I have started participating in retreivals more often, now that I am farther along in my studies of Bruce's techniques. I have found that often my helper is actually a native american, a young man. I now realize that I have seen him, or a version of him, for quite a while.  When I was meditating without the benefit of non-physical reality as a frame of reference, I would often feel the presence of a native american at my side as I quieted myself and used my non-physical senses to listen and look (and feel etc) my inner landscape. I have always assumed that I conjured this form as a sort of pop culture joke on myself (hence the title of the post), but this last retrieval made me wonder if maybe he is the real deal.
I asked for a helper and sensed first Gandalf, and then Saruman, both of whom I dismissed as inappropriate helpers (I wonder where we would have gone if I had just let them be?). Anyway, after I sent them packing, the indian (I get the sense of a young man, maybe early twenties) sat down next to me, and I said "ah, here he is again" and felt more comfortable. I asked him to lead me to someone who needed help, and we went to what appeared to be a hospital, in the hallway, which was in daylight but unlit for some reason.   There was a girl standing against the wall, head down, in a hospital gown. Hair very disheviled, dark skin dirty and bruised, hands behind her back as she leaned against the wall outside a hospital room. I sensed anger, rage. I sensed her gritting her teeth as she looked at the floor.  I asked her why she was out in the hall, and she said that she could not go into the room, because there was a "dead person" in there (which I took to be her). I asked what happened to her, and she said "accident".  I asked her again, more deeply, and I got (non-verbally) "rape, murder". I asked where she was from, and I got Tulsa OK. The year appeared to be 1992. I also got a name. Anyway, I asked what she wanted to do and she said she wanted to go "back to the ranch", but did not have any clothes. I said I had someone who could drive her, and from behind me, the helper stepped out, but now as a young female native american dressed in jeans and a checked shirt and with a stack of clean western clothes in her arms. She said lets go into a room and I will help you clean up and then we will go back to the ranch. The girl seemed okay with that. They came out and she was dressed, still bruised but cleaned up a bit. I followed them downstairs and outside. We were in the shade of a parking garage, but it was clearly very hot outside. There was a sixties vintage pick-up there, and it seemed to glow a bit. We got into the truck and then we were outside the cattle gate of a large pasture. Beautiful blue sky and blowing clouds, barbed wire fence with endless waving grass, and a gate with cattle guard.  On the other side were a group of people in the field, mostly vague, but an older native american man and woman in western clothes came to the gate and opened it. The girl entered. The truck disappeard, and a horse appeared with the (now male) helper on its back bare back.  I asked him to take me to focus 27 and he said climb aboard.  We rode into the sky and the clouds and lost visability. After awhile, we seemed to be walking down a slope, and the clouds began to clear and I caught glimpses of a park-like area, but not alot of detail. At some point (I don't know if it was before or after we got on the horse), I asked the helper for something that would help me to verify the experience. He handed me a necklace, with a small talisman of a horse tied on a leather thong (I forget the term for this kind of object). I could hold it and feel it in non-physical reality, but knew that it would not be there when I came back to C1, so I asked for some information. He said "not yet" and something to the effect that "you are not quite ready". I also did not get any real detail on F27 during this experience. At this point I brought myself back and opened my eyes.
  I came away with the sense maybe he is my guide. Also that he feels that I am not ready (well he just came out and said it, didn't he?) to have a more verifiable experience. Its hard to say if I am just boxing him up in a form that I have pre-determined for him, or whether he is persistent in showing me his form.

So I don't know. Should I have taken the gift more seriously? And if so, what should I have done? Did I fantasize his refusal to grant me verification in order to cover the fact that this is just a fantasy? Should I have gone with Gandalf (or heaven forbid Saruman)? I got a name, a city and a date for this poor girl who was raped and murdered. I will try to verify it somehow.  In the meantime, I am still very curious about my faithful indian guide...

Wow Bardo,

Wonderful retrieval. She felt comfortable with you and how you handled everything enabled her to glide right out of all that horrible anger and what must have been some ugly memories. You have a great big heart .

Have you created your own private place in F27? To this day I love going to mine, to see who might show up with answers to my questions. Or I might stretch out on my park bench or climb up into a huge tree There, to further relax my busy mind.

I think I know the answer to what the horse symbolized, but I'm big on trying to not interpret the afterlife experiences of others. But if it feels right to you I'll share what I know .

Thank you Bardo for sharing your retrievals here. Looking forward to reading more.

Much love,

Ginny

Bardo,

You probably know who Chief Joseph was, a civil chief of the Nez Perce Indian tribe from the northwestern part of the U.S.? In the latter part of the 19th century, the Nez Perce, who didn't want to be forced onto a small reservation in northern Idaho, defied the government and went on the run to hopefully cross over the Canadian border. The Army gave chase for several months and were out-foxed repeatedly by their military tactics and obvious intelligence. Eventually, in northern Montana, Joseph and most of the remaining Nez Perce were captured...and later shipped by train to Oklahoma. There was an outpouring of anger from the rest of the country at how the tribe had been treated. Chief Joseph, in hopes of making better what life was left for his people, become famous for reaching out and finding common ground, giving eloquent speeches. He died in the state of Washington some years later, never having been allowed back to his place of birth. Sorry for the short history lesson but it helps to explain what follows .

Years later, an east coast newspaper reporter conducted an interview with the great chief over a period of days, and the last question in the interview was---"If you could have anything in the world, what would it be?" Having gotten use to conducting interviews on-the-go with Joseph, the reporter kept pace as they walked for a mile, then two. The chief remained silent and the young writer decided against repeating the question, for fear of offending him, but eventually Chief Joseph answered with, "A horse". The writer was surprised and disappointed that this great leader and inspirational speaker would come up with such a strange and paltry wish. What he didn't understand at that time was that to the Nez Perce people, the horse was the symbol, the very embodiment, of freedom.

I think we all struggle with skepticism in the beginning. What helped me a lot was just keeping at it, and trusting inner guidance. When unexpected people and things started happening at my F27 place or in a retrieval, I followed Bruce's advice and just went with it. Have fun and enjoy every moment, Bardo .


Much love,

Ginny