Vicky
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HI Andy, welcome.
I am so deeply sorry to hear about the loss of your son, and it wasn't very long ago. I can't imagine how you're doing well enough to even be here talking about it. My kids are 15 and 13, but I couldn't imagine losing either one of them at any age. My heart goes out to you as I read your story.
But when I read what you've been saying about the good feelings you've been receiving, it makes sense how you're "ok" at this point. It sounds like you're receiving a lot of counseling spiritually, nonphysically, while you sleep. Doesn't that seem to make sense to you? I hope at this time you and your partner are getting plenty of sleep to help with the healing process, because especially during times of great stress and change in our lives our sleep/dream time is a time where we can receive a great amount of spiritual comfort and growth. The feelings you're waking up with are proof of that, so please remember them, write them down, and remind yourself of those feelings. They are real and they are important.
You're probably already doing this, but I would suggest you talk to your son in your thoughts, tell him anything you feel, and just really make it your intention to connect with him. This will not only bring you peace of mind, comfort, and relief, but may also facilitate receiving some answers that those doctors can't provide for you.
Again, my heart goes out to you. I can't imagine having lost one of my children back then, or now. As a parent, you see countless times when you're near panic thinking the worst has happened. Our son once wandered off in an antique store and I went "mad" screaming at everyone "Stop, look for my son!" I screamed at the checkout clerk to lock the front doors so that no one could leave. Yes, I went crazy until we found him hiding and playing with a toy he'd wanted. My husband couldn't believe I'd act so nuts, but hey, what if someone was kidnapping our son? He was only 2! And once when my daughter was 1, we lost her at Sears department store. (We ARE great parents, despite these two stories!) And again, I went screaming mad, yelling at the top of my lungs, "Everyone, I can't find my baby. She's 1 and she looks just like me! Find her!" I got everyone's attention at that moment, and luckily a group of people called to me saying they had found her. And another time, when my daughter left the house on her own when she was 4....the list goes on and on. And it just never ends. Even now that they are teenagers, I still can't imagine if something were to happen to them. I just thank God every day for them.
I wish you well with the new baby on the way, and wish you so much joy and happiness. I know that many of our questions never get answered in life, but I do believe everything happens for a reason, even if we don't know why. I'm so happy both of you are dealing with it ok and having so much family support, even in their dreams too.
It really sounds like you have a gift for connecting to the other side. I would not be surprised if you continue to have spiritual experiences surrounding your son as time goes on. He will never leave you and you may be feeling his presence in different ways now and then, not just in dreams but in waking life too.
I just wish I could give you a big hug.
Vicky
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