http://www.wowowow.com/life/5-common-death-bed-experiences-david-kessler-474005Common Deathbed Experiences, by David Kessler
A renowned expert – and former Elisabeth Jubilee-Ross co-author – offers a new book on death and grief and shares visions reported by loved ones before their final breaths.
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Throughout my years working with the dying, I have noticed commonly shared experiences that remain beyond our ability to explain and fully understand. In the tapestry of life and death, we may begin to see connections to the past that we missed in life. While death may look like a loss to the living, the last hours of a dying person may be filled not with emptiness, but rather with fullness. Here are some of the most common visions and experiences that the dying have:
1. Our Mother Comes for Us. It shouldn’t be too surprising that the person who is actually present as we cross the threshold of life and take our first breath once again appears at the threshold as we take our last breath. The one who cared for us in life seems to also care just as much in death. If you find the concept of your loved one’s deceased mother greeting the dying to be impossible or ridiculous, consider this. As a parent, you protect your child from household dangers. You hold their hands when they cross the street on their first day of school, you take care of them when they have the flu and you see them through as many landmark moments as you can. Now fast forward 90 or 100 years into the future after you yourself have passed away. If there is an afterlife and you receive a message that your son or daughter, now old and afraid, will be dying soon, and you are allowed to go and meet them, wouldn’t you?
Roberta’s mother seemed to have made such a choice. Roberta lay at death’s door going in and out of consciousness while her daughter Audrey sat attentively by her bed. Suddenly Roberta whispered,
"My mother is here. Audrey, your grandmother is here. She is so beautiful." Audrey looked at the foot of her mother’s bed, looked up and around the room. "Mom, where is she? I don’t see her," Audrey frantically asked. The dying woman turned abruptly to her daughter as if withdrawing from the vision of her own dead mother and said sternly, "Of course you can’t see her; she’s here for me, not you!" Her daughter understood perfectly.
2. Trips. The phenomenon of preparing oneself for a journey is not new or unusual. As much as death may be thought of as a transition or journey by a loved one, in their last hours, the dying do not associate this trip with death. I haven’t heard anyone say, "I have to pack my bags or get ready for my trip into death." In their minds, the trip remains associated with life.
Even though death is the trip of a lifetime, they just don’t make that association.
Many people don’t realize that this sense of a journey is part of the history of hospice itself. During the Middle Ages, a hospice was a way station where travelers could find safe haven, a small oasis of support for those on the road.
Travelers were afforded the opportunity to rest and reenergize themselves before they resumed their long, wearying journeys to sacred destinations.
Some travelers, literally at death’s door, were welcomed, given bedding, food and compassionate companionship. While many modern-day hospices may not know this history, the archetype remains embedded in the subconscious of the dying. Whatever the origins may be, dying may be the rest we need before our final journey.
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Alan