Ms. Vicky,
I am grateful for your prompt response! When it comes to making things like this up, I refuse to, as I do not want to be responsible for possibly hindering someone else's journey here.
As for writing my experiences down, I use to years ago, but once I had an aunt find my journal, read it, and then went on to tell people that I was an evil person possessed, as I seemed to have a discerning spirit..in her words. She said that because some of the things that happened within the family, like tragic events, were PRE-DATED in my dream journal. I don't always "see" the events that soon occur, but rather, I see them in flashes..like on a screen...in snippets...but the entire time my guide is explaining the bigger mystery/knowledge behind the events so that I can understand, and possibly help others understand some tragedy. My experiences are so all over the place that I don't know what to make of them, but the ones that I love most are the ones that come to me when I am at my lowest point, either stressing out over something, or hurt feelings..(I am not that easily hurt, so when i hurt...I hurt) during those times...when I fall asleep, I find myself in a open pasture...filled with beautiful green grass and a smooth landscape..all is silent around me and suddenly a wind begins to blow and this wind is sooo powerful..yet it does not knock me down, nor sway me, I just feel and sense its power. Suddenly, a light that is the most beautiful light I have ever seen appears in the heavens and this light engulfs me...it talks to me...not literally, but to my heart...and I feel a love that I have yet to experience on this earth, and my tears are no longer tears of grief but pure joy. This "voice reassures me and tells me that "IT" sees me, and is always with me.I am so caught up in bathing in that Love...that Power, that I forget all about the things that grieved me. However, when i come back to (awake), I bawl like a baby! I want to go back into that light so bad, but I know I can't..I usually am anti-social shortly thereafter, as I want to not lose the memory of the experience. Other times, my guide just comes to me, but I don't go searching for him...I actually try to hide from him because during those times I just want to have my own private pity party...but then he shows up and he begins to affectionately remind me that there is a season and purpose for all things, and that most of them are things that I chose for myself, he reminds me to let go of myself??..and to question why the people that hurt me...hurt me or others for that matter..He usually goes on to convince me to reach out to that person so that I can help them "undderstand" and find their purpose. I can tell you this, after these motivating expereinces, my broken spirit and heart is mended and I arise with a better sense of things. I awaken and suddenly I have figured out the resolution to most of my troubles, though not all.
As for my husband...Lol...he is not afraid of me as in I am psychotic, but he is more awe struck if anything. I wake up and tell him my dreams only to find out that I was penetrating his dream...he says I am nosey even while asleep!! Hehehe But, he just doesn't know how to take me. He is convinced that I am called by God or something...I tell him that we are ALL called by God, so that his explanation does not help me figure out my situation! Lol...Of course, i have a flip mouth! But, I don't see myself as someone "special" in that sense...I'm just me...albeit I have some "weird" characteristics. I understand concepts before they are explained to me...just weird!! I am seeking help, Ms. Vicki, but the Web is so filled with self-gratifying fake bologna that I don't know where to start looking for reliable sources who are passionate about this. I don't want to take advantage of people and tell them lies just to appease their low desires, I want to know why am i this way and what can I do to reach out to others that are this way...I can't be alone in this! That would freak me out!! I just wish that I could turn off these abilities sometimes...I can't even meet people without being able to sense what they are thinking, if they are sincere, etc...all kinds of silly things that I rarely find relevant. I am a mess!