Mathew,
Is feeling loss, and fearing the desolation it creates in us, really an ego-based reaction? It seems to me that it is a reaction built into the unit we inhabit here on earth. A process which includes the inevitable separation from one we love, but that does not necessarily indicate self-indulgance.  The deep suffering is part of the process of separation, but surely a more transcendant sense of our place in the cosmos and connection to it, can be the result, or a result of the process?  Here's hoping things work out okay for you and yours.
Bardo-

Hi Volu,

Glad to see you in a good mood this morning.  I don't really feel like answering your attack in full, other than to say that I "walk the walk" of my convictions.  If I told you about the charitable work I do, etc., then I'd be blowing my own horn and indulging my own ego.  Not today, at least. 

I do disagree with you on a number of points.  The notion that those who believe that love is the answer or in PUL have to "get up" and give away their possessions, and hike across the nation doing selfless works is nonsense.  That path may appeal to some, but for me, the answer has been to apply it in everyday situations in the real world.  As such, I see nothing wrong with having a family, a house, etc. and trying to act/be more loving.  Just because you hear us speak of love or PUL on this board, does not mean we are sitting around waiting to start incorporating it into our minds and lives.  If you get tired of hearing about it - pick another thread. 

While I don't disagree that my individual perceptive consciousness is not the same as my ego, I think that the idea of separateness and isolation that comes from being incarnate is in fact an illusion that binds solidly with our egos.  So in some ways, the grand experiment of individuality necessarily feeds the egos and ego based action of we earthly beings.

With love,

Matthew

DocM,

"Glad to see you in a good mood this morning.  I don't really feel like answering your attack in full, other than to say that I "walk the walk" of my convictions."

Haha. A little touch of emotion and the knees start to buckle. How is love going to grow beyond exchanging digital kisses and hugs, evolving to the revered point of being unconditional, if that's all it takes to erect and fearfully hide behind a shield? You don't have to like the clarity in which I paint my pictures, but to dismiss the response as an attack very much looks like drowning in shallow waters.

I'm proposing that the majority who hearts unconditional can't handle being unconditional. In this case, mere words, removed from the intensity of the "real world", was way too big a challenge. And for that you're rewarded a double facepalm. You know, when one just doesn't cut it. Congrats.

"If I told you about the charitable work I do, etc., then I'd be blowing my own horn and indulging my own ego.  Not today, at least."

You just told me and everybody. Having money and being treated like a king by those who haven't sounds dull. Sure is an individual choice to do so though.

"I do disagree with you on a number of points.  The notion that those who believe that love is the answer or in PUL have to "get up" and give away their possessions, and hike across the nation doing selfless works is nonsense." 

Hehe. It's just a figure of speech. Doesn't it deserve to be loved, no strings attached? No puppy eyes means no love?

"That path may appeal to some, but for me the answer has been to apply it in everyday situations in the real world. "

Agreed. Individuality isn't just about ego.

"If you get tired of hearing about it - pick another thread."

Oh, I'm not tired, if you get tired from seeing the talking/walking angle - pick another topic. Or perhaps don't ask 'thoughts?' Or 'selected thoughts only'.

"So in some ways, the grand experiment of individuality necessarily feeds the egos and ego based action of we earthly beings."

Well, primary education before secondary education, but damn primary education, huh?

[quote author=614A4668250 link=1300722660/4#4 date=1300730984]Hi Bardo,

I think that the feeling of loss and longing may be our misunderstanding of the nature of consciousness, as here on earth we see life as finite, and death as a permanent end of things. 

Mathew,
Surely we don't all see life as finite? Isn't that the "path" that we all follow in our cycle, if you believe in that model? True, that if we believe that life is finite, then the death of a loved-one creates a decision point.  Either we continue to believe that, and our trajectory bends toward the earth, or we pass through the grief and loss, embrace the "light", and our path bends further toward "enlightenment". At some point in the cycle, we will break the orbit and begin to move beyond the gravitational pull and toward the higher planes. Pardon the over-use of the space shuttle metaphor.

DocM,

"If you don't think your initial post sounded like a bit of an attack on those on the board who talk about love, then one of us may have a misunderstanding here."

Very straightforward with the added spice of using emotion to convey the point. Kind of makes the concepts come to life, in a way quite the opposite of being misty, hmmm? Not an attack and no teeth were grinded in the making of the posts, so please don't alarm the dental association. The misunderstanding might be an expectation of how somebody with a spiritual interest should interact. I just don't like straight jackets regardless of the owners. Is that hard to love? The observations are perhaps uncomfortable?

"Acting in a loving way does not mean that we necessarily sit idly by if we are in a conversation and are confronted.  I guess that is called 'tough love.'"

I find the ones most vocal about the joys of unconditional here are the ones not at all bending over when push comes to shove. It doesn't seem like tough love, more like a conflict, choosing what sounds good, but having a hard time justifying it when logic is injected into the mix of good intentions, then stop waving the love flag, but not really, as it's really the love flag but love's suddenly a cousin of jolly roger. Yarr Love. The humor might be hard to love too, but here's to a hearty challenge.

"I suppose it is all how you see it, and for you, it sounds like giving up your material things and serving the poor gives you a sense that your are acting more in line with love."

Nope, it was a point about charity and the elevated feeling somebody down can bring the big hearted. It's not charity for dummies but an example I think flies under the radar.

"I always appreciate a good double palm slap though, but really preferred that we stick to the topic and not make this a personal discussion..."

Good advice, please don't be american about it though - do as I say, not as I do.

Yay Individuality! 
It's inspiring to read different individuals' thoughts revolving around this topic. Getting to know each others' opinions will --eventually  --help us to accept our differences. After all, we all come from the same source/Source.

How much we can extend our caring/PUL is an interesting problem. One spiritual leader said to love our neighbor as ourselves. For me that takes care of the need to sell all to give all away. I think we rub shoulders along the way with those ('neighbors') who have a specific role in our lives. Others remain anonymous.

You all on this thread and on this site have become my neighbors by  making me aware of your ideas.  Keep em coming!

Bets

@rondele,
I agree vis-a-vis PUL. The best I can do is to attempt to generate an approximation (my interpreter's version) of PUL.  I understand your description of it, but cannot relate in any experiential way. I can and do, however, muster my best effort and direct it toward others. My version of prayer. Knowing that there is an ideal, or universal force binding the multiverse is both humbling and encouraging. I hope to experience it.