in Heaven." It is available at amazon.com and barnesandnoble.com. My name is "Albert Haust."

In the very near future another book I wrote will also be available. It is called: "Joining the Oneness - Beyond Nonduality."






Sheba4 wrote on Oct 4th, 2011 at 9:36pm:
@ Recoverer...you are a breath of fresh air! It was a pleasure to share, especially since I have met such understanding people! And what is the name of your book? This is great!

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Re: What's wrong with me?
Reply #11 - Oct 7th, 2011 at 10:38pm
 
Sheba4 wrote on Oct 4th, 2011 at 8:08pm:
...I want to know why am i this way and what can I do to reach out to others that are this way...I can't be alone in this! That would freak me out!!...


We are what we are due to what we have been through and our decisions, attitudes and efforts along the way.

I used to be puzzled about why I am what I am, until I learnt to see my past; now I understand myself a little better. But I still have puzzles and confusions, ups and downs - that's life.   

There's quite a lot of people like you around, and every sort of other type too. Don't go thinking you're something special - that's an easy slip to make.

The effort is to live out physically what we are spiritually; that is, to speak and act according to our highest rightest sense. Easier said than done, of course.  

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Re: What's wrong with me?
Reply #12 - Oct 26th, 2011 at 3:07pm
 
Sheba4...what a number of amazing experiences.  It appears you are going to live a wonderfully entertaining life, with tremendous discoveries forthcoming.  My best wishes for your incredible journey.
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Re: What's wrong with me?
Reply #13 - Oct 27th, 2011 at 9:26am
 
Greetings Sheba4,

Nothing's wrong with you. You can find similiar adventures described here on this site and back through the ages by fine people, so you are in good company.  Smiley

Nothing to add to what's been said, exceptmaybe reminders to keep healthy and continue to live in love. Here we often call it PUL for short -- Pure Unconditional Love.

There's an international site for keeping personal spiritual journals so that aunts don't find them. Will look it up and post again.  It's  link is here on this site already, just have to track it down.

Betson

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There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
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Re: What's wrong with me?
Reply #14 - Oct 27th, 2011 at 1:19pm
 
Sheba4 - do what all Explorers do - have fun!

In other words - transform your experience/there into experience/here. Write a book and share with others. Record audio stories and share with others. Or do some paintings. Make something of your experiences, so they can help others or give them fun.

For example, just by writing stories or guided exercises that stimulate imagination or encourage people to ask questions or see the world from different perspective - you learn about yourself, and you are dedicating yourself to something of value. Bob Monroe wrote 3 books, and made a lot of sound gadgets related to his experiences. Bruce Moen wrote 5 books (-: I wrote one book and made a lot of sound gadgets related to my experiences. Express yourself in a creative way, finding balance in becoming aware of what we - the children of this Earth - are.

If you are looking for best guidance - become your own guide. What would you recommend to someone, who would come to you, and said to you, what you said here? How would you convince them, encourage them, show them, to make clear for them?

p.s.: and learn to purify your language of exploration/description. Transparency is something, that helps to stay beyond conflicted beliefs. For example - ask proper and neutral questions, to answers you have found, and give the brainstorm of options without implying that they "must" be real and absolute.
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