Sandrine
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Posts: 1
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Soon I'll turn 18. Since I was a little girl weird things are happening to me. Something's started when I was about 3 years old. When I was lying in my bed with closed eyes, in a dark room I had a very strange feeling, which is very hard to describe. A kind of pressure, fear of the unknown. I saw undescribable colorful and at the same time dark images and I falling or rising sensation. I was told by my parents that it's just a bad dream. I thought so. This very short, quickly happening dream became intense, I 'dreamt' with it very much. I was told to not care about it. I don't know when, it stopped for a while. (I have to mention that this dream's grown little by little since my childhood until now). Then I rarely started experiencing it again but I tried to not care about it. It's just a bad dream - I thought. Recently, since 1 year I just can't look at it as a bad dream. Last night I had it again. What happened: I lied in my bed with closed eyes in my dark room. Suddenly a ringing in my left ear started, I saw those images and I felt a sensation like I'd go through a tunnel and I felt a weird feeling in my body, something like a tingling feeling. Then I felt a weird kind of pressure, at the same time pulling and pushing pressure. My breathing slowed down, until I hardly even breathe. First I got scared, that I'll die because I almost don't breathe, but I realized that I almost don't need to breathe. Then the fast changing images suddenly stopped. The pressure, tingling feeling's gone. I saw nothing, but darkness. Then I felt like I'm rising up, going out of my body. It was like magic, I'm lying and my 'soul' or I don't know what is leaving my body. At the same time I started seeing blurry, shiny dots far away and as I was rising, those dots became clearer and I realized that what I see are stars. I got closer and closer to the starry sky. My mind was peaceful, my body was so relaxed that I couldn't even feel it. When I realized that I started thinking, maybe I can't get back, I'm dying or something. So I tried moving, etc. What's weird that I've gone almost this far before. The new thing is that I didn't experience this 'without body' feeling and when I wanted to go back I went through that tunnel or something. This time no. I couldn't make myself escape. I feel like I've changed. I feel so relaxed as never before. Somehow that 'I wanna do this and that' feeling of mine suddenly disappeared. I'm peaceful and all I want to do is nothing, just helping others. I can't find my 'egoist' side (Don't get me wrong, I was not that egoist, just as much as generally people are). Somehow I feel like the things which meant to me so much and to others are not useful. There's something else which I don't know yet, I just feel like there's something which is very important, meaningful, but I just don't know what it is. I don't feel like time is important anymore. I would like to find out what's happening to me. Why is it? Am I going crazy? What's that?! Thank you very much for your help!
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